Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

Sponsoring neighbourhood kids

19 replies

Redyoyo · 18/07/2019 20:57

We have moved into a new estate 5 weeks ago, tonight one of the kids who lives a couple of streets away came to the door with a sponsor form, asked me to sign it. My 2 kids were at her back there was a few other kids with her, i said no. I had no idea what it was for and i dont really know this kid, i know her name thats it.
My dd9 is raging at me and has been crying for the past half hour.
WIBU not to sign it and give random kids money.

OP posts:

MmmBlowholes · 18/07/2019 20:58

How trivial. No, yanbu but maybe for politeness sake you could've given 50p or something (if you're able to afford it)

GibbonLover · 18/07/2019 21:12

On no, YANBU at all. Plenty of people don't have money to give away and even 50p could potentially mean that someone misses a meal (don't get me started on the Tories...). Plus, you didn't know who or what you were sponsoring and just because 'it's chiiiiildren', it doesn't mean that you should automatically give money you can't afford or to an activity/charity you do not support.

When you say My 2 kids were at her back do you mean that they were standing behind her?
Did the girl in question and her friends say anything to your DD after you refused to sponsor? Do you think someone might have been unkind to her about it?

GibbonLover · 18/07/2019 21:13

Posted too soon: Is there any chance DD is upset because it's a new area and she wants to fit in and be accepted with all the other kids?

Purpleartichoke · 18/07/2019 21:19

I’ve explained to dd that if money needs to be raised on her behalf, it should be coming from me not the neighbors.

Original poster

Redyoyo · 18/07/2019 21:27

Dd says the girls asked her where she lived and she showed them so was standing behind them, she's embarrassed because i said no. I could afford to give something but its a big estate with lots of kids so where does it end. I certainly wouldn't let my kids go to peoples doors for sponsor money we would only ask friends and family.
I feel a bit guilty now dd is upset about it.

OP posts:

MyOpinionIsValid · 18/07/2019 21:29

My dd9 is raging at me and has been crying for the past half hour.

Is she prone to overreacting so much ?

Saturdaycartoon · 18/07/2019 21:30

I had no idea what it was for..

It's definitely not unreasonable to choose carefully who you sponsor or what causes you support.

But I've never seen a sponsorship card that doesn't say what it's for.

StoneofDestiny · 18/07/2019 21:40

I’d just have said I was sponsoring someone already. Parents sending their kids round line this are a PITA

Original poster

Redyoyo · 18/07/2019 21:45

Dd is 9 yes she is prone to over reacting, I've yet to meet a 9 year old who's not.

OP posts:

shiningstar2 · 18/07/2019 21:53

A few years ago we had a lot of kids living in surrounding streets. Now grown up or moved on. We used to get some of them coming asking for sponsorship from time to time. All legit causes but as a op said ...where to stop. Sometimes if you sponsored one they would tell others and you would end up with several kids knocking at the door also wanting sponsorship. We solved this by sponsoring the first child who knocked for each event. We always said to others 'sorry we only sponsor the first to ask and someone has already been. This worked for us.

NoSauce · 18/07/2019 21:59

What was it for?

BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 18/07/2019 22:19

We moved from a mature estate where it was very rare to get kids knocking to one which is 1/2 kids of primary school age. My kids when making first out making friends used to turn up with the neighbours doing the same... and not being used to it, I didnt realise that they would tell their friends and theyd ALL knock!

I ended up either saying that I didnt have cash in the house, or when the cheeky ones said (I shit you not) 'when will you have money I will come back?' just having to say that Id already sponsored someone.

You have to draw a line somewhere or you end up giving out a fortune and the kids know youre a soft touch.

CalmdownJanet · 18/07/2019 22:28

Why did you not ask what it was for? Why not take the card and ask the child about it? I think, assuming the card looked ligit and you could afford it you could have given her 50p.

I mean in the eyes of an adult your dd is overreacting but come on in the eyes of a 9 year old with her new friends, I see how she might be embarrassed, I think you could have given it.

StoneofDestiny · 18/07/2019 22:46

I don’t like random door knockers wether they be asking for sponsorship, selling Avon, bringing me religion or begging at Halloween!
I’d tell kids I’d already sponsored somebody to keep the peace, give religion sellers short shrift, a polite ‘no’ to Avon and make sure I’m out at the pub at Halloween.

Original poster

Redyoyo · 18/07/2019 22:50

I'll send dd round to the park tomorrow with a couple of pounds to give her and tell her she caught me at a bad time, i probably was a bit harsh saying no.

OP posts:

CacenCrunch · 19/07/2019 09:17

You could have asked what it was for?

AlwaysCheddar · 19/07/2019 09:21

Don’t give in now, it’s enabling your dd to cry until she gets what she wants. Plus you’ll get them every week now asking for money.

Namechangesareus · 19/07/2019 09:22

WIBU not to sign it and give random kids money. - no , yanbu for this part.
But giving in because your 9 yo is tantruming yabu.

OKBobble · 19/07/2019 09:25

This is not friend of your DDs so no don't sponsor her. I woukd be more concerned that your DD9 is not mature enough to be playing out if she can be so easily coerced by a bunch of other kids into doing something (giving out address, trying to get you to hand over cash), are they bullying her?

Flip