About birth injuries?

[hopelessatthinkingupusernames]

Currently having an issue with a prolapse so was doing a bit of reading on it. Apparently studies show that 1 in 3 women who give birth will have a prolapse and having two vaginal births makes you 8.4% more likely to have one.

When I was pregnant I was advised to do pelvic floor exercises but it was never explained why. If someone had told me that there was such a high risk of my pelvic organs falling out of place I’d have taken it a lot more seriously. I also read several pregnancy books and it was never mentioned in any of them either. Aside from women mentioning leaking pee I had never heard anyone talk about these issues either.

AIBU to think that there isn’t much info given about potential issues from giving birth?

I must have had a real good group as got told this before birth although with a class on post birth, eg how to bath baby. I still not got my head around the exercises through. What you meant to be squeezing. Yanbu as sounds like you were told

I have a mum & 4 aunts who are way too open about everything so I knew about prolapse. The one aunt whos had the surgery only had CS’s so I knew that pregnancy alone does damage. I did pregnancy yoga & it was very focused on pelvic floor exercises.

This was a huge reason I chose an ELCS. It might be seen as shallow but I am the only person who has to live with my private parts for the rest of my life, and the risk of 1 in 3 felt too high. I only came across the statistic after loads of Mumsnetting and was also shocked that it's not more widely known.

After my csection I had 1-2 weeks of problems controlling gas plus the usual constipation, and even that made me feel ashamed and annoyed at my body. I can't begin to imagine how women with lasting injuries or incontinence must feel. After the birth everyone is just delighted to see the baby and if mum is upright and laughing then people assume she's perfectly fine again. Nobody wants to hear about mum's private parts or bladder/bowel issues. I remember sitting through so many baby visits gritting my teeth and wishing everyone would leave so I can try pooping in peace.

It almost seems like a taboo topic amongst close female friends. Everyone swaps stories about contractions, dilation, pain, epidurals etc but it ends at birth. I've been very open telling my friends that I chose csection to avoid birth injury but I feel societal pressure for a natural birth is much higher so that alone won't deter many women. Most will go in with the "it won't happen to me" mentality.

I don't think people talk about it enough. I had a crash section at 31 weeks and my recovery was a lot quicker than friends who went to term and literally had no idea what they were letting themselves in for.

If I was to ever do it again not a chance I would pay for a section if I had to.

@fancynancyclancy
Interesting, I had no idea pregnancy could cause prolapse! I was hellbent on avoiding labour, and I suppose I was lucky as I had no lasting effects from the pregnancy.

Just like @User3468793 I had a maternal request c section for this reason. I believe 40% of women having episiotomies have fecal incontinance. I was not prepared for that to happen to me.

User3468793 Yes the weight of everything alone strains the muscles. Plus genetics plays a part.

I have had a intervention free VB which was very quick with only a few stitches & a elective CS, where I needed a ventouse. Personally I preferred the recovery of my VB but I think I was lucky.

What we should have here is physio that many women in France get after birth to help strengthen their pelvic floor.

I have no issues but am only in my 30s & thought that most women need the surgery when they are over 50? I’m sure the menopause has an impact too

I have a ‘mild’ prolapse (doesn’t feel mild to me but that’s what I’ve been told by the doctors!) I’m lucky and could afford pelvic physio, and support it being offered to more women, but it’s not a cure.

I am also still in a lot of pain from my episiotomy (not far off 18 months later).

I agree OP that they downplay the long lasting effects of birth, and that saying vaginal birth is better for the mother is simplistic and misleading. If I had my time again I would have a section.

YANBU - birth injuries are not discussed enough. I had a theatre delivery with forceps and episiotomy after a good 3hrs+ of intense pushing. 5 months later...a bit leaky, prolapse plus my child has scarring to her face and nerve damage to her eye.

I honestly think the recovery was worse than the labour, and the standard line you hear ‘you forget the pain when you hold them in your arms’ meant in my emotional wreck state I felt a bit of a failure, somehow being weak or mardy about it all that I stIll was in pain weeks after.

We are hugely let down on this. Midwives briefly asked if I was doing PFE and I said yes and that was all that was ever said to me about physical recovery post birth.

I haven't been doing any pelvic floor exercises. I'm 39 weeks nobody told me too.

I don't think a lot of pregnancy related issues are discussed or felt with properly. This includes spd/pgp which can carry on post birth!!!

sists and does pelvic exercises as she types this in the hope her fanny doesn't collapse during childbirth

Hello, I know how you feel. I'm 12 weeks PP now and discovered a prolapse 5 weeks after the birth. I was totally unprepared for my body to respond like this and if i'd been warned it may happen then I'd have been vigilant to do PFE regularly

I have my first physio appointment next month. I really hope time makes a difference.

Ive never done PFE. I just do Zumba. During labour the mw couldnt get her hand past my pf and also commented on its strength

But yanbu and we should be better informed of consequences.

YANBU.

I had a maternal request c section but I know pregnancy alone can cause complications without vaginal birth and also that the impact may not be felt for years, decades. We’re all screwed

I'm also massively let down by the healthcare system, I only heard about PFE after my prolapse. It'a also an issue if I want more kids, because it would then get worse. At the moment I'm not incontinent but I feel I go to the toilet more frequently. After giving birth it felt like there was something inside my v and I frequently wet myself. I have improved with time and PFE but I'm too scared to have more kids as I would also be scared to have a cesarian section

I've often wondered about this. Why on earth don't people talk about this?

Is it some type of misogyny? Women being dismissed by the medical profession - 'Oh, it's just what happens when you have children'.

Is it because women are ashamed to admit that their birth experience wasn't the most wonderful, amazing thing to have ever happened to them? They had a rush of agony, not that 'rush of love' you often hear about? Because women who would think twice about childbirth if they knew then what they know now feel like they cannot say this out loud?

Because social media tells women to wear their 'battlescars' and 'tiger stripes' with pride?

Are women simply too ashamed and embarrassed about their vaginas/vulvas/anuses to talk about them?

Why don't our mothers tell us the real truth? Because they have that 'It's just what happens' opinion? Do they not wish to put us off childbirth as that would mean no GC?

It felt good to say all that btw. to all who have sat on bags of ice cubes, peed in the bathtub and cried with pain.

I had no idea the rate was so high, i knew it could happen, but didn't realise how lucky I have been. I had a long labour, lots of pushing, then emergency ventouse and episiotomy, but I healed very quickly, not even any issues straight after birth with constipation etc, thought it odd when I was asked if I wanted advice on opening my bowels, and got a shoulder squeeze when I said oh it's fine I've been it wasn't a problem, 24 hours after birth. I didn't have great bladder control for a week or so, in that when I needed a wee I had to find a toilet fairly quickly, but that's it. I feel very very fortunate, sorry to hear of those of you who are suffering. There should definitely be more awareness of this.

Oh and labour wasn't joyous it was frankly brutal and I won't be doing it again, I just got lucky on the injury front.