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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU for not paying the full price for my concert ticket?

32 replies

rainbowbridge · 19/07/2019 13:35

Fully prepared to be told I am being unreasonable for this...

So a while back my friend asked me if I wanted to go to a concert for a band we both like. We'd been to see this band together before and this tour was for a new album so I definitely wanted to go see them again. She said she would buy the tickets and I can send her the money at a later date.

The day tickets go on sale she messaged to say she got us the tickets, but thinks she messed up and bought more expensive ones by mistake. I asked how much and she said £40 each which I actually didn't think was too bad and not much more than what we paid last time. I offer to pay and she said to leave it until closer to the time.

A few months later she asks if I can send the money across, I asked her how much it was exactly and she said £50... I felt a bit uncomfortable saying she told me it was cheaper so just made a joke like "wow who do they think they are charging that much haha" and sent her the full £50.

Concert day arrives and she has the tickets in the envelope they came in, and I can see through the window of the envelope that the tickets actually have £70 printed on them... I didn't mention it, then she kept making references to the tickets and making sure the price was always on clear view to me, even leaving them face up on the table when we went for a meal before the concert.

I know it sounds horrible but I was so fed up by this point with the price increasing from £40, then £50, then £70 that I just never brought it up. If she had just said at the beginning that she messed up and bought £70 tickets I wouldn't have minded. It was more the principle that I'd already paid the price she told me and wouldn't just ask me outright for the rest.

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 19/07/2019 13:40

I think the onus was on her to ask you for £70 if she wanted that.

She should have told you the full price up front, and then you both could have had a sensible discussion about it e.g.

I bought the more expensive tickets - sorry!

How much?

£70

£70! We paid £35 last time, I was t budgeting on that.

I know - sorry. They are good seats/priority access so I’m happy to take £50 for them a f pay the extra myself.

Then you could have decided whether to say:

Great. I’ll transfer you £50.

Or

Don’t be silly, I’ll pay the £70.

ShirleyPhallus · 19/07/2019 13:41

But she didn’t ask you to pay the more expensive cost, she paid the difference?

Geminijes · 19/07/2019 13:41

She probably felt embarrassed to have messed up in buying more expensive tickets and didn't like to ask you for the full cost.

By ensuring the tickets were on full view so you could see the price then she was probably hoping you would offer to pay the difference.

Personally, I wouldn't want a friend to be out of pocket in buying me a ticket and I would have offered her the difference of £20.

Pinktinker · 19/07/2019 13:43

It’s rather strange she paid £70 but initially said £40 then a few months later increased it to £50. I don’t quite understand why she chose to do this, odd behaviour.

I don’t think you owe her a dime. If she wanted £70, she should have asked when she booked it if that amount was ok and waited for your response before booking.

teaandbiscuits89 · 19/07/2019 13:43

Sp ypure annoyed at paying £20 less than the full price!?

Your friend paid £90 for hers, wonder how she feels.

You are being unreasonable. Why not say "you said £50 did you pay £70 the ticket says £70" then see what she says

Divebar · 19/07/2019 13:43

Is this is your friend then OP. Is she likely to be embarrassed to ask you for the money? She probably feels awkward that you mentioned how expensive £50 and now feels she can’t raise it.

NoSquirrels · 19/07/2019 13:43

Do you think what happened might have been in that first message when she said ‘£40’ she meant the tickets were £40 more expensive than last time? Then it was all a misunderstanding she didn’t know how to correct later?

Still - she should have been upfront, and she shouldn’t have bought £70 tickets if she knew you’d be expecting £30 tickets!

MatildaTheCat · 19/07/2019 13:45

If you can afford it you should pay her. If not then don’t.

LIZS · 19/07/2019 13:45

Presumably as she has not raised it again she is subbing you £20 for her error. However a nice gesture would have been to buy food, drinks etc to compensate.

JustMe81 · 19/07/2019 13:46

At least offer her the difference. She made a mistake and hasn’t asked you to pay extra but she’s now £40 down. It’s not your fault but no doubt she had booking fees and possibly postage fees as well to pay. Be nice and offer.

Knittedfairies · 19/07/2019 13:47

Could she have misunderstood when you asked her the price of the tickets she'd bought; compared to the tickets you had last time, the difference in price is £40?

Darkstar4855 · 19/07/2019 13:49

I agree she should’ve told you when you asked what the full price was and it’s annoying that she’s not been upfront about it. As a friend though I’d offer to pay the £20 and reassure her that she could’ve been honest and I wouldn’t have been upset with her. So YABU as it’s a friend, cut her some slack.

Ponoka7 · 19/07/2019 13:52

You've had the use of the better seats and she's a friend, of course you shouldn't see her out of pocket.

Silenttype · 19/07/2019 14:12

I went to see someone recently with my best friend, we'd wanted these tickets for yeeaars, but i told her outright that i wasn't prepared to pay more than £100 for my ticket. Didn't know the price beforehand so made it very clear of my budget. She ordered tickets which came to around £120 (including booking fee an postage) and took the hit for the extra £20. She was prepared to pay whatever price necessary to go, whereas i had my limit. It sounds like a miscommunication, but if you're good friends there's no reason you can't ask her, or explain that you had your limit and unfortunately can't afford to pay the difference.

Original poster
rainbowbridge · 19/07/2019 14:13

I've had a re-read over the texts and the £40 she initally mentioned was definitely for the tickets and not the price difference compared to last time.

As I say I have no issues with her making a mistake, but the way she went about it just made it really awkward.

OP posts:
greenwaterbottle · 19/07/2019 14:51

To me she really wanted to go and thought you'd say no to £70. Lied at £40 but really wanted you to notice feel bad and cough up.

CastleCrasher · 19/07/2019 14:57

I think @greenwaterbottle is right. She was embarrassed she'd made the mistake, really wanted to go with you, so is prepared to pay the difference to make that happen - but would love it if you 'noticed' the price and paid the difference. Personally I'd pay the difference and take the piss out of her for not fessing up in the first place!

NoSquirrels · 19/07/2019 15:03

She was embarrassed she'd made the mistake, really wanted to go with you, so is prepared to pay the difference to make that happen - but would love it if you 'noticed' the price and paid the difference.

Yes, and that is indeed really annoying if her, as OP points out.

She should have been upfront.
She wasn’t.
Not up to OP to figure out what she wants! Hints are bloody annoying - come out and ask for what you need.

ClashCityRocker · 19/07/2019 15:05

Yup, I think that's what's happened alright.

Paying the difference would depend on whether or not I would have paid the true cost in the first place.... If she'd have said 'it's £70, do you want to go?' and I wouldn't have at that price, I would be inclined not to pay the extra.
Although I'd probably give her a gentle bollocking for not being upfront initially.

Isatis · 19/07/2019 15:13

Is it possible she got the £70 tickets at a discount?

Brefugee · 19/07/2019 15:17

she's probably really embarassed that she ordered tickets at twice the price you paid last time, and maybe genuinely forgot she said 40 first time you asked (or maybe just hoped you'd think she meant "around" 40... take your pick)

Up to you. It would depend who the band was, for me. Someone i really really MUST see, I'd pay her the full price. Someone I like but don't HAVE to see tour every new album I'd probably leave it at the 50. Unless she asked me and then I'd stump up and say that next time I'd get the tickets (and hope not to make a mistake)

Who was the band? wee they worth 40, 50 or 70 quid?

NCforthis2019 · 19/07/2019 15:26

How can someone genuinely not know how much they paid? I mean if down to the last vents - fine. But 40, when actually 70, then guessing 50? Bizarre.

FrogsAreMean · 19/07/2019 15:31

She's obviously not a good friend of yours is she?

If this was any one of my friends and I saw the price I would just offer the difference so they weren't out of pocket.
I couldn't give a fuck about "how she went around it" being "awkward" - she's my friend. End of.

WooMaWang · 19/07/2019 15:31

I would be wondering why my friend had acted so passive aggressively.

It turns a situation where you’d both have been able to laugh about the mistake into a weird thing.

And why tell you to wait until nearer the time to transfer her the money?

CatG85 · 19/07/2019 15:43

Think I would have offered to cover/put a bit extra in to dinner and drinks.

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