AIBU to moan about refashioning of perineum (tmi) !! I needed somewhere to vent!!

[Dailytalker]

Hey everyone,

I’ll try make this nice an quick. DD is 5 months old and what was rather a difficult birth I had to have an episiotomy. Two infections later and stitches splitting I was left with a nasty looking “gap” if you will (tmi I know).

Well it left me with nasty scar tissue an everything about the whole area was tender even after healing.

Fast forward to now I went private and had sort of had the whole procedure done again to help fix the issue. I didn’t do it for vanity reasons but the doctor said once the old scar tissue is removed and re stitched I should feel no pain once healed.

I only had it done yesterday so very sore and tender and finding it almost impossible to move. DH thinks I’m “over exaggerating” and to sort of get on with it to which I replied let me scalpel your Crown Jewels and then tell me I’m being a drama queen.

I just had to vent as I feel like I shouldn’t be moaning as I have been through it before but this time feels so much more painful and to be honest could do with DH being slightly sympathetic and helping me when needed.

Has anyone else ever had it done? Any tips to relief the pain?! Painkillers are not helping, maybe need stronger? Currently alternating between paracetamol and ibuprofen.

I use ice in a plastic ikea zip bag thing down there.
I also have been sleeping on belly in the hopes to help with comfort!

Your DH needs to be more sympathetic. It's a delicate area. Plus you Aggravate it each time you use the loo.

Get stool softeners. Rubber gloves filled with water frozen fingers will help.

You need proper pain relief
Cocodamol 30/500 or similar

Jeez girl your husband is being an a-hole about the whole thing. Sorry to hear. Hope he treats you better the rest of the time.

No advice. Just hope you feel better soon.

O ps even if you did it for vanity reasons. What's wrong with that.

• even if you would have done it for vanity reasons . There would still have not been anything wrong with that.

I meant to say that ^^

Paracetamol FFS... They should have provided you with some proper, serious pain relief. Ask for some urgently.

Yes, stronger. It’s something that doesn’t happen much in the US, the giving paracetamol and seeing if you’ll cope.

You poor thing that must be agony.

So must being married to your husband.

Arnica tablets might help reduce bruising. Are you allowed to have a bath?

Sitz bath in Epsom salt.
Vaseline on the peri and anus.
Dab don't wipe, use a jug of water and dab dry.
if it's stinging use a jug of water while you pee.

What everyone else has said. Ask him how he'd expect to be supported after a serious groin injury. What on Earth did he think it would be like? Idiot!

Get back to the doc for proper pain relief - at least co codamol 30/500, with a strong NSAID.
Ice the area (gloves with frozen water in the fingers as pp said)
Rest
Pee in the bath/shower with the flow of water aimed at your scar to prevent pain when urinating
Take stool softeners, especially when taking codeine based meds.
leave your asshole husband for being an unsympathetic dick
Hope you feel better very soon

Does your ‘D’H actually know what you have had done? It’s not just skin but layers of muscle, vaginal wall and skin all cut, traumatised and resutured. The end result should be great but right now your tissues are extremely bruised, sore and need lots of rest, analgesia and sympathy.

Agree you need stronger pain relief and a stool softener as codeine is constipating. Ice packs, covered and lie down as much as possible rather than sitting.

He needs a really hard kick up the balls. Give it to him straight and remind him that marital relations will not be resuming until you are feeling much, much better. If then.