What martial art can I try and am I too old?

[bettybooroo]

I'm a mother of three and the kids are growing up and independent enough that I can squeeze in another hobby. I love cycling but would love something else too especially during the winter months. I have always wanted to try a martial art not solely for the self defence aspect but because it looks fun and it's a great workout. My only caveat and this may sound stupid but I don't want to strike, punch or kick someone. I know this may be a tall ask but are there any disciplines out there that people have tried and could recommend where you don't strike or physically hit? Also I'm in my 40s and whilst I'm athletic I hope I'm not too old.

@MisterDog well done. True inspiration and you can feel your passion in your messages. Ok so the submission is like a "you got me I can't escape". I'm not that competitive so I have no problem doing that if it avoids injury. I imagine the class is more guys than gals? Can women realistically ever submit men when grappling or is that just a pipe dream I have in my head? Presumably a choke is only using your arms? It sounds technical

@StillMedusa amazing story. Well done and congratulations. Not many people could achieve that

@MisterDog when you say "went out" do you mean pass out? I'm assuming it's fairly obvious when you catch someone and it's game over? Or on the flip side if you're trapped is it obvious you can't move? You wouldn't want stubbornness to win in that situation

Judo involves no hitting- throws and hold downs only.

I took up taekwondo 3 years ago when I was 42 and I love it. It's become a huge part of my life and I've made so many friends, it's like having a second family.

I am still overweight but am working on it. There is sparring in taekwondo and it can be quite full on but it's just one aspect of it - patterns is the bulk of it and also destruction (breaking plastic or wooden boards with your hands and feet - it's great fun!).

Only thing I will say is that I've never had so many injuries but then I do train at least 3 times a week and it's hardcore. I broke my big toe again last night at training - 4th time in 2 years.

I took it up as my kids do it and I thought it looked so much fun and I was right. We all compete regularly at national competitions and normally do well as does the rest of our club. Working towards the world open in Slovenia next year, can't wait.

When I first started I was the only girl in my gym but now it's becoming alot more popular which is brilliant as other women make brilliant training partners, especially if you aim to compete. I think there are 6 at my gym at the moment, although still mostly males.

I've seen lots of women submit men and have managed to win against my husband a few times which was brilliant but strength does come into it. Chokes can be with your arms, your opponents gi material, your gi material or even your legs in the case of triangle chokes.

I've seen lots of people too stubborn to tap and they either pass out or get injured, it's not pretty.

Check out aikido .. my DSs do it and it's essentially non-violent martial arts training where you defend yourself while having concern for protecting the welfare of your attacker

Its a lot of 'breaking away' and body movement to get the upper hand or escape rather than striking an opponent or hurting someone

Taekwando. It's brilliant.

I started karate at 50. Ds was small and wanted to learn but wouldn’t do it without me. That’s 6 years ago and I’m fitter & more supple as a result.

I’m not the oldest woman in the class. It’s a light touch sport so we hit pads hard but not our opponents.

Krav Maga for the ultimate in self defence. It's the elite Israeli one. So bloody good. You Learn to defend and fight in actual real life situations and not formulaic ways or thru patterns in more traditional martial arts. I've done tae kwondo, to Blue belt, Wing Chun Kung fu. And Krav Maga tops it for me.
I started in my forties with my 3 boys. Always wanted to do it. It has many amazing self defence techniques built into to. We practise with rubber hammers, guns and knives to simulate actual scenarios that happen in real life. IMO there is no better self defence

I’m 47 and just taken up mixed martial arts. Not the cafe fighting type which a lot of people seem to think 😂 but just mixed disciplines. I took it up to improve my confidence after getting quite severe depression. And it’s certainly done the trick for that.

I love going, everyone is so positive and supportive and I feel fitter already.

The only downside is it’s not cheap but it’s only money

Great thread! I did wadoryu karate for years as a child throughout middle and secondary school. I was preparing for my black belt grading when I got distracted by exams and probably boys as well. I tried to start again a couple of times in my twenties but for various reasons never stuck at it. I wish I had never stopped, and part of me would love to start again, but I worry that I am now too old, so your thread resonates with me.

I'm going to contradict myself now by saying I absolutely don't think you are too old to start...I only know about karate, but as others have said, the sparring is light contact only. You will get very fit and strong. I enjoyed the discipline and I especially liked kata.

My daughter is learning karate now and the sensei is a lovely lady in her 50s, who I think stopped karate for a while and then re-started. Actually, if she ran an adults' club locally I would join it immediately! But she only runs childrens' classes.

You are not too old! My MiL took up martial arts in her mid 40s and is now a 3rd Dan black belt and an instructor.

I'm a martial artist and second giving Brazilian jiu jitsu a try.

All I ask is you go in with an open mind. It's a very close contact sport, it's hard going because it's not something you'll achieve a black belt in anytime soon. You'll need to respect how dangerous the sport can be, and I'm saying that as someone who used to fight in kickboxing, K1 and Thai boxing. BJJ is on another level because you are essentially trying to choke people and putting pressure on joints and forcing them in unnatural directions/positions.

All that said, it is utterly amazing and I love BJJ

UFC by the way is MMA - mixed martial arts. It's a stand up game (kickboxing, Thai etc) and a ground game (BJJ, Judo, wrestling).

Bjj! Bjj!

Chokes aren't just with your arms unless you're super strong. I guess essentially you get the other person trapped in a space, then you slowly make that space smaller, like misterdog was saying it can be with different body parts.

Er, it does help to have no sense of personal space or boundaries though, but mums are usually ahead of the game on that one

Aikido if you don't mind being thrown. It's a martial art so the end goal is self defence rather than a sport and uses the attackers strength and momentum against them.
At a training camp demo I saw a 70 year old expert throw a black belt I trained with without touching him. It was amazing.

Bjj competitions start on your feet and you have to do throws, sparring ought to be from your feet really but a lot of places start fron your knees as less chance of getting hurt.

Worth sussing out the gym first, one full of 20-something MMA blokes will have a different vibe to one with a large over 40 contlngent. If you're in the SE I could give you recommendations?

@TheHeathenOfSuburbia just PM'd you. It sounds like a whole load of fun. Ok so it's literally using any part of your body to choke which sounds like a game of chess but using your body. It sounds like you are thrown in more at the deep end which I like over something like karate where it takes so long to actually try it with something. When you say make the space smaller and smaller in bjj is that different to the submission or the same? I can't wait to explore this

@littledrummergirl aikido sounds fun also. Do you compete or is it mainly just holding back punches and kicks? I wish I was brave enough for striking but I'm not. I tried boxing before having kids and someone caught me in the nose and it just wasn't fun. I would rather just tap out when it gets too much which is why bjj sounds suitable

Just to say OP, you won't be 'thrown in at the deep end', not if you go to a reputable gym. People who have no idea what they are doing are a danger to others as well as themselves. You certainly shouldn't be sparring as a beginner.
A decent coach will guide you through the sport. Have a look at Gracie Barra. There are programmes for the classes and have a beginners one.

@Neron thanks, I more meant can you do the application of the things you are learning relatively early on by going against someone in a spar? I found with karate it took so long to get through theory and practice I was bored of punching the air by the end

I'm a mum of 2, and I took up judo last year. I've graded to my orange belt.

Like you, I fancied doing a martial art and wanted to get fit. I've done traditional jiu jitsu before, but I couldn't find a local club, so I tried a BJJ class and a judo class. Judo is throwing people to the floor and then holding them there. BJJ is the same, but specialises in the part where you're on the floor.

Both were good. The BJJ class was much more masculine in approach. They didn't have an option for training just once a week (had to be twice or more), and it was a bit 'Bro'-culture. There was a thread on here last week where the poster's husband refused to miss their son's birthday morning because he had to get to his martial art class. It felt like that. (But other gyms may vary...)

The other thing to say about BJJ is it is very close contact. You'll be on your back with your legs around the waist of someone you've only just met. But it's also great exercise.

As for judo, I'm really enjoying it. It is challenging for us older people. You get thrown onto the mat, and when you've had two kids and you're slightly overweight (like me), that in itself is an accomplishment! It definitely has a competition side to it, although as a senior it's not as expected that I'll enter as it would be if I were a junior. Again, excellent exercise, and my body feels like it's becoming more resilient.

I would suggest trying out a few local classes and seeing which you 'click' with. Finding one you feel comfortable with, and where you like the sensei, will be important.

I should also have said that I'm 39. If that wasn't apparent from my username ;)

I started Shotokan karate in my early 40s and earned my 1st Dan when I was 50. I competed at kumite until I was 51. I loved it Kumite, with Shotokan, involves pads, showing agression but not actually hurting your opponent (punches should make contact but not hurt). I competed (and won) a regional competition 6 weeks after having major surgery (I didn't inform anyone - not recommended)! I was fine.