Family think I'm bad for leaving child at school 10mins before door opens

[pointbla]

I take my year 4 child early 10 mins before the school doors open and leave him there. I have another child to take to another school. He's 9 , I see no problem with it , other children are there too. Also, I don't regularly do that just occasionally.
My family seem to think this is very bad and I am putting my child at risk as the kids mess about. AIBU?

Because, like it or not, you cannot entirely control other people's behaviour. You can ask, but unless you are prepared to police it you cannot force compliance. So if you really don't want it to happen, don't enable it.

That’s the saddest thing about this. People have so little respect these days.

Our school gates are never locked. It's great; the kids learned to ride their bikes in the big empty playground during the summer holidays; they can go in and play on the climbing frames away from traffic etc.

That's why I'm so at all this uptight responsibility stuff. The playground to me is something for the community to use and enjoy. Not somewhere to be locked up unless the headteacher is watching and the insurance is up to date.

It would not be a problem as 9 years olds are able to be left unsupervised for 10 mins before school.

What about 8 year olds? 7 year olds? If people are just going to do what they like - leave their kids alone even when asked not to - what’s to stop them doing it even when you don’t agree that the child is safe to be left?

The OP needs to come back and tell us what the school has asked parents to do. Then she needs to do that. It’s not complicated.

@herculepoirot2
Everyone inschools round here, do do what OP is doing! The world hasn't collapsed , it's a very nice area, and pupils are encouraged to be a bit early, just as OPs child is.
it's not unusual for DC to be dropped off even earlier if sibling in another school.

OP hasn't said her child is waiting in playground.

It doesn't sound like it works in your school set up, which may have a riskier physical setting or poorly behaved pupils, or other factors, but not every school has same variables, or limitations as your school.

The playground to me is something for the community to use and enjoy. Not somewhere to be locked up unless the headteacher is watching and the insurance is up to date.

It’s not a public playground. It is a school playground. The Headteacher is accountable if someone gets hurt and he/she didn’t take steps to prevent it. In this case, communicating to all parents that they do not have permission to leave their children unsupervised in school property is a completely reasonable step to keep those children safe.

Does my DD go to the only primary school where they don't open the school gates until the classes are open? Her school is in a rural village. Everyone waits in the street until they're open then goes straight into class.

OP hasn't said her child is waiting in playground.
It doesn't sound like it works in your school set up, which may have a riskier physical setting or poorly behaved pupils, or other factors, but not every school has same variables, or limitations as your school.

The OP conveniently hasn’t said anything.

Yes @herculepoirot2 but in my example the headteacher is clearly taking the view that it's a space for children to enjoy for more than the 30 minute break they get once a day. I really appreciate it.

WhenOneFacePalmDoesntCutIt

how do you jump from obesity to not playing in the street?

Or are you trying to imply that my kids MUST obviously spend every single free minute of their time eating snacks in front of screen sobbing on the sofa? Because it's one or the other?

You have posted the most hypocritical post I've seen on Mumsnet. How dare you say that^ when you jumped from kids playing outside = feral children🤣🤣🤣🤣. Absolute hypocrite that you are.

For all the 'youre expecting others to look after your child if there's an accident'. Well yes. It's called not living in a neoliberal mad Max kind of world. Every time you go out of the house you are relying on others to help out if things go wrong. Unless you are suggesting that if you fall and break your leg and hit your head in the street, it's nobody else's responsibility to help you?!! It's about balance of risk. If you left a 4yo the likelihood of problems is unacceptably high, so you wouldn't do it. By 9 it's low enough that you can, like the rest of us, rely on others to help in case of problems. Otherwise why do schools allow yr4s to walk to school alone? Or do they only do it on the understanding that the kids time their journey so as to arrive no more than 6 seconds before the bell?!

I do feel for these kids who've never been allowed any degree of unsupervised okay by 9. You may think you are being a responsible parent, but the lack of initiative and responsibility of such kids actually ends up rebounding on the rest of us in precisely the way you are suggesting we are doing. If you don't build up independence gradually you set up for a world of problems when they hit teenagehood without the faintest clue as to how to look after themselves.

Anyway, until the OP actually clarifies a few things (what the school policy is, why she doesn’t just send him to school alone if he is old enough to be unsupervised, who she thinks is responsible for them, why she can’t ask another parent to watch him) this is all a bit of a waste of time.

Where on earth did you come up with the equation that kids playing outside = feral children?

The real world?

You are the one translating "outside" by "the street", that wasn't the original comment for a start.

In the real world, I don't see kids setting camp and playing in the street, there are enough outdoor places (and better, more interesting places) for them to play.

It's safer for them, safer for the cars, more convenient for pedestrians and neighbours, the street is not a playground, since when?

Sometimes I wonder on which planet some MN pretend to live, with kids spending their summer in the street, building dens, climbing trees... yeah right, that totally happens.

PLAY not okay!

Yes @herculepoirot2 but in my example the headteacher is clearly taking the view that it's a space for children to enjoy for more than the 30 minute break they get once a day. I really appreciate it.

I’m sure you do. That doesn’t mean those Heads who don’t choose to do this don’t have good reason.

Rainonmyguitar

you might want to research the actual meaning of hypocrite

Yeah that's exactly what happens @WhenOneFacePalmDoesntCutIt

Kids do go out to play in the street with their pals, the older ones go along to the park and make dens in the bushes, they spend hours in them after school.

If your kids ever go outside they'll keel over the world of possibilities.

frogsoup

It’s nice that you feel you live in a world where others should and will take responsibility for your children. I don’t feel that, and I would think a person who left their child under my informal supervision without discussing it with me first was the definition of a CF.

" on which planet some MN pretend to live, with kids spending their summer in the street, building dens, climbing trees... yeah right, that totally happens."

MN shocks me often but this takes the prize. Truly astonishing comment.

Some kids at our local secondary school (of all ages) get there just after the kitchen opens at 6:30am, they help set out the chairs and get a free breakfast.

At our school ks2 is drop and run from 8.30 onwards so in that respect yanbu.

Yes its ok, until something happens, then what?!

This is pure paranoia. I went to primary school for 7 years. Played unsupervised in the playground every morning and every breaktime...NOTHING HAPPENED. Is the 'something' you refer to a bumped head or a minor scrape???

Sometimes I wonder on which planet some MN pretend to live, with kids spending their summer in the street, building dens, climbing trees... yeah right, that totally happens.

That happens not too far from where I live. The children mostly live in flats or houses with no gardens and there is not a park close by so they play in the street. Yes a park would be safer but they don't have one so the options are to stay inside or play in the street. I don't live in some magical place but it certainly happens here.

AudacityOfHope

my kids have access to more than enough outdoor places to play with their friends and have never needed to be left on the pavement to play in the street. I am pretty sure they are not missing out much

YANBU - if they think it is so bad why don't they offer to assist with the school run or help finance breakfast club. Mention it to them, I am sure they will change their tune. People are very quick to judge, but don't often come up with any helpful solutions.

What if everybody did what the OP is doing?

I'm in my 40s - it was the norm middle school age onwards we all walked - no parents at all on playground - don't think there were teachers either we waited on playground and doors opened we went in.

There's a good 5 min walk from gate ks2 go in and door KS1 and younger go in and they have the same start so it's failry common for older kids to be dropped at gate - I supposed that why they say 10 minutes - though not sure what they mean by supervised as according to DC the teachers aren't on playground - though they probably are in classrooms and can see out.

I think it dpends less on what OPs family think and much more how the school views the situation.