T give clothes to someone else

[Idontlikecheesecake]

A but peeved right now. Ive given loads of my DD’s clothes to my friends sister, who has a 4 month old. My DD is 2, but they were born at the same time of year so they will be the right season when she fits into them.

I went round hers and had a cup of tea when she was heavily pregnant, and i gave her 3 bin bags full of clothes, sleeping bags, sleepsuits etc.

I bought her a new outfit and didnt see her for ages, and she said she will be at her parents on a particular day (we were talking the day before) so i said id drop some stuff off then. But when i got there her parents said she changed her mind about going round, she went out with a friend. She hadnt told me. I left the clothes with her parents. She didnt thank me for them, until she tagged me in a picture saying how cute she looked.

I asked her a few weeks ago if she wanted my dd’s baby swing, along with more clothes, some shoes etc. She said yes, and we arranged to meet Monday last week. But she messaged me last minute that she had to cancel as she had to go to gp. She didnt get back to me all afternoon. I cant help but feel she had a better offer (im probably being paranoid so i gave her the benefit of the doubt)

Over a week goes by and she hasnt got back to me, so i messaged her last night and we agreed she’d come round mine at 11 and pick up the stuff have a cup of tea etc. I said id been driving with the stuff in my car all week and i needed it gone, and she said she didn’t realise. She said she was meeting a friend after. She’s still not here and hasn’t responded to my messages.

Is she wasting my time? Is she even interested? Or is she just a new mum and forgetful?

My guess is she feels awkward about accepting the free stuff and doesn’t know how to deal with it effectively. Maybe she doesn’t really want it but doesn’t know how to say no? I only say this because I did the same with my first DC, I didn’t like any of the things I was given but people just kept giving me stuff and I didn’t know how to reject it.

She's probably had enough of the stream of stuff. Just put it on Gumtree, people will bite your hand off & it's way less faff than Ebay, as they're all local & will pick it up. I posted the ad & got rid of previous tenants old stuff same night.

Posted too soon: previous tenant refused to come get bin loads of clothes & kitchen stuff & letting agent wouldn't take them either so I waited 3months then Gumtree'd.

It just feels like she doesn't appreciate my time as well! So frustrating! I can’t be bothered with the faff of ebaying or gum treeing, so I’ll end up giving it to charity if i cant find someone else who wants them

Sounds like you’re dumping everything you don’t want on her?

Just be graceful and accept she doesn’t want more stuff. It does sound a rather overwhelming amount of baby gear you are trying to give her. She may we’ll have plenty already and limited storage.

Donate to a better cause. Charity shops or women’s refuges are good starting points. Also Hvs May know of local schemes where baby equipment is passed on to needy parents.

You have been kind but she’s not interested.

I'd just give it to charity, she's obviously not bothered. If she doesn't want it she could just say she's got enough already or something.

You're not 'dumping' stuff on her,you're going out of your way to help her out.
If she isn't with you and no message within an hour if take it she wasn't coming and send a quick text acknowledging she isn't coming and you're off out and will donate to charity shop.it doesn't have to come across in anything other than a factual way and sign off how you will.
She could easily of said no thanks if she didn't want it so is being a bit rude imho.

I'd not if!

She’s a single parent and she’s said she’s going to struggle when she goes back to work with childcare etc to pay for. I asked her every time if she wanted what I was offering and she always said yes. I even said it’s ok if you don’t want it, but she said it would be helpful

Sell your stuff some people are ungrateful.

Find a local baby bank charity or children’s centre, they’d be very grateful.