I have an older DS but my 4.5 year old is currently being excluded by her friend. Friend A tells friend B not to speak to my DD ad they don't. Friend A has done this with a few children at nursery towards my DD.
My DD told me about it and I didn't think much of it for a couple of weeks and then I caught it at drop off Friend A said to a girl "We cant talk to DD as I need a break from her". I stepped in and got them all playing together, spoke to staff then let.
A week later DD was happy friend A wasn't at an event and I started looking more into it. A few more events happened and now I'm sure it's a bit of bullying but very subtle and manipulative. When DD and friend A are playing just the two of them it's ok but as soon as a third person joins in friend A turns on my DD.
The real difficulty is that the DH are best mates so they have play dates and the kids are expected to play together. They are a group of 3 DH and kids same ages so often my DD is upset.
How do i ensure my DD can cope with the exclusion or resilient enough to tell them to F off