To ask for your help - I need to change my life and feel overwhelmed

[CoffeeQueen24]

In the last year my life has been crazy. Started new job, masters, moved to new area.
Alongside this had a traumatic event last summer which resulted in ptsd. I’ve been waiting for counselling and am on antidepressants but in the last year I’ve been self medicating drinking beer every evening and comfort eating. I’ve put on 3.5 stone and look awful.
I know I need to change but right now I’m sorting out unpacking boxes and trying to finish my dissertation by end August I feel overwhelmed.
I literally don’t know where to start.

Well aren’t you amazing!

Massively stressful to move house (I’ve just done it). And you’ve found a new job and you’re obviously within a hair breadth of finishing your masters. All in one go while dealing with a trauma.

Start with being kind to yourself. Focus on the dissertation anything else can keep. Try to eat well (don’t diet just eat good quality food, lots of fruit and veg) and get out for a walk when the weather is nice. Take it from there. After August you can focus on phase two.

You just pick a place and start OP. Send a photo of the boxes and we'll even oick one for you. Then you unpack one box a day. Unpack it properly and put the box away.

Then you do a few hundred words a day. Set yourself a couple of hours aside or an hr at first and build up. Write a plan of how you need to structure whatever it is you need to write. Slowly start each item.

You got this!

Don't start with everything, pick a couple of things at a time which feel easy to control.

I'm about to start using a goals journal where you pick 4 goals for a month - so that could be for August you'll finish your dissertation, go for a walk every day, drink beer once a week and eat more fruit (for example). When you see that you're achieving things you'll feel better and realise you can do it and the little things will build into bigger ones.

Tiny steps. Give yourself permission not to try and take on everything all at once.

Starting with kindness instead of beating yourself up.

Can you find one thing to do for yourself each day for no reason other than it making you feel good? So, not eating or drinking because they're making you feel worse. Ten minutes of your favourite book, or spending time in the sunshine, watching your favourite TV programme...

Thank you think today I will focus getting some words done.
Weight gain is just so at the forefront of my mind atm due to the nice weather and the fact I’ve had to buy new summer clothes as nothing from last year fits me. I’m a sweaty horrible mess right now :(

Daily drinking while on anti depressants is downright dangerous.

Tackle the drinking first then everything else will be easier.

I would really like to and now I should but atm I’ve got into a reward mindset. Everyday feels like such a slog that by the evening a cold beer and burger is my treat to myself the bigger picture is that these ‘treats’ are short lasting and the next morning I feel fatter more gross than ever. Then the cycle begins again :(

J

You sound just like me except that I'm old and have not achieved anything.

You've done so well to be almost finishing your masters, don't be too hard on yourself

First, stop drinking. Today and completely.

Second, get your home tidy and sorted. Declutter and unpack. It is very stressful when your home is a tip and exacerbates anxiety. After that, pick one task at a time and plow ahead. You can do this!

I know I need to stop or at least cut down the drinking but haven’t been able to :(

How about a small target: for example, this week, you’ll take a five minute walk outdoors after your evening meal each night and unpack one box every other day.

The goals need to be small but enough to help you feel that you are taking steps to be active and productive.

If you feel too lethargic to do either, how about setting a target to have a healthier breakfast each morning or to download the Headspace app and do ten minutes of meditation each night around the time that you’d usually snack. It’s very calming and helps distract your mind from other things and it will make you feel like you’re doing something for your health and well-being.

You’re doing well to take the next steps in improving how you feel xx