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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WIBU to ham it up and go in on this guy

6 replies

PizzaIsOverrated · 20/07/2019 12:29

We’ve got a new MD at work, he’s been with us about 9 months. He is a horrible, vile piece of work.

DH works for same company but is senior management and I’m admin. DH and other members of senior management have had many meetings where they’ve witnessed MD make derogatory comments about females in our company (ie. would love to have her bent over a desk.. this was said in a managers meeting) as well as using slur words regarding a gay guy that works here.

New MD has taken a real disliking to one of the female managers, for what reason no one can tell. She has been excluded from managers meetings and my DH has witnessed MD making insulting comments about her appearance and indicating he wants her out of the business. She’s not my line manager but I know who she is if that makes sense.

Anyway this female manager has raised a personal grievance against the MD for bullying behaviour and as a result we are all being interviewed by HR on Friday.

DH has been on the receiving end of MDs abuse and insults and it makes me rage when I think about it. I want MD gone and feel like I’d do anything to make that happen.

I therefore wondered if I WBU to really go in on MD during the HR interview and list every single thing I’ve seen or heard him do? Not lie necessarily but usually I’d keep my head down and stay out of other people’s businness but I can’t stand this guy. He’s also told DH to sort my wardrobe out for me as he wants me to wear high heels at all times??

I’m sure other people will grass him up for his actions but I feel like I wanna contribute my thoughts and make sure we see the back of him for good.

OP posts:
jackstini · 20/07/2019 12:35

Tell the truth but calmly and don't embellish

Sounds like there will be plenty of incidents that will go against him

Bambamber · 20/07/2019 12:37

Just don't lie. List what you have personally seen or heard him do and leave it at that.

BuzzShitbagBobbly · 20/07/2019 12:43

Be factual as pp say.

But don't expect anything to happen to him as a result. You're more likely to see the female manager moved out of the way.

HR are not working for you, they're working for the company and will do whatever it takes to smooth things over as easily as possible.

DisplayPurposesOnly · 20/07/2019 12:55

Why hasn't your husband raised a formal complaint against this person? Why has it been left to this person's latest victim to raise a grievance, when it clearly should have been tackled before?

As other PPs have said, stick to the facts in terms of your own statement. Encourage others to be honest and open about their own experiences too.

AtrociousCircumstance · 20/07/2019 12:56

Tell them everything. What a scumbag.

Nautiloid · 20/07/2019 13:23

I would tell them the truth in a calm and factual manner. I wouldn't include things your DH has witnessed, only things you have witnessed yourself. Perhaps make a list and take it in with you if you've been told about this in advance and not just heard about it from your DH.

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