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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say something to this mum re. early weaning?

354 replies

Greywalls12 · 18/07/2019 17:59

Was at a baby class today, when one mum mentioned that she'd started giving her 15 week old baby rice.
No one said anything, but their were quite a few disapproving looks.

AIBU to say it has no nutritional value and she could actually be doing her child harm by weaning before 17 weeks?

Or is that incredibly rude and should stop being miss judgy pants?

I don't actually think she would care as she ignores most guidelines e.g. has baby in own room and puts on front to sleep etc.

OP posts:
starfishmummy · 19/07/2019 19:07

Like others we weaned when the guidelines that we had then said we could - and that's earlier than it is now.
And I dont think anyone thinks baby rice has lots of nutrients do they? Its just to get them used to a different texture. In my day it was mixed with the babys usual milk (BM or formula) so it had nutrients from them anyway.

Buddytheelf85 · 19/07/2019 19:39

Guidelines aren’t law. I don’t understand why some posters on MN act like they are. Does it make you feel like a superior parent?

Everyone makes judgment calls. Personally I haven’t touched any alcohol since finding out I was pregnant, but I know some intelligent and responsible mothers who have consumed alcohol moderately throughout their pregnancies. I personally wouldn’t co-sleep, but I know some intelligent and responsible parents who do.

It’s funny that this mum has mentioned the fact that she’s giving her baby rice AND that she puts her baby to sleep on its front in its own room. She must be quite vocal about her parenting.

Alsohuman · 19/07/2019 19:41

Does something magical happen in a baby’s gut at 26 weeks? The same thing that used to happen at 12 weeks? Obviously not, every baby’s different, they all sit up, crawl, roll over at different ages. They’re all ready to be weaned at different ages too.

Rachel1874 · 19/07/2019 19:50

Don't say anything. She will (hopefully) know people are judging her. She is the mum at the end of the day.

Yabbers · 19/07/2019 20:18

She will (hopefully) know people are judging her.

She will (hopefully) be blissfully unaware and can concentrate her thoughts on something more important.

crispysausagerolls · 19/07/2019 20:32
  1. a paedatrician in my family recommended we started giving DS tastes of purée from 3 months. We ignored that but if you read the preface to popular weaning books eg Ella’s Kitchen, they say to start BEFORE 6 months because AT 6 months if breastfed a baby does not have the iron or protein required and if you start then it takes quite a long time to get them used to food but if you start before they will build up to eating enough by 6 months to make up for the deficit.
  2. you sound so fucking judgemental. SIDS front sleeping is one thing, but weaning is far more subjective. Some Americans don’t give solid food until well past 6 months which is also mental in my opinion but none of my bloody business!
crispysausagerolls · 19/07/2019 20:33

OP I assume you will breastfeed your baby until the age of 2, you know, as the guidelines suggest?

crispysausagerolls · 19/07/2019 20:35

Also the “point” of baby rice is just to give them milk with a spoon basically - to thicken it. To get them used to being fed before they are ready for the acid of fruit of veg purée.

di2004 · 19/07/2019 20:35

No please don’t say anything, it’s none of your business how she feeds her baby.

Ilfie · 19/07/2019 20:37

For god’s sake it’s not a perfect world! Some babies are probably ready for semi solids before others and I’m sure she’s going to have a mother who will monitor how it goes etc..... think new mothers and Mother’s of newborns can be a bit paranoid sometimes!

SoyDora · 19/07/2019 20:38

Also the “point” of baby rice is just to give them milk with a spoon basically - to thicken it. To get them used to being fed before they are ready for the acid of fruit of veg purée

Is this really necessary though? None of mine have had baby rice (didn’t even know it existed to be honest) and have coped perfectly well with fruit and veg being their first foods.

crispysausagerolls · 19/07/2019 20:38

I’m actually finding this hysterical - baby rice doesn’t “need” nutritional value - the nutritional value is in the MILK which you mix it with 😂😂😂

crispysausagerolls · 19/07/2019 20:38

SoyDora

Of course it’s not necessary but there’s nothing wrong with it either!

Ilfie · 19/07/2019 20:38

Ps- wish I’d been a bit more cavalier myself!

SoyDora · 19/07/2019 20:39

No of course, I was just wondering why babies need to get used to having thicker textures before having actual food.

Flooopers · 19/07/2019 20:41

Also, there is a clear double standard here. People talk about early weening as if it’s the gospel truth and is putting babies’ lives at risk, yet those same people will happily encourage a poster to cosleep with her baby even though this does go against SIDS advice.

Yep, yep, yep.

You get so many people on MN who are all hellfire and brimstone about adhering to NHS guidelines....until it comes to something that they want to do such as co-sleeping. then it's 'ignore the NHS, your baby, your rules'.

Nothing against co-sleeping but i wish some people would realise that it shows that their hectoring of others over observing guidelines is total bullshit.

crispysausagerolls · 19/07/2019 20:41

SoyDora

I don’t know - sometimes they like to be fed earlier than others, interested in taking your spoon etc and what you’re eating so it just gets them “into it”. I don’t really believe that these things fill them up more or let them sleep better, I think it’s a myth but i know many people do.

bananasandwicheseveryday · 19/07/2019 20:41

When my DCs were born, late 80's / early 90's, the general advice was to wean at 12 weeks. My hv actually suggested weaning slightly earlier as both my (big at birth) babies wanted more milk than their tummies could hold. HV suggested replacng 1oz of formula with a teaspoon of baby rice , made up with the 'missing' formula. It was made very clear, both on packaging and by hv, NOT to put the rice in the bottle.
As an aside, I was soundly scolded in hospital after dc1 was born, because I placed them on their side to sleep, not their front. By the time dc2 was born, the advice had changed, from front to back sleeping, but dc2 also ended up on their side as they wouldn't sleep on their back!

Regarding maternity leave and allowance, I had to resign as I hadn't worked for my employer for two years at the time I would have started mat leave. I was entitled to the contribution based maternity allowance for around 20 weeks. When I was born in the early 60's, my mum worked as close to her due date as possible and then had to leave as she had no entitlement to maternity leave and pay. Still, at least she didn't have to stop work the day before she married as my grandmother did since her employer refused to amply married women.

Flooopers · 19/07/2019 20:42

A friend of a friend is a consultant immunologist and claims that weaning advice will eventually be changed back to 4 months due to the increase in allergies

Yes have been reading up on this just recently.

crispysausagerolls · 19/07/2019 20:43

flooopers

Cosleeping is exactly as safe as a baby in the Moses basket in the same room...IF (and it’s a big IF), you follow the “safe sleep seven” - breastfeeding, healthy birth weight, mother not obese, not drinking, not smoking, not premature and no loose covers or pillows. I think those are the guides. Of course many people don’t follow them so it’s moot and you are right but it’s a common misconception that if done correctly it’s dangerous.

SoyDora · 19/07/2019 20:46

With regards to the sleeping better, weaning didn’t help any of mine sleep. DD1 didn’t sleep through the night until she was 3 so it certainly made no difference to her at all! DC3 is 6.5 months, has taken to food really well but is actually waking more now as it’s made him start pooing in the night again (he was sleeping through before weaning).

crispysausagerolls · 19/07/2019 20:48

SoyDora

Yes - I have not found that it helps with sleep either! you have a lot more experience than me so interested to hear you agree

celticprincess · 19/07/2019 22:40

Ah well my baby was put to sleep on her front in special care and we struggled when we got home on her back. And she had reflux so was advised to use baby rice to thicken milk after being on gaviscon for a while. Definitely before 17 weeks. Oh and she went in her own room after a few weeks as we couldn’t sleep for her groaning in her sleep which turned out to be a milk allergy.

Pigwig10 · 19/07/2019 22:49

My eldest (13 today) was having solids at 3 1/2 months. He was a very hungry baby, he was born early and only 6lb at birth (my other 2 were 8lb2oz & 9lb1oz for comparison). He was also lactose intolerant and so couldn't be given hungry baby food. The only way to satisfy him was to feed him . He is now a strapping 13 year old, lunatic, sports enthusiast like most other 13 yr old boys. No I'll effects whatsoever. I would leave well alone if I were you.

Aurea · 19/07/2019 22:54

I was weaned at six weeks on the advice of a doctor (I'm a twin born in the 1970s). I turned out fine.

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