To think I'm a mug?

[Nousernameswhoops]

For 5 years I've had DD's best friend over after school and fed her tea. Her parents pick her up after work. It saved them paying for a childminder and I didn't mind. The children have just finished year 6.

DD and best friend have grown apart recently and will be going to different secondary schools anyway. So I text the mum to say if she doesn't mind, I think now is a good time to stop the arrangement.

She comes back saying ok fine. No thank you or anything, but she's never thanked me for any of this anyway so I'm used to it. Found out from a mutual friend that she's been calling me a massive bitch over social media, slagging me off, saying that I didn't give her enough notice to sort something else out, and so on.

AIBU to think that as the school has already broken up, that nearly 2 months is enough time to find alternative childcare? And even if it wasn't, an 11 year old should be capable of minding themselves for an hour or 2....

I really feel like a mug, especially with the lack of thanks and expectation that I'll provide free childcare.

OP

You’re not wrong
You’ve been a mug. 5 years. And you never questioned this arrangement?

So now live and learn and don’t be taken as a mug again

She’s being rude, entitled and ungrateful.
I’m sorry you were treated this way. I’m very surprised she would even hope you’d continue with the arrangement when the kids were at different high schools!

You did something really kind, but thankfully you have walked away before you were taken for granted any longer.
Presumably other people know the real story? It's a shame nobody appears to have picked her up on it via social media.

Oh wow yes you have BUT a nice one and in this scenario I would rather be you than her so don't beat yourself up.

I would call her on it though "I believe you have an issue with the two months notice I gave you to stop collecting and minding your dd every day for FREE. Unless you want to be humiliated I suggest you stop the fb rants and talking to people about my kindness because I will put them straight and tell them that you have abused my kindness for years without so much as a thank you. You ought to be ashamed and mortified, thank yourself lucky that I am classy enough not to put it on social media, I won't stay that way if you keep spreading lies about me"

@calmdownjanet - as above!!

Not entirely a mug. While the dds got along, your daughter had the benefit of companionship. And, you were being kind. You've made a massive contribution of generosity, not just to that family, but to the universe. There's more good in the world because of your practical kindness.

You've done nothing wrong and the other mother is just … incorrect in her assumptions and behaviour.

Or you could suggest, tongue in cheek, a more formal arrangement of £x amount a day. What a cheek, she should be embarrassed acting like that.

How have people reacted to her comments?
Surely your mutual friends are as shocked as you at her rudeness?

I would have to call her out on this. The nerve!

Wow! What a cheek .
You've fed her DD every school day and looked after her saving them £££'s and she's done that - just wow.
I agree with @CalmdownJanet.

Please send @CalmdownJanet’s reply - it is perfect!