How to deal with mess EVERY SINGLE DAY?

[Reallywanttomovenow]

I am a SAHM of 3, ages 6, 4 and 1 (walking and climbing- the worst mess maker on the planet!)
I woke up at half 5 this morning and managed to clean the entire house before the kids went to school- I wanted to start the summer off in a clean house. However, they still have school tomorrow so all of that work this morning (that I did so that I didn't have to waste time today) has gone down the drain and the whole house is worse than before.

My son is a naked pooper so he just leaves his clothes in the bathroom, my baby is a bloody little wrecking ball and my usually wonderful middle child is going through a bleeding angry tantrum phase at the moment. So the house is a tip and I'm still knackered from doing it all earlier.

It hasn't been guest ready since the youngest was born over a year ago! I don't know what to do. So I came on mumsnet.... procrastinating... obviously!

Can anyone stay ontop of it? really?
(and i get help from dp so its extra embarrassing)
and I have kon maried- its still a tip!

What’s making the mess? Toys? General kids stuff?

You need to mentally separate "clean" and "tidy".

Clean - surfaces, beds, kitchen, bathroom are wiped and free from stains marks or food.

Tidy - what it looks like for 2 seconds before the kids open their eyes.

Aim for clean. Tidying with small dc is like herding cats. Actually impossible, and, when achieved, gone in seconds.

Solutions we have - big tub for toys in each room. Chuck stuff in when finished. Laundry basket in the bathroom. All clothes in there when done. Massive ikea blue bags for stuff that needs to go into other rooms. I leave them in the corner of the spare room (on same floor as living space), then Chuck stuff in that needs to be put away into bedrooms etc. Every few days I put them away.

Even the 1 yo can get involved in tidying up. Ime tidying up is taught at nursery and school etc so no reason not to reinforce that at home. Just need toy storage they can easily access e.g. a Kallax type thing or toy boxes.

Likewise clothes, no reason the 6 yo can't put their clothes in a basket.

Naked pooper?? Eh? Get him told he doesn’t leave bathroom unless he’s dressed; be the doesn’t do it at school. Train the kids to help tidy, they can do plenty simple little tasks.

it's a real struggle for me too, I'm not naturally tidy. trying to instill it in my kids though, 5 and nearly 2.

my DH did bathtime the other day and i took them back into the bathroom after bath time and got eldest to tidy up bath toys and both of them to scoop up clothes for the hamper.

even dd2 takes her (plastic) bowl and plate back to the kitchen side.

I think it's about building in 5 mins every hour or so to tidy between activities.

my sister is mega tidy and won't leave for work without cleaning up after breakfast, won't start a new activity without tidying up the one before.

• bet he

Your older two are plenty old enough to be doing some tidying and some age appropriate helping around the house. Get them into the habit now while they are young!

www.webmd.com/parenting/features/chores-for-children

What sort of mess are you talking about?

Messy kitchen and bathroom - dishes piled high, bin overflowing?

Bits of games, blocks, crayons underfoot?
School papers/drawings everywhere?
Boots, shoes, cardigans, jackets everywhere?
Cars/trucks/vehicles/dolls/doll stuff?
Books everywhere?

Writing on walls?
Spilled drinks on couches?
Food/crumbs/wrappers/empty pots or juice boxes everywhere?

You can make your 6 year old pick up his clothes form the floor. If he can poop in school without being naked then he can manage it at home too. Tell him he is a big boy now.

Make the DCs eat and drink only at the table if food and drink messes are an issue.

While I agree that tidying up is futile, if your children are completely inconsiderate mess generators, I would do a tidy up before lunch each day with the 1 yo strapped into his high chair. Get the 6 and 4 yos to help or no lunch. Be firm about help and also cheerful. Don't dwell on the massive mess or who made it. Remark on how nice and tidy the house is as you eat lunch and thank them for their help, so they will become aware of the difference between messy and tidy and feel good about how helpful they are. After lunch, make them help clearing up.

Warning - they will hate you for all of this but standing your ground will pay big dividends in the end.

Insist on a quiet time every afternoon (90 minutes should do it) for the 6 and 4 yos while the baby is napping so you can catch your breath and clean up your kitchen. They could watch tv or read. You could also have a cuppa.

In the quiet time you can spray and wipe the bathroom, clean kitchen surfaces, take out the bin bag, maybe mop a floor or wash a few windows. Let the 6 and 4 yos clean skirting boards with wet wipes.

Let the 6 and 4 yos help with laundry too. They should be able to contribute to about ten minutes of putting away their own clothes, finding matches for socks, figuring out whose underwear is whose.

Big tubs or baskets and scoop up at the end of the day. Sling anything that resembles clutter. It's the only way.

Children in school are able to keep items grouped in their proper boxes - a place for everything and everything in its place. I would get smaller boxes and insist on keeping items separate - playmobile, Lego, wooden blocks, stuffed animals, teething toys, doll clothes, dolls, crayons all in their own place.

The problem with scooping everything up willy nilly is that they can't find what they need for individual games or activities the next day so they empty everything out because they don't have the patience to sift through a big basket or box.

I have 4 (7,6,4,2). My house is always clean and tidy. They play and get 'stuff' out but once they are done it needs to go away. Its definitely tiring putting everything they get out/drop away constantly but the house is always clean and tidying then. That's how I like to be though and appreciate that most people are happy to live in a little mess. I think it's easier to put little things back all the time than leave it for a while and let it build up.

Mine were taught that they can only play with one toy at once so there is no need to get everything out.

I remember taking myDC1 to my friends house when she was 1, and there were only 10 days between so great for playing, and her living room was shocking. Everything out, going from one toy to another without thinking what to do with it.

I was itching to get back to my home.

Can I ask a question to the people whose children tidy up?

I have DCs aged 12, 9, 6 + a baby and the house is always a mess - clothes, drawings, pens, toys, shoes, books...

The problem is, the DCs don't seem to see the mess. If I ask DC12 to tidy up the living room, he will walk around in circles and huff "What do you want me to DO?". I have to point every single item to him (pick up that pair of trainers and put it back on the shelf, pick up your dirty socks and take them to the laundry basket...). So it ends up taking at least as much time as doing it myself.

Did you do something to teach your DCs how to tidy?

@Reallywanttomovenow
You have to tea on them. Be specific. Put pens and paper in their box then put in cupboard etc.

Tidy with them in their rooms and show them how it's done

Make sure you have sufficient storage.

We teach them how to do everything else. Tidying is a skill, you're not just born with it.

Why does the damn phone change who you're posting to??

Apologies. That was to @RoyalChocolat

Thank you Nanny0gg. I will keep on doing the same then. I would have thought that at 12 DS should have grasped the concept of tidying.

Read some of the the threads on here. Many, many adults haven't grasped that concept yet!!

RoyalChocolat the real problem is that your DS's dirty socks and sneakers are in the living room in the first place. I would start with teaching him to put those items where they belong as soon as he takes them off.

LOL at naked pooper! DS went through a phase of doing that too.

My only suggestion is to spend as much of every day as you can outside. If the kids aren't in the house, they can't mess it up.

I have this problem too. Clothes drying, paperwork that is dumped on the table, shoes left out and toys strewn on the floor. The whole downstairs is open plan which makes it worse!

My two year old.has started sitting on the sofa saying 'rest, tired, relax" during tidy up time I'm hoping it's just a phase as his one year old brother at least does some

At my old house the only place to put coats was in a cupboard under the stairs which led to the cellar, my kids couldn't reach the hooks, and I didn't really want them there. The always put their shoes away though. I think you need to make it simple and clear. You come in, your shoes go on the rack, your coat goes on the peg, sunglasses and hats go in the box. Jumpers tend to hang there too, otherwise the kids put them in the washing basket after 30 mins wear!

Mine can't follow 'tidy up' so I do categories -both hang up any hangers on your floor,
once that is done:
DD put books on bookshelf, DS put pens in box,
Once that is done: DD put paper rubbish in bin, DS put craft stuff away in tub
Part of me thinks they should be able to tidy without micromanagement but equally I know they won't so I shall continue to teach them sloooowly.
Ages 5and 7. Love hoovering, sweeping and polishing. Hate tidying. Take after their mum.

My two year old.has started sitting on the sofa saying 'rest, tired, relax" during tidy up time

Will have to try that one myself!