Lurve

[Raindrops2019]

AIBU to think you can tell when someone likes you in a romantic way? You can sense something.

Help me out here, please girls. I think I may be falling....

No advice from the wise women of mumsnet? I don't have a great deal of experience in this area - certainly little that has been successful. Just not sure what you do with someone who is incredibly shy.

I'm not sure what you are asking? Just talk to the other person in a genuine way.

Of course you can tell.

Talk to them, get to know them, ask them out for a drink. If they're shy, then it's up to you to get things moving! They can only say no, and if they do, their loss.

@Stravapalava so, you can tell? I 'm sure I am right about it but I casually asked him to something and he said no.

but then offered to help me on a massive project (which is in his field)

You can usually tell but it depends on your relationship with them in general. Your guy sounds like he might be trying to keep it professional only. What have other people said? Does it seem a guilt offer or an attempt to not be alone with you?

I have a friend I used to discretely sleep with and the remains of sexual tension are apparently more obvious than we expected. We get regular comments on how we'd make a good couple, or occasionally people think we're together and I've been told he fancies me (I'm very sure he doesn't) by a couple of people who are very insistent that they're right. We now work for the same organisation across different places (after the sex stopped). Pretty sure people are just picking up on the fact we obviously don't talk about it at work/in company but both know it is there.

@Tom the project would be just the two of us. he suggested it as he knows a lot about this field and I had mentioned that I was a bit lost. He found something that was helpful and gave it to me. He has told a friend he is very shy and yet when we chatted at a party we seemed to chat easily - we were left on our own at one point and I felt very comfortable with him. I think he is one of these guys who feels comfortable when he is talking about something he knows a lot about but only then.

This is difficult There is something there but I dont know what to do next. My head says leave it to him but I think he might need pushing

If you asked him out already and he said no, take the hint and don't try and push him into something. Work on the project and be professional.

Are you the poster having an affair/trying to have an affair with a work colleague?

@PetrichorRain. We are not connected in a work capacity in any way. He is a friend of a friend.

Fair enough! These a serial namechanger who posts similar threads about a guy she works with.

So you’ve asked him out and he said no? He doesn’t want you love.

I think sometimes you can convince yourself someone likes you, because you like them/want attention/ are desperate but they just don’t

@PetrichorRain apologies, it would have helped if I had made that clearer at the start. Mutual friend seems to be trying to get something going. Just wondered what was going on (if anything) but could just be friend trying to make something happen. Don't want to ask anything directly, would rather do things on my own terms but just had a feeling...very possible I am wrong, though, as I do find these things hard to judge. And we are both excruciatingly shy. I am panicking already at the thought of speaking to him.

@P1nkHeartLovesCake Fair enough.