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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To worry that dentists laugh as soon as you walk out of the room?

37 replies

RobynsMama · 19/07/2019 16:54

I’ve been lucky up to now, never needed anything doing to my teeth other and a checkup and cleaning.

But I broke my tooth, cracked it completely in two eating a Freddo bar Blush. It must have been weak because it was the big back molar. But the worst thing is I’m away from home.

It was starting to hurt so managed to get an emergency appointment, fine. Got there and the dentist was so lovely, but after the x Ray she said it needed to come out. Numbed me up (that didn’t hurt at all and I was amazed) then started trying to pull the rest of the tooth loose.

Now I was numb, the anaesthetic had worked really well on my cheek and my tongue but when she started wiggling the tooth it was such an awful pain. So she gave some more local, waited a bit and tried again. It was the same cycle over and over and I got so panicked and was hyperventilating and crying. A complete and utter mess Blush. She even got the dental nurse to hold my head at one point so she could use it for traction I guess? Anyway after 45 minutes of her wiggling and pulling she finally said that it was a complex extraction and she’d cut the tooth up into bits and try and do it that way. Another 15 minutes and it was finally all out.

Immediately after all I felt was this sense of utter shame at how I reacted, it’s completely out of character for me and I’m not usually a wimp with pain but there was just something about this that made me feel so panicky and sick and I keep thinking about how awful it was.

But my AIBU is, do dentists and dental nurses laugh about nervous/anxious patients or those that struggle with extractions and things? I only ask because the moment I left the room I heard laughter from behind the closed door. I’d like to think they weren’t laughing at me, but I’m really not sure. Just in a bit of a feeling sorry for myself state and it keeps playing on my mind.

OP posts:
HarryElephante · 19/07/2019 16:56

They wouldn't have been laughing at you.

Haworthia · 19/07/2019 16:57

No, of course not. I’m sure they are more than aware of how painful, unpleasant and downright frightening your experience was.

Lemond1fficult · 19/07/2019 16:58

If anything, they're probably a bit upset for you. No one likes hurting others (unless they're an absolute sadist!)

Gatehouse77 · 19/07/2019 17:02

DH has similar except he was laughing not crying - so much so he set the dentist off so they had to keep stopping to compose themselves 😄
I very much doubt they were laughing at you as they deal with people’s distress often.

Original poster
RobynsMama · 19/07/2019 17:02

I really hoped they wouldn’t be, and they were so nice actually I think it might be me overthinking it. But it really was a traumatic experience for me and I feel so stupid even typing that.

My dad’s just come out with “I had three teeth out with no local and I was eating salt and vinegar crisps the next day” and I’m sitting here wondering why I had such a hard time when it’s not such a problem for other people.

I had a 32 hour labour with no pain relief and I thought I’d be able to handle a tooth out Blush

OP posts:
SinkGirl · 19/07/2019 17:05

Honestly OP, that’s not an overreaction!

Dentists will see far more extreme reactions from people like me who can’t even sit in the seat without crying. And this (alongside shame at the state of my teeth) is why I’ve been suffering with bouts of intense dental pain for six years without seeing a dentist. I can’t even make the first step of registering.

You are incredibly brave as far as I’m concerned!

Babdoc · 19/07/2019 17:07

OP, I’m a retired anaesthetist, who, as part of my job, provided a regular sedation and GA dental service for phobic and special needs patients.
I can assure you my dental colleagues never laughed at the patients. They were hugely supportive - we had patients who locked themselves in the loo in panic, or cancelled appointments repeatedly, and the dentists were endlessly understanding and kind with them. We all celebrated with the patient when they managed to complete a treatment course, and we had a lot of positive feedback of appreciation.
The laughter you heard was probably relief from the dentist, saying “God, I thought I’d never get the damn thing out, it was so stuck!”
It’s very unlikely to have been aimed at a distressed and upset patient - dentists are not monsters, by and large!

Butterfly005 · 19/07/2019 17:08

You are not a wimp - that sounds really horrible and I'm positive I'd have reacted the same!

HumphreyCobblers · 19/07/2019 17:09

Oh you poor thing, it sounds brutal.

Don't worry about what your father could do, he obviously experienced less pain than you did. Lucky for him!

I find that some pain feels like it is doing DAMAGE and that is harder to bear than pain that just feels like it is there iyswim?

EmeraldShamrock · 19/07/2019 17:47

Oh OP it sounds like it was horrific. I am sure she was as stressed as you to get the tooth out.
Take lots of pain relief.

Floatyboat · 19/07/2019 17:55

They might laugh or they might not. Realistically you cannot be totally sure.

Longdistance · 19/07/2019 17:58

Well, at least you didn’t pass out when they kept topping you up with anaesthetic like a certain MNer Blush

pollypenguin01 · 19/07/2019 17:59

Op I had to have a tooth out in pretty much the same circumstances as yourself.
It was awful, although thankfully I had no pain while the dentist was pulling and wobbling away. It took forever as she just couldn’t get the tooth out!
The funny thing is even though I felt no pain my body seemed to react naturally and I ended up sweating, feeling pretty nauseous and quite dizzy. The Dentist kept apologising and was obviously mortified she couldn’t get the tooth out.

I honestly think the fact you cried is probably completely natural and your bodies way of dealing with the physical trauma of a tooth extraction.

I am sure the Dentist will have seen a lot worse than a person cry.

I am absolutely sure they won’t have been laughing at you at all! It was probably a bit of guilt (nobody wants to inflict pain on a patient even if they didn’t do it intentionally) and a bit of stress relief that the bloody thing eventually came out!

YoThePussy · 19/07/2019 18:02

You are really brave OP, I have needlephobia so just the injection is a palaver for me. The time it took my very understanding dentist to crown a tooth and replace three fillings that had gone manky was horrific. I wild have hated what you went through. If (and I very much doubt) they did laugh at you they are twats.

Myotherusernameisshy · 19/07/2019 18:03

I think it will have been a nervous laugh from the dentist - they have to maintain an air of professionalism in front of you but I bet they were shitting themselves that they had started an extraction and were struggling to finish the job.

Marmite27 · 19/07/2019 18:08

I’ve worked at a dentist. We’d have had a ‘phew tough patient!’ Moment, but never laughing at you.

The only time we laughed we’re at jokes (whether funny or not!)

Jojobears · 19/07/2019 18:09

Hi,
I have a few friends and family members who are dentists. They would not be laughing at you x

CurbsideProphet · 19/07/2019 18:12

That sounds horrific and I think you were very brave. I'm anxious about the dentist and hate having my personal space invaded so much. I'm sure it was a bit stressful for the dentist if there was any laughter it will have been a "glad that's over" / "that was a bit much".

I hope you're feeling ok now Flowers

soundsgreektome · 19/07/2019 18:13

I’m a dental nurse, and all that sounds totally normal! Yep, very distressing, not fun - for any of us! And it’s a relief when the tooth is out for all concerned. I’ve never laughed at a patient who was distressed, nervous or petrified, and I’ve never worked with anyone who has. It wouldn’t be very professional would it?

Fcukthisshit · 19/07/2019 18:14

I was a dental nurse for quite a few years and never laughed at a patient. I worked with lots of dentists over the years and never saw any of them laugh either. Mostly we just felt bad for the person having a tough time.

SolemnlySwear2010 · 19/07/2019 18:17

Your reaction was fab compared to mine - I broke down in tears and threw up everywhere due to the pain and i honestly felt traumatised after my extraction. They 100% wouldn't have been laughing at you, maybe a relief laugh that the tooth had finally come loose?

willdoitinaminute · 19/07/2019 18:22

Dentist here. Believe it or not your dentist would probably be feeling pretty shaken up themselves. An hour to take out a tooth that you were expecting to be a five minute job is physically and mentally exhausting. You are acutely aware of the patients wellbeing and fully expect them to panic at some stage.
I have to say though that I would not have tried to take a tooth out for over an hour. After 30mins I would have stopped, discussed options with you or asked a more experienced dentist to have a look. I’m the more experienced dentist in our practice who ends up sorting out the younger dentists problem extractions. It’s not fun or funny, I usually get one of the staff to contact the patient the following day and we have been known to drive them home when they have become very distressed.
We may have a smile at a patient who is a little precious or one who has an interesting sense of dress. We hate people who wear too much perfume or not enough deodorant. We love patients who give their mouths an industrial clean before they come in but smoking or garlic can be off putting.
Worst of all don’t eat peas for breakfast like one of my patients does, behind my mask I will be retching silently as I poke around inspecting their teeth.

CuntyMcFuckerson · 19/07/2019 18:22

I bet they were laughing at themselves. I had a similar experience and my dentist was exhausted and sweaty by the end (had to open the french doors halfway through to get cool air in!) and I can imagine her fanning her armpits or jokingly collapsing on the chair after i'd left. So if there was laughter I honestly dont think it was aimed at you.

Original poster
RobynsMama · 19/07/2019 18:25

Thank you for all the replies. I think maybe I’ve been overthinking it and it was probably relief. It really did seem to be stuck in there. As I said, the dentist and the nurse were both incredibly kind and that was why I had such a knee jerk reaction to the laughter. But I can totally see it from their side now the painkillers have kicked in a bit. My toddler DD is snuggled up beside me now so she must’ve realised I was a bit off, the independent moo hates cuddles recently. So I’m feeling a bit less sorry for myself.

Thank you so much for the reassurances Smile

OP posts:
Tensixtysix · 19/07/2019 18:26

I had the same kind of extraction as you OP, this was just before Xmas last year and it was the very last appointment they had that day.
Had a cracked back molar and the dentist said that it had to come out.
Started to say that it might be a hospital job, but said that she'd have a 'crack at it' anyway.
Of course, I must have turned a bit white when she said that, but I was in pain and couldn't face being at a hospital.
She gave me some injections and glucose drink to stop me fainting.
Must have been in that room over 40 minutes and when she was pulling I had to make grunting noises.
But also, felt like I was going to be violently sick.
They had to stop 4 times to let me compose myself and yes, I did burst into tears half way through.
The tooth was finally removed and it was a monster three rooted molar!
Xmas was a bit miserable as I couldn't really eat, but at least I lost over 2KG in weight.
Dark clouds and silver linings...