Surely bottle feeding can't be THIS hard ?!

[dontfollowmeimlosttoo]

Hi Everyone

Wanting to love 5 month old from breast to formula ... not sure how often and at what points during the day 🤦‍♀️
Nct feeding line said that they are not sure as usually with breastfeeding it's on demand but she was sure I would work it out when baby was hungry and we would get our own routine ...

Health visitor said he has to have 40-54 ounces in 24 hours

Cow and gate helpline said responsive feed

I am making up bottles constantly baby has 2 ounces .. break comes back to it .. this can go on a while. The most in one feed would be 4 ounces.

I think I'm not giving him the opportunity to be hungry to take a bigger feed but I just don't know how often I Should feed so am just feeding on demand like breastfeeding ( while giving him around 3 breastfeeds a day)

I am so confused please could you share with me how often you bottle feed and in what order you so things . So is it before or after naps or both.

Currently I would feed before a nap and even if that nap was only 30 minutes I would offer breast after .. maybe Iv been feeding too much but surely I can't do this same thing with formula .

DD was mix fed from the start. I think Health Visitors (and guidance everywhere, really) for mix feeding is very poor, and so people often err on the side of simply recommending you give as much formula to a mix-fed baby as you'd give to an exclusively FF one, which can lead to people like you (and us) getting anxious.

DD never had anything like the amount of formula mentioned. She was definitely into having a few ounces then a few more later on. You never know how much they're getting from the breast, but it could be quite a lot! One time when DD was a couple of months old we went away and forgot to bring the bottles, so we swapped her from mix-fed to EBF for those few days, and she was absolutely fine, which suggests to me that she was already getting most of her intake from the breastfeeds.

It sounds like you'd be better off stretching the gap between feeds, whether breast or bottle, so baby is hungrier and you may see he feeds a bit better.

“They obviously take more when really hungry so the best time to take a big bottle feed might be first thing in the morning before a bf. That can help to set up the day with 3 hour gaps. You'll feel better knowing exactly how much he's had and can distract him until the next feed when hopefully he'll take more again.”

Yep, I’d do that...

So big feed first thing... then get as long as you can between that’s and the next one (without getting him completely hysterical or anything, obviously) and just gradually stretch out the time between feeds.

It’ll not happen immediately, but eventually you’d get to a pattern which works better.

...the problem is baby starts playing around with the teat swirling it around in his mouth.

This isn’t a problem as such, it’s just means he’s full and doesn’t want any more.

I agree with PP that you need to try and space his feeds out a bit if you want him to take more at a time. Next time he is hungry distract him with a toy or a song for 10-15 mins before feeding and gradually build up the intervals between feeds. Feed him for a reasonable amount of time and then when he stops feeding well and is playing with the teat stop the feed and take the bottle/breast away so he’s not encouraged to “graze” for hours on end. Feeding in a quiet place with less distractions can also help at this age.

@MRex he enjoys it but say if he wakes up from a nap ( even if it's only 30 minute or 1 hour ) he will cry and then we have to walk home with him crying or I get him out and hold him. And then I'm rushing to get home to feed him ( even though I have only fed him just before nap )

@SarahAndQuack yes I know what you mean. I often found my baby wouldn't settle down for a nap just having breast milk but then there are times he just has breastfeed then has a 2 hour nap so it must fill him up

I would google "schedule 5 month old" or "routine 3-6 months", things like that - you will usually find some suggested schedules and you can see how it works for you.

Or another suggestion might be to use a baby tracking app e.g. I like "Huckleberry" - carry on as you are, input the feeds and sleeps and see over three days or so if there is any kind of pattern. Then you can sort of consolidate the pattern to suit your own routine.

You will be starting solid food in a month or so, so it would help to have something of a routine before you do this. It's not totally necessary, but it does help. You might find some of the baby food companies have suggested routines starting with all milk feeds. Or you could try something like the Gina Ford weaning guide. I'm not a fan of her generally, but for a starting point for a routine? She's meant to be some kind of routine master so it can't hurt.

I would have said a 5 month old can definitely be distracted/jiggled about to stretch gaps to 2-3 hours. Certainly 2 and then stretching to 3. It's all fine to feed on demand if it's hourly when breastfeeding because it's easy to let them have a little bit as often as they like and get on with the day but with bottles it's such a faff because the formula gets too high in bacteria after an hour of first being drunk from which means a lot of wastage and having to make up new bottles and so on, which means you're pretty much constantly making up, washing, sterilising bottles which is really inconvenient. So it makes sense to (gently) push towards longer gaps - and I agree, start enforcing the gaps, and the ounces will follow. When we did bottles responsively I tended to make about an ounce more than I thought he would take and then we'd let him signal when he'd had enough.

I would not worry about him being hungry, he will let you know if he is hungry.

Thank you @Darkstar4855 I will try this. Yes he starts swirling it sometimes after only having 1 oz but then I guess he has probably had breastfeed not so long ago. The breastfeeds are never proper feeds he just bobs on and off for abit and gets distracted . I will try the quiet room ( I had a brilliant breastfeed yesterday where he actually stayed on 20 minutes and even got to flutter suck stage which never happens) and he did go 3 hours then .. if only it could be more like that then I wouldn't have even considered formula it's just something had to give as he was bobbing on and off breast all day long and I couldn't take him anywhere was awful so unsettled all the time

In same position instated baby led weaning. And dh gave bottle at night then breast the rest of the time.

Thank for @BertieBotts yes I have used a whole tub of formula since Monday 🤦‍♀️ it is a lot of waste when ur making it up hourly .. yes he has always been very on and off breast yesterday was first flutter sick and 20 minute feed I had in a long time ! He subsequently went 3 hours until the next feed but this is VERY rare

@Waveysnail hey did you start baby led at 6 months and just slipped purées

Also that age bf had to be in totally quiet and boring room. If I was at home and they started bobbing I would pop them.down.on changing mat. You could also try compressing breat whilst feeding. I got some great tip.from kellymom

First was 6 months, second was 5 months as literally he just nawed in things (his older bother slipped him ) so started giving him bits on his high chair. My youngest was around 5 months too

Yes I stupidly went out for food the other day and attempted to bottle feed which resulted in my baby smiling his head off to my brother and swirling teat around ( this was after a 2 hour nap and probably 2.5 hours since last feed ) he was unsettled and seemed hungry but didn't want to know

My boy is five and half months and I switched to bottles at 3 months.

He gets 7 Oz offered at each feed and is fed at 7am, 9am, 12pm, 3pm, 5pm top up at 7pm at bed, then 5oz at 11pm for a dreamfeed.

I started to wean him early because he's so hungry. Now he gets food before milk at 9am, 12pm and 5pm. He probably only take a few Oz at these feeds now.

I would try and give him a big bottle feed first thing and then try and stretch out the distance between the feeds to see if that helps him take more. The most useful thing anyone said to me about bottle feeding is not to get hung up on the numbers of what he's eating. If you were breastfeeding you couldn't measure what he's taken, you'd just have to trust that he was full. It's hard but let him take what he needs and don't sweat the figures.

Well, it's no point trying to stuff more food in a baby than it will take. So don't worry about it. Baby will regulate their own intake.

I've bottle-fed my two from the start. Although DD was a ravenous baby from 3 days old who downed 180 ml in one sitting, then slept it off for a solid 4 hours 😂, she did plateau at 180 ml per feed around 9 months. Though we did go through a phase like you describe, mainly down to my husband who kept offering food whenever she would cry . I think this changes between 6 weeks and 3 months when they start to be awake more so you shouldn't fall into that trap. DS was the same, but I nipped that in the bud. He took a lot longer to go from 75 ml to the 180 ml he is on now at 7.5 months though.
Both were fed about 7-8 feeds a day in the beginning, going down to 5 in the first 6 months. DS is now on 3 180 ml feeds and one 120 ml before bed with lunch and dinner.

I used to distract DD until she wouldn't take anymore and then feed. Issue solved.

We fed PRE formula at the time because that allows you to feed on demand like BM.

Thank for @Si1ver that's really Helpful! When does your little one tend to nap around those feed times ? 😊

Thank you @kikibo . It's hard as say if he has only had 2 oz and then he is crying half an hour later we can't say ok lea make you wait 3 hours because we know he has only had 2 oz ... so then we offer and he has 1 then whinges pulls off has another 1. The cycle keeps repeating ... i will try the first feed being a bottle and see where we go ... I don't know if it's because I'm pace feeding but he seems to keep throwing his head forward ... I don't know whether just to tilt bottle more as the nipple confusion is probably already there anyway and i am hoping to stop breastfeeding soon... I know paced feeding can help with wind and stop him taking in too much but I think it's frustrating him I'm not sure ... currently use dr brown narrow neck bottles with teat suitable for high palate but I might try normal ones now fast flow

You could also try a dummy, as some of the feeds may be more for the comfort than the nutrition - it might be a dummy+cuddle can help here.

Although TBH if it is so difficult to work in the bottles, might it be worth looking for a different solution to this on-off feeding? I find once you introduce solids it makes a difference mainly since you can sit them in the highchair with a snack if they are really driving you demented. The more they get mobile, start sitting, and hence can entertain themselves helps a LOT too.

I am definitely all for breastfeeding on demand, but on demand does not necessarily mean that you need to be at the baby's beck and call and/or feed at intervals of a few minutes, when they are doing that constant on-off thing. It is perfectly OK (and vital for sanity, IME) to sometimes put the baby down, and say I'm not feeding you any more right now, that's enough, let's do something else. You can then distract with toys, movement, change of scenery... Likewise if you know they are hungry but you want to take 5 minutes first to get a cup of tea, go to the loo, put a DVD on etc - all fine. Keep talking soothingly to them while you get yourself ready but this is all about putting your own oxygen mask on first so that you don't "drown" trying to meet their every whim.

@BertieBotts I absolutely love your response thank you , you have actually identified the fact I have needs to and gave me some really Helpful tools there .

I have tried to introduce a dummy several times as recent as today but baby spits it out ... considering trying those breast shaped ones .

I have just screen shot your post so I can re read and keep - thank you 😀

When one of mine was doing lots of all day grazing, I reset things by making sure we started the day with a really good feed - feeding from one side until baby started messing around/slowed down, then switched to the other side, then back again etc so first feed was 3/4/5 sides until baby definitely wouldn't take anymore.

Then I would distract for at least 2.5 hours. Next feed same thing switching back and forward until baby was definitely full.

This seemed to get us into a better pattern.

At 5 months he is getting towards the time for weaning, the 6 months for weaning is a guideline, have you thought about trying him with a small amount of solids to see if that would settle him better? Try cereal or porridge made up with his milk, just a couple of spoonfuls to start with & go from there.

Oh, concerning the dummy, mine never got had one, but they both suck their hand when they want comfort. I did have to show DS how that worked, though. Maybe you could try that or otherwise put risk your own finger/knuckle.

My baby was bottle fed breast milk and formula and never took much more than 4oz at the most.
I fed on demand and made up bottles as and when he wanted them.
There wasn’t ever any pattern I could see to it and some days it would be lots and some days less

@AbbyHammond during the distraction though what if baby was due a nap would they still nap if hungry? I just worry that we end up overtired or cat naps if not full