Screen free summer

[urbanlife]

I am four weeks into a screen free detox in my house, and now the holidays are here. I did not thInk it would be possible to ditch the screens, but alas it was easier than I thought it would be!!
Once I had prised the damn thing away from her that is, and the initial wails and squeaks, and I buried it in the depths of the house with a tiny shiver of joy. Childhood sucking monster that it is.

Dd11 has made three purses, a teddy bear and several ornaments with oven clay. Rediscovered her toys and she has started reading books !! Actual books. This has never willingly happened before I can testify.

Despite my huge reservations mainly for my own sanity, she really hasn’t missed her screen at all.

I haven’t seen a huge difference in her in any other way, but I am really pleased nonetheless. So we have decided to continue this summer.

I also have dd15 to consider, and I am in dire need of ideas for the next six weeks, how to entertain pre teen and teen with as little or no screen time.

We live in a rural village with sheep for neighbours, so we have to drive to friends etc or anywhere for that matter.

If you have some new or old ideas please share them 🙏🏻

People are being very bitchy tonight ...

Oh it’s AIBU therefore everyone’s ‘fair game’

Get a grip people.

I’m with you OP

Screen time is not the devil. Or Cocaine. My 11 year has used his phone and tablet here in Italy. Its called entertainment. I would never dream of telling him he couldn't, never mind my 17 year old! Funny enough he's also bought a puppet and play dough and played with them to, as well as spend a lot of time in our pool.

We’re in Spain, thank goodness my kids have their phones otherwise we would all have gone apeshit!

I think the fairy-dairy ship of the idyllic screen free childhood sailed about 10 years ago unfortunately!

Presumably OP is more able to self limit her screen time so I think people are being a bit unfair. I do agree older dc should be able to communicate with friends via tech but should also agree to some non-tech days with family. How do you feel about camping OP? Even just a cheap tent in a friend/grandparents garden can easily kill 2-3days and I'm sure they'll get something out of it!

I personally think there comes a point where you have to encourage some self regulation. My DC were born late 80s/early 90s so my DS had a sega, we had a family computer towards the end of their primary school years. So yes that was limited I guess in the respect that we “took turns” going on it. I didn’t impose limits, I never felt the need. Kids reach an age where they realise that going out with their mates is more fun than sitting indoors (and yes most of the meet ups are arranged using screens!). They’re both adults now and probably use screens as much as the average person. They both have plenty of other hobbies that aren’t screen related.

I used to get nagged as a kid for reading too much and not going out and “enjoying the sunshine” which btw I have always hated! I detest the sun! Always have, always will. Sometimes I think parents just need something to nag their kids about. I see a fair bit of what I think is controlling parenting on MN. Things like your child is the perfect weight for their height, active and fit, but oh I will still never allow a spoonful of sugar to pass their lips because there’s an “obesity crisis” don’t you know? Or they only ever drink water while the parents sit their with their wine. So yes I think if you want to impose something. Do it on the whole family. Otherwise it isn’t fair. My DC grew up learning how to limit themselves on screens, junk food, any other number of unhealthy behaviours without me being controlling about it.

could you get them working on a scrapbook to document the summer? ticket stubs, photos printed, little notes?

I had no tv growing up in a similarly small village, and only one computer on dialup internet that was shared between 5 of us. When I was a teenager I remember lots of reading, long walks and bike rides, and from about mid August, lots and lots of blackberry and apple picking, followed up by vast quantities of baking to use up all the fruit!

I agree it's important particularly for the teenager to have some way of keeping in touch with her friends, even if it's just setting up in advance days from them to come round/go into town. It was about that age that I think I started inviting friends round for dinner parties - spent most of the day preparing a three course meal (with lots of help from my mother!), and then getting to feel very grown up with my friends as we had our fancy dinner.

I think “screen free” is excessive and no need for it. Especially given you haven’t adopted this yourself.

Why not just set times / time limits for screen time rather than restricting entirely? Both children are, IMHO, old enough to use technology in a responsible way to stay connected to friends and access entertainment (alongside non-screen ents too - obviously!)

The way some of you people react to this "screen-detox", like she's torturing her kids, only shows how addicted you are to your screens.

And for those thinking the kids are not able to contact their friends without screens: There is a great new invention, it's called a "telephone". Really awesome, you just hold a thing to your ear and can speak to someone who is far, far away.

But nowadays telephones are also screens. They have all manner of apps and things like WhatsApp etc. Who even has a house phone any more? I also think it’s fine for OP to put her kids on a detox as long as she does it too.

You could simply put a sim-card into a simple mobile phone. That's really not that complicated.

Would they work together to cook one family evening meal a week? Research new recipes, go to the supermarket with you and source the ingredients and then cook it. Additionally, try their hand at baking.

Get some strawberry plants for them to cultivate, or give them a patch of the garden to grow veggies.

Planning and redecorating a room in the house (if you can afford it), preferably their bedrooms as they will have more interest. Whilst doing this, get them to clear their bedrooms of unwanted toys, clothes etc and let them keep the proceeds of their stuff as sold at a car boot sale.

Go to a pottery painting workshop.

Get the 11 year old some painting by numbers kits, or scrapeofoil (?). Or a biggish jigsaw that you can leave in place, and do a bit of it together every day.

Get them to make, and then enjoy, afternoon tea.

Go litter picking.

Teach them to knit/crochet/embroider/replace a button if you know how to. Otherwise, get the little one to make pom poms - even I can do that!

Check whether there are any outdoor theatre productions which you could go to - I see a lot advertised in the summer.

Fwiw, I wouldn't withdraw screen time completely, especially for the 15 year old, as I think it is important that she is up to date with what her friends are doing. Which may lead to her attending actual "events" with her friends, and not being tied to a screen!

I’m an adult and I’m in a WhatsApp group with friends where we arrange nights out. If one person didn’t have access it would be easy to forget them. Either by us thinking one of the others would call them and then no one did, or one person taking responsibility then forgetting. Or it’s a last minute thing and the phone isn’t answered at the time we’re arranging it. People in general are lazy now and yes they are reliant on instant messaging. I don’t think that’s a good thing, so to a degree `I agree with you. However, this is the world we live in now.

See, I think the screens are the devil. When I see what my dd has achieved without one, it has made me realise how much time she has wasted, and how they erode creativity. She is also much more talkative.

I have no intention ( beyond the rules being broken ) of banning anything, but we are all cutting down drastically. Beyond the basics I don’t use my own screen that much, so I am probably quite a good example without meaning to be.

I used to have lots of ideas for days out/activities when they were younger, but its much harder now they are older.

We have just had a city break and that was fun, hence my name, but now we are home it’s a little less obvious.

We have been away the last few weeks. Limited internet access so we didn’t bother with any screens or even tv. Now we are back no one has asked once for any device.

Had a good two week detox myself and even deleted some apps.

Beyond the basics I don’t use my own screen that much, so I am probably quite a good example without meaning to be.

But what counts as the basics? To you mumsnet is a basic. Where as to your daughters keeping in touch with friends, watching a favourite TV programme, playing games or social media might be their basics.

Ok OP, to answer your original question, I found my DC were up for doing lots of things if I did it with them. So family board game nights were always a winner. My DD enjoyed doing craft stuff with me. My DS preferred things like bike rides or going out exploring somewhere. They actually both enjoyed cooking with me. If you’re going to have no screens you need to be involved.

leeds thank you your list is exactly what I was hoping for.
I am printing your list now. What a great list 💐

Oh your poor kids.
Ours have done really well at school/uni and all play a sport at national level.
As well as playing music, riding, sailing and keeping an allotment and having loads of friends.
I cant think if a day when any of them (inc myself) have spent less than a couple of hours on the internet.
It's not the enemy, it's a way of relaxing.
In the past it was reading books everyone was complaining about.

I keep saying I haven’t stopped all scree use, but we have all decided we want to be on our screens a lot less.

Basics for me - food shopping, urgent emails. Arrangements with friendships.

Friends

Today for instance we went swimming, cooked lunch, walked the dogs (in the rain) ordered new uniform. Youngest dd made and wrote some thank you cards. Tomorrow they are both riding. But these things still leave a stretch of time when using a screen seems to be the default.

I need to cut down my screen time - it’s completely excessive. Anyway, how about a photography project - we have a book called 104 Things to Photograph which essentially sets photography tasks which are just headlines “ messy hair” “ a different point of view “ “ a happy reunion” “ behind the scenes “ - they could also create photo books or scrapbooks of their summer ( smashbook for example have papers & folders for scrapbooking ). If you have tons of photos they could sort them and create albums or photo books. If you can afford some ingredients you could make natural cosmetic products like lip balms or body butters. Any number of craft or sewing projects online ( try Pinterest) eg quilting, Pom Pom making, cardmaking. Baking - perhaps low sugar or more sophisticated foods for the older girl. Plant a herb garden, wild flower garden. Build insect / butterfly friendly habitat. Pick fruit and make jams. Acquire a tent and pitch it in the garden - build a fire and cook dinner on it or toast marshmallows. Go Geo Caching.... or set your own geo cache. Anything there appeal?

But these things still leave a stretch of time when using a screen seems to be the default

OP. Honestly not getting at you but why is that an issue? That’s what I don’t get. I can’t talk about my parents as they were shit! But I used to spend every summer holiday with my GPs. In the morning my nan and I would go and buy food for the day (she always bought what she needed each day) sometimes with a stop off at the park. Then she’d make lunch, I’d help or play. Grandad would come home for lunch. Sometimes he’d take the afternoon off and take us out somewhere, sometimes he’d work and my and grandma would play board games or do crafts. We’d eat dinner early, around 5. After that it was always TV time. They were fantastic grandparents and it was all a good balance. With all the activities your DC are doing why is it such a big deal if they then spend a couple of hours using screens? That’s what I am struggling to understand from your post.

I’m still going with the suggestions .... how about a charity shop challenge. Everyone has a quantity of cash and you all have to buy the crappest thing for each other and then wear them out to dinner ( ha ha) or something nice if you must. Maybe they could upcycle an item. Or my final suggestion - design and make a care parcel to send to a friend or relative. Check out the gorgeous book called Care Packages by Michelle Mackintosh. ( from the library)