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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To consider not going back?

62 replies

Tigger365 · 18/07/2019 17:49

I’ve been off sick for a while (few months).
If I go back, it can only be part time, instead of full due to changing health.
Numbers are immaterial but, if I stay at home, I would receive £1000, but if I go back to work I will receive £1060. I use about £40 in petrol going to and from work.

I love my job, and I really think I need the social side. But my health is not going to get better.

WIBU to consider not going back to work?

OP posts:
thetimekeeper · 18/07/2019 17:57

So, if your health isn't going to get better and you need to go back part time as a result are your health issues a disability (from a legal standpoint)?

In which case, employer should make reasonable adjustments to your role to support you.

You say you think it would be good for you to continue working, so why are you considering not working anymore? Especially if they are prepared to adjust your hours for you?

I don't think it's about cold numbers, I really don't.

Personally, I would try to hold onto the job. It's harder to get back into employment but easier to get the right fit for you from within a job, especially if you have health issues that need accommodating, and if I had an employer who was prepared to make an adjustments for me I would want to hold onto that if I could. I would feel extremely vulnerable to not be working.

But I'm not you.

DanglyWhoreTassels · 18/07/2019 18:02

These are some of the factors I would be weighing up:

Do you think working would more benefit you than it would add a pressure to you?

Is your work something that could impact upon your health even more?

If your current work could negatively impact upon your health then could there be any voluntary work you could do that could offer the social aspect but could remove the 'obligation' part of going out to work if you should get ill again?

Original poster
Tigger365 · 18/07/2019 18:05

The health issues do constitute a disability (several tbh)

I think I want to stay working. But a few people who know the details (family & a close friend) telling me it’s not worth it, that I should just stay on Universal Credit, or go back full time, which isn’t really possible.

My manager is brilliant and is willing to bend over backwards to get me back with all the adjustments I could need.

It’s just that niggle, thought I’d get the opinion of some unbiased people!!

OP posts:
PooWillyBumBum · 18/07/2019 18:06

If you need the social side and structure I would definitely go back. Surely you can always change your mind if it gets too much?

On the other hand, if you quit now and change your mind later, I imagine it’d be much harder to find a job you love that’s part time and that will accommodate after a gap in your CV.

Original poster
Tigger365 · 18/07/2019 18:07

@DanglyWhoreTassels I’m good at my job, it’s not physical, and I love it!!

Going part time with adjustments should remove the impact (tiredness etc)

OP posts:
MitziK · 18/07/2019 18:07

Can you be sure that UC would pay if you resigned? A potential sanction for leaving when your employer is prepared to make adjustments might be something to consider.

Original poster
Tigger365 · 18/07/2019 18:13

My employer have ‘offered’ to dismiss me as I’ve been off so long, should that be the best thing for me

OP posts:
nanbread · 18/07/2019 18:17

What if you're assessed to be fit for work at a later date?

What if UC allowances are cut while cost of living goes up?

What if you really miss work - could you go back at a later date?

What are the pros and cons beyond money?

What scope is there for a pay increase?

isitwhatitis · 18/07/2019 18:20

If you are dismissed then that will make it harder to get a job in future.

IStillMissBlockbuster · 18/07/2019 18:24

You love your job! That’s something special op and they sound accommodating. Going part time is my dream, and it sounds like a great option for you. I would love the extra time, but not too much that I’d be bored out of my mind. Remember you’d be on the same money but probably spending more to entertain yourself.

Original poster
Tigger365 · 18/07/2019 18:26

@nanbread I don’t have answers to much of that really.
Pay rise is once a year, possibly.
If they dismiss me, it would be very difficult to go back to that job.
It’s unlikely that any of my conditions will improve significantly.

The bit I’m stuck on, is do I love my job to essentially work for free. And honestly, it’s a pain, and there are days where I hate it, and people, and the world. But, I do love it. When I first started, I didn’t need the money, but did it anyway. Part time get me outta the house kinda thing.

OP posts:
Original poster
Tigger365 · 18/07/2019 18:27

@IStillMissBlockbuster that’s pretty much my thinking, I just get told I’m an idiot. Stay at home, free money etc etc

OP posts:
SlocombePooter · 18/07/2019 18:32

tigger that is a tricky one. I suppose maybe you could arrange to try the odd day, to see how tiring it actually is? Could you have a phased return? If it doesn't work out, fair enough, at least you will know for sure.

Chloemol · 18/07/2019 18:34

I would go back myself, I wouldn’t want to be at home all day everyday

OliviaBenson · 18/07/2019 18:37

It's not really free money though and there are enough threads on here to show how tough it is to get UC particularly when related to disability and all the horrendous assessments/tribunals that people have had to go through.

I wouldn't rely on benefits where there is an alternative.

underthebridgedowntown · 18/07/2019 18:38

I would definitely continue working! But I need something to occupy myself, I'd be terrible left to my own devices.

On the money side - assuming you have a work pension scheme, it's better for you financially in the long run to be at work too - that's something to tell the people trying to persuade you to go on UC!

HairyDogsInUnusualPlaces · 18/07/2019 18:42

Tigger, i think you've answered your own question when you say you love your job "I do love it. When I first started, I didn’t need the money, but did it anyway".
So financially, you are in a similar position in that the money is neither here nor there.
If your employer is as supportive as you say, can you negotiate a very flexible part time approach, with days at home and unpaid days if your illness flares up? So that you take the pressure of yourself.
If you love the job and doing it won't make your illness worse, then i would give it a go for a few months and see how it pans out. You may find having something else to focus on, gives you a mental break from being aware of your illness. (I don't mean that your illness is all in your mind, i mean that if you are sitting around on a good day, you may have more time to focus on the various elements of the illness, that if you were working, you wouldn't notice so much).

SquirellTamer · 18/07/2019 18:44

OP, I had to give up a job I loved last year. It was a physical job in the emergency services and i have numerous joint problems which will not get better. My employers dismissed me on ill health grounds. I miss my job every day. I can go days only speaking to my DH and DC and I miss being 'useful'. If you can go back to work with supportive employers hold onto it with both hands. I have realised now i am not working that a job is more than just a wage.

DanglyWhoreTassels · 18/07/2019 18:55

I think you should try to go back and keep hold of the job that you love. You could always revisit the decision later down the line.

waitWhatNow · 18/07/2019 18:55

I don't see why it's even an option to give it up! You've listed so many positives! If you give it up then you are potentially dooming your future. Why do that? Why not try with all the adjustments? There is nothing to lose!

BlankTimes · 18/07/2019 19:25

My manager is brilliant and is willing to bend over backwards to get me back with all the adjustments I could need

you are so lucky to have an employer who thinks like that.
I'd go back to work for as long as I could.

Do you already have PIP? If not, it's a disability benefit to help you to be able to work if you can, it's hard to claim and, likely you'd have to go to Tribunal, but a combination of PIP and your employer's great attitude might make the difference for you.

Original poster
Tigger365 · 18/07/2019 19:42

Thank you all so much!! Youve all sort of cemented my thoughts!

I am trying for PIP. I’m waiting for my tribunal date. That shower of shite assessment is a whole other post lol

OP posts:
midgeland · 18/07/2019 19:52

My DH has had a couple of fairly long periods off work due to his health and for want of a better word he goes...a bit strange. I think humans need a purpose, and a job is the easiest way to get that.

If you hated the job and it was going to cost you money to go I'd say get them to dismiss you and consider volunteering. But as it is I don't think it's mad at all to go back part time and see how you feel in 6 months or a year.

Also worth considering that a lot of people seem to have enormous problems "proving" they're disabled enough to receive what they're entitled to, so if you can save yourself some of that stress it's got to be worth a go.

Fontofnoknowledge · 18/07/2019 19:55

I work in DWP. Not on frontline UC though. However I know enough that you will not be 'allowed' just to remain on UC if you are able to do 'some kind of work'.

You will be pushed and harassed to get a job. Yes a part time job if that is all you are assessed-as able to do for medical reasons.

What they won't do -is leave you alone on UC . It will be a constant round of job coach visits and submissions to jobs you are considered 'able' to do. So that you pick up enough money through employment to replace the funds the state are providing whilst you have no work.

It's a tough regime. I am not saying I support it in all circumstances- just the way it is ... So...
on the basis that you will be pressured to get at least a part time job. You are much much better placed to remain in the one you love. Rather than pushed into something someone else chooses for you. (and if it's refused - then money is reduced or removed.

It's a no brainier. Accept the offer if part time. Get all the adjustments required and go back.

Original poster
Tigger365 · 18/07/2019 21:10

@Fontofnoknowledge the UC people say I’m unfit. It’s all very left hand doesn’t know what the right hand is doing with that whole thing

OP posts: