AIBU about dog at the park?

[atthepark]

Was at the park tonight with my dd6 who has asd. She was playing in the play park that is fenced off with a gate when a Labrador came running in the park towards her. This caused my dd to start screaming and running away. The dogs owner made no attempt to get the dog and I asked her to put the dog on a lead and keep control of it. The woman then started shouting at me saying My daughter was out of control and my daughter should be locked up if that's how she is going to react to a friendly dog approaching her. I tried to explain that my dd has asd and has a fear of dogs but she was not listening.
I am still shaking up by this even though it happened hours ago so was IBU asking to put her dog on a lead?

Tbh if the labrador was being friendly AND you left the gate open I think yabu. Your dd has a problem - that is sad for her but you can't expect every dog owner to anticipate that when their dogs are not doing anything wrong. It's down to you to take action to get your dd more used to friendly dogs, not fuel her problem by shouting and overreacting.

My Ds is phobic of dogs and has had cut . What has made the situation worse is s couple of incidents like this . He screams too which does make the situation worse

A child is taught you ask before you stroke someone else dog . Dogs should be taught not to approach others .

And yes the he’s friendly drives me crackers doesn’t matter My son doesn’t want your friendly dog to say hello

I never let my dog off lead in parks only in isolated areas where you only see other dog walkers simply because my dog is friendly she’s my first dog and I hadn’t realised that having a friendly dog can bring problems as much as a fearful dog can, it’s not a problem we’ve just adapted to suit

@RedSheep73 I didn't leave the gate open I properly shut it but others had come in and left the park after us.
I wasn't shouting I asked the woman to put her dog on the lead and keep it under control it was her that started shouting at me. The dog was in an area that has signs saying no dogs.

I let my dog off lead in a park but would control her especially near a fenced playground. She does love children but I always ask the parents if she’s okay to say hello - some say yes and some say no. It usually helps she’s on her back trying to get tummy rubs.

I’m sorry your daughter was scared and that the dog owner was a bad owner.

@RedSheep73 are you the dog owner?

@IveGotAlpen What a strange question. Just because I don't think we should all get hysterical over tail-wagging labradors. Just calmly shoo the dog out of the play area and carry on.

I own a lab cross. No way on earth would he be let offlead around young children, never mind in an actual play park.
I am so sorry that this happened to you and your daughter
The rude dog owner again giving us all a bad name

Dog thread bingo 🐕😂

In the dog owners shoes I would have been mortified and so apologetic to you and your DD. Sometimes dogs do get in places where they shouldn’t due to things like the faulty latch but bloody hell blaming a small child when it’s your own dog and yourself at fault isn’t on.

Had an incident in the playpark years ago, with an overexcited, snappy dog, my children and a stroppy owner giving me a mouthful.
Best bit was when a small child came over yelling ‘Mrs Heffalump! ‘ and watching the slow realisation dawn on the face of the owner that I was his beloved poppet’s teacher next year.
That’s right, you arsehole. She’s Mine.

Tbh if the labrador was being friendly AND you left the gate open I think yabu No, a thousand times no!

Those small areas, often crammed into a corner of a large park area are fucking ridiculous. Ridiculous because it is shit dog owners that are the ONLY REASON they bloody thngs have to exist!

If ALL dog owners cleaned up after their pets, kept them under control and didn't let them anywhere near anyone, ever, then kids could play safely in the whole park.

But no! Even with a small, specifically designated space SOME oweners just couldn't give a toss about anyone besides their fucking FurBaby! That dog walker, and anyne who even thinks about defending her actions should be utterly ashamed of themselves. Pillocks, one and all!

And yes, I am a dog owner: 8 months old, bouncy and unreliable. So always on a lead and NEVER in the tiny kids area.

Bad dog owners are never in the wrong don’tcha know. It’s always somebody else’s fault and I say that as a dog owner.

I’ve seen a rider thrown from their horse because a black lab and some little dog were running and nipping at the horses legs. Owner said horse should be used to wildlife and it was the riders fault for not being able to control her horse,

I’ve seen a mum with a pram struggling to stop a fairly large dog from getting right in her baby’s face. She was body blocking the dog as she tried to shield her child but it kept jumping and trying to push its face in to lick child, mum and baby were in tears, owner laughed and said “oh he loves kids’.

My dog was bitten by another dog, despite my dog being on a harness and me telling owner several times to call off his dog. His response was “oh fuck off, ‘I am calling him you stupid bitch, your dogs the one with the problem if it can’t cope with other dogs being friendly.
Stupid cow” yeah cos growling and biting is SO friendly🙄
My Nan had to go to hospital for a horrific dog bite to her arm, GSD, owner said “ oh just ignore him, he’s fine, oh just push him away, he’s fine..” my Nan didn’t get the chance, the dog jumped at her and she put her arm up to defend herself ... stitches all over her forearm. Owner actually said afterwards “you shouldn’t have pulled your arm back, that’s why you got injured, he wouldn’t have bitten you hard if you’d stood still” seriously?!

So no... it’s not a case of calmly shoo it off. Enough people have had very negative encounters with bad dog owners to even consider making allowances for these dogs and their owners we shouldn’t be making excuses for them, we shouldn’t be deemed unreasonable for not wanting our spaces invaded by badly trained dogs.

Keep your dogs under control.its not hard and it IS the bloody law 🙄😡

For a six year a Labrador is huge, how is she supposed to know that the dog is friendly? For those that don’t own dogs their behavioural cues can be difficult to understand. You were not being unreasonable, especially if the area was clearly marked no dogs. The owner should have her dog under control and needs to realise that not everyone thinks her fur baby is the best thing since sliced bread.

Do you know anyone with a calm sensible dog you could introduce to your daughter? Maybe if you can take the edge of her fear it might help her in future. My elderly greyhound often helps nervous children feel a bit happier about meeting dogs on the street.

Dogs should be insured, so that if they cause damage, the owners are liable. Everything from bites to dry cleaning to harassment. Microchipped and a smartphone app to scan random nuisances so the details are on record and owners don’t just disappear.
They should be muzzled in public. Dog parks need to be more common, so they can be banned from public parks.
Give it another generation and see how draconian the laws become.

YANBU

When the dog went near the gate to an area that it's not allowed in, if off the lead, then it should have been under control enough to be called back before it got far enough to get in, If it wasn't it shouldn't have been off the lead.
Although you absolutely shouldn't have to, I do think trying to desensitise your DD will be better in the long run, because arseholes like this are everywhere and it probably won't be the last time something like this happens. I absolutely don't think you should do this because you or her did anything wrong, but because it might make your DD less scared in situations like this. It's utterly shit that you should have to think along these lines, but like I said, people like that dog owner are unfortunately everywhere.

Dog owner ‘it’s fine, my dog is okay with children’
Me ‘but my child isn’t okay with dogs’

End of conversation. None of the owners business why my child isn’t okay with dogs.

YANBU OP.

I don’t know why some dog owners think that everybody will like their dog. Or likes dogs full stop. And I say that as an owner myself.

Dogs should be insured, Most dogs health insurance packages include 3rd party public liability...

They should be muzzled in public. Not mine.. muzzle to fit EBTs makes them look fucking terrifying!

This is the least scary one I can find. You couldn't walk that anywhere without terrifying people.

They should be muzzled in public

What even the non aggressive and obedient ones? They need to be under control at all times in public, certainly not muzzled.

What a strange question. Just because I don't think we should all get hysterical over tail-wagging labradors. Just calmly shoo the dog out of the play area and carry on

We don’t ‘all get hysterical over tail-wagging labradors’, some people have a fear of large dogs which is totally reasonable when the dog is a) somewhere it shouldn’t be, b) not under control and c) almost as big as or bigger than the person. Anyone who doesn’t sympathise with this, whether you can emapathise or not, has issues

I'm sick of dogs. It's stopped me going to my local park which I used to go to daily.

I can't sit and mind my own business without being accosted by a dog. I can be laying on the grass with sunglasses on and eyes shut and a dog bounds over and literally physically touches my face/is right in my face/jumps on my face. A lot of times it's made me jump and hurt my neck jumping up. Another time just sitting and two dogs run over and knock me backwards. It got to the point I can't sit and relax so it's completely pointless, I don't go any more.

I'm allergic to dogs and I really, really do not want them touching my clothes or anything else. I take with me a coat or top and often fold it and put it on the grass next to me. Often they'd trample all over my top meaning I'd have to take it home and wash it, causing an extra washing cycle. I normally do laundry once a week so it's just wasteful and annoying.

Just ultra fed up of it. One time asked the lady please can you not let your dog near me, I'm allergic. She said sorry. Then when they walk back, 30 mins later it comes back and does exactly the same thing again.

I actually actively dislike dogs now because they've taken from me sitting in the park. I don't want them touching me, or my clothes, or my bag. I want to be able to sit in peace. I can't any more.

NoSauce, yes.
The expectation that they should be under control, trained to recall and not interact with strangers isn’t working.
A muzzle would prevent biting, nipping, stealing food and licking people. A short leash would prevent them running up to people, jumping up or chasing.
Dog insurance isn’t compulsory yet, and too many owners leave without apologising or reparation. Like their dogshit tree decorations, too many don’t give a fuck and never will.

@RedSheep73 not a strange question , more tongue in cheek with a hint of sarcasm.

But yes , anyone who doesn't understand how the OP is feeling and how the dog scared her little girl clearly has no empathy for people who may be scared of dogs. Or just common sense in general to be honest. Who the hell lets a dog into a play park where children are ?

I am a dog lover but I cannot stand irresponsible owners who think the world revolves around them and their dog.