Thinking DH is fucking useless!

[OhFuckingLisaMorgan]

I've sent DH up to the shops to get something simple for supper as I'm not feeling too well hungover. Firstly he wanted me to txt him to tell him what to buy. Annoying, but fine. Then he txt to ask what it looks like (I've asked him to get a cooked chicken!), so I sent him a google image. Now he's asked where in the fucking shop it is!!!

He's just txt to ask if he can just get something simpler!!! Wtf is simpler than a cooked fucking chicken!!

I bet he comes home without it!

I guess you buy / do all the cooking?

Ah, the “if I make this enough of a hassle she’ll never ask me to do it again” game.

I normally do all the buying and cooking. He is 39 however and I was under the impression I was his wife, not his mum!

"Calculated uselessness ain't getting you out of this, sunshine. Go and find a member of staff and ask for help. Try not to shit yourself. See you in a bit xx"

There you go, OP, try that

Maybe he needs to start planning, buying and cooking one meal a week for a while.

You wouldn't want him to be unable to feed himself if you were incapacitated for a while, would you?

I hope you told him that op. Don’t even engage with him on the phone anymore. He’ll have to use his own initiative then. He may learn the power of thinking for himself and acting as an adult.

In fairness our local supermarket would have sold out of cooked chickens by this time of the day but you would expect a normal adult just to use his imagination and get something else . Or go to the nearest takeaway .

Fish and chips, Sal and vinegar, simple! You made it far too difficult for a man.

@ScrommidgeClaryAndSpunt that is brilliant! He is already in a grump though because we had a McDonald's for lunch (I am VERY hungover ) and he thinks they are an abomination! Had it delivered via Uber too, which makes me a terrible person! I'm all for capitalist greed when I feel this rough!

How has he managed to stay alive for 39 years?
Also, how have you managed not to kill him yet?

God it sounds like we are married to the same man. If it isn't a frozen pizza or a pot noodle he's clueless.
Even if I talk him through it he says it's too complicated.
Yet he can take an engine apart and put it back together without a thought.

@ScrommidgeClaryAndSpunt that's brilliant! I hope you don't mind if I steal that for future use!

Like you, on the very rare occasion I've sent him to the shop I always get the 'can you text me a list' crap but I've never had the rest! That's a new level

Has he never been inside a supermarket before?

Or ever seen a cooked chicken?

Does he have no imagination, even?

Wow.

There's useless and then there's next level.

If my DH asked me what cooked chicken looked like, I'd have serious difficulty responding politely.

Is this lighthearted?

If he comes home empty handed I would be getting a solo takeaway! And then thinking about a redistribution of labour in the home.

Am I the only one HOPING this is meant to be lighthearted? If not you sound a bit mental and if I was hubs I’d be telling you to buy your own f**king chicken

no one is this dim surely, but then this is mn

It is not just men who seem to do this. My DP (female) has just asked me to text a lost after I told her we need cheese, milk and bread. She seriously can’t remember a simple list. Beats my EXDP (male) though. I don’t think he ever in 7 years went to the shop. It was ‘women’s work’

*list not lost

He is already in a grump though because we had a McDonald's for lunch (I am VERY hungover grin) and he thinks they are an abomination

Is he also incapable of getting his own lunch?

"Calculated uselessness ain't getting you out of this, sunshine. Go and find a member of staff and ask for help. Try not to shit yourself. See you in a bit xx"

Brilliant!

Time for a redistribution of the shopping and cooking duties, for sure. Tell him if he can't find it to go to KFC instead

@PizzaIsOverrated how is OP mental?? He asked her what a cooked chicken looked like! A grown ass man asking his wife what cooked chicken looks like! I'm surprised he found the supermarket tbh. I think it can be inferred from the posts that this is in fact a tongue-in-cheek thread

I realise this is missing the point but pizza is far better than cooked chicken for hangovers.