Is this an alcohol problem?

[LetMeGoNo]

Or am I way over thinking it?

If I'm at home and I'm tipsy from a couple of gins then I'm desperate to have another. It's like a very strong urge. I usually won't, though, as I'm with DH.

If I open a bottle, I will finish it. So now I don't buy bottles of wine.

I've been out socialising maybe only three times this past 18 months and each time I've got so embarrassingly past the point of being drunk I barely remember the night as a result. Last time I woke up with blood everywhere and had hurt my leg but I don't remember how.

If I'm out-out, I don't get the sense I've had 'enough' and should stop. I keep drinking. I say to myself that I'll stop after two but I don't.

Is this normal?

im struggling with this thread. It's like there are two different threads going on. Because people are responding to things never said or asked.

No one is talking about drinking one or two bottles of wine a week. She never once said how often she would drink a week given the chance. She never quantified it. It could be every night.

What's she's asking is is it normal to be unable to stop when start, to drink the stage you pass out and hurt yourself. To be unable to buy a bottle of wine because she will drink thr whole thing and be unable to say stop.

The answer is it's not normal or common.

She has not asked is it normal to drink one or two bottles of wine a week.

Drinking to blackout stage on a night out is not good. It is dangerous. But I wouldn't say it's abnormal because it happens to many people many times. I'm not justifying it - it's not a sensible thing to do. But it's a bit like saying smoking is abnormal - it's bad for you but people still do it.

The thing with alcohol is that it affects your judgement and makes you make different choices.

Normality and dependency are different things.

Yes it's an alcohol problem.

Once you start you cant stop, to the point you dont remember what's happening and hurting yourself.

Does that really sound ok?

I'm just home from work and catching up with the replies. Thanks everyone.

Normally during the week I'll share a bottle of cider with DH, and at the weekend I'll have two gins. That's it. Sometimes it'll be a few weeks of nothing at all.

It's hard to stop drinking when I'm tipsy. I feel confident, funny, all my (many) flaws melt away and it feels like I'm chasing that good feeling.

If I'm out, self control goes out the window. I think 'yes I'll stop when I'm just pissed' but I never recognise I'm THERE. I keep going.

Until my legs don't work and I can't use my phone or remember where I live.

I'm recognising this is NOT good. On any level. I'm utterly ashamed.

I'm wondering if it's the relationship with alcohol that's the issue, or if (perhaps) my going over-board is a symptom of something else (I'm not happy or fulfilled and had a very awful upbringing which leaves scars).

From the outside, I'd say it was self destructive.

Thanks again to all the posts.

If you dont know when to stop or cant stop you have an issue. Maybe go and talk to a professional about your past and why that may impact on the choices you are making now.

@LetMeGoNo you sound exactly like me.
I feel like my alcohol consumption/restraint is largely circumstantial. In that, I currently parent young dc, am in a stable, happy marriage etc. So am perfectly able to control my intake and just have a couple of drinks at the weekend, rarely drinking above recommend limits.

BUT...on the very rare occasion I do cut loose, I am usually the drunkest, the wildest (and probably most embarrassing) one there. My teenage years were a shit show in this vein (blackouts and associated chaos). I believe that I didn't have an almost teetotal dh and daily' friends who don't re d to drink to excess, I could easily slide into alcoholism. I think having no 'off switch' is my default iyswim? So it takes real effort to maintain good health and control

And when I say rare occasion I do mean rare nowadays e.g once a year at absolute most!

@Sherryohbaby that's exactly it - it's sort of circumstancial chaos. If I'm in a situation to let loose then I do it to excess and beyond. It's a pattern I've only just realised.

If I didn't have a stable DH and balanced friends then I may slide into drinking more often.

Is the best way forward to avoid drinking altogether? If I have no off switch maybe it's better if I never turn it on.

You aren't alone. It doesn't sound too much of a problem because you have boundaries despite admitting that on occasion you overdo it. I think problem drinking is more common than we realise.
I don't drink at all any more. I also had no off switch and I had no one to keep me in check. I would finish a bottle of wine on an evening on a daily basis and then really let loose on the weekends
It was far easier to cut alcohol out altogether than do the mental gymnastics involved with trying to moderate. It was tricky to begin with. I've read lots of literature about alcohol and quitting alcohol which helped enormously. However I am a much happier person now and I don't miss it at all (Thanks Jason Vale ).
In your situation I would seriously consider cutting it out. Although I said in your case it doesn't sound too problematic its down to the frequency. The occasions that you do overdo it ARE problematic.
As a pp suggested a book like Jason Vales will make an alcohol free life seem very attractive instead of wondering if you'll miss out at events and holidays.
Personally I think anyone who regularly overdoes the booze should be mandated to read it its life changing.

I think OP, you're at the tip of the iceberg. From your updates you sound very much like I used to be 'chasing that feeling' and it 'melts away your (many) flaws'. This is how it started for me, and led to drinking almost every night, out every weekend and getting into some serious states like you describe. I became someone I liked (which cannot be reliable as your perception is off when drunk!) When I got drunk, and just wanted more and more of that. I went on for a few years like you, and then a traumatic life event saw me chasing that feeling more and more. I didn't drink for a couple of years, and now don't ever drink alone and don't ever drink when I'm stressed out, because it's an easy slope to start sliding down. I'm going out tonight, and I may well end up a bit pissed, but not out of control.
Not everyone is the same, I realise that and my experience will be different to yours, but I do think (from my experience) that not being able to stop once started is a warning sign that maybe you shouldn't drink at all or only on certain circumstances like I do.
Unfortunately I do think it's quite common (I've worked in licenced premises for years) and to a certain degree normalised, said to be a right of passage and found funny and not a big deal. Sure once or twice is not a big deal, and most people will have done it but I do often face people who are ridiculously drunk and their friends/other half saying "You're always like this!" Which indicates that incident isn't a one off.
Maybe address your 'many' flaws and why the person you become when drunk is someone you'd rather be?
I don't think you have 'many flaws' btw, but it's the way you seem to see yourself.

Very normal - just perhaps not on mumsnet

Yep, you sound like me before I stopped altogether (after a long time of being even worse than you).
The flippin brilliant thing is you appear to have realised the problem way before I did.

I am honestly exactly the same as you, I could have written this post myself! I’m useless though as I don’t know a solution xx