to think this woman doesn’t understand the meaning of the word bullying?

[ScaryBunnyPainting]

I was a member of a WhatsApp group for a group for friends (about 20 women), it was quite a useful little group. I didn’t get hugely involved but some of the information was helpful.
Two of the members who had a long standing friendship had a falling out and the group plunged into drama.

I heard from one of the parties involved that the behaviour of the other (the admin of the group) was atrocious but I refused to indulge in gossip. I muted the group and checked in every now and then.

As time went by I got to hear more about the terrible behaviour of the group admin and found her behaviour so distressing I simply removed myself from the group as I wanted no part of it.

I got a text from the admin asking why I had removed myself from the group and I plainly replied “I have enough stress in my life, I don’t want to be involved in drama” and then distanced myself from everyone involved.

Now the admin is telling everyone that I’m an awful bully and my leaving the group is “targeted harassment”. I went into a local independent gift shop yesterday and the owner said “oh I hear you’re involved in the group name drama, huh?”

I’m the least likely person to ever get involved in drama like this and now I’m having my name dragged through the mud locally and the group admin has told people she is thinking of reporting me to my professional body. I know the reporting thing is ridiculous and they’d laugh her out of there but I’m mighty pissed off at being gossiped about and being labelled a bully.

How would you deal with this? I thought I had dealt with it quite well up until now.
I feel like a 12 year old bewildered at the needless drama of the girls in the school year above.

is this group anyhow related to your professional body - work/school/church/neighbourhood related? If no, then the professional body won't give two hoots over your knitting circle or cat lovers community

It is in no way related to my profession, it is location based.

Silence is your friend!

Now the admin is telling everyone that I’m an awful bully and my leaving the group is “targeted harassment”.

That's hilarious - although I appreciate it doesn't feel that way for you right now. Really OP anybody reasonable hearing that "logic" will dismiss the Admin as batshit. Anybody who doesn't isn't worth paying any attention to.

If you hear any more, laugh it off like @Happyspud suggests:
‘oh I left that group ages ago. People were being unkind and I didn’t want to be part of it so I left. Sorry to hear it’s still going on.’

Distressing as it is to be talked about, I would step away from her continual need for drama. Some people need a victim and she's rounding on you now. You can always tell others what has actually happened, I'm sure people know what she is really like.
She's a classic bully, behaving like a nasty teenage girl, turning it all around so that she can engage sympathy and attention. Be glad you don't have to live with her, at least you can step away. It will blow over, people like that expose themselves eventually.

Another vote for completely ignore. It’ll never end otherwise and will be massively disappointing for the drama lover not to get a reaction.
If you have another shopkeeper type encounter then laugh it off with a ‘you shouldn’t believe everything you hear’ type comment. It’ll change the subject, but plant enough of a seed that the situation isn’t as it’s being portrayed to hopefully make it feel less unjust.
I hope it all blows over soon for you.

Thanks everyone, I think I knew what I needed to do but the situation was so arse about tit I was wondering if I’d actually done something wrong.

I’m going to continue to ignore unless she actually goes after my career.

I work for a healthcare regulator- this kind of malicious referral wouldn’t go anywhere but I wouldn’t muddy the waters with a recorded delivery letter. No contact at all is your best bet.

Wtf. This is mental. You've definitely done the right thing. I'd just continue to ignore these insane people. The drama will move onto something else in time

Agree best advice is to ignore and quietly and calmly defend yourself if anyone else raises it.

Only do the letter if actually starts contacting professional bodies or badmouthing you far and wide so it may impact your business. She may be quite thick and not actually realise the damage she can do

Are Jane or Abigail in this group?

Do not send the letter.

If she does report you to your professional body, definitely do not send the letter. She would use it as evidence of a continued campaign by you against her. As it stands, the body will know this is not within their remit, if you then start sending letters it looks like you are trying to silence her and that would not go in your favour.

In the very unlikely event that a complaint was taken seriously, then once it is resolved, that would be the time to consider taking action, and even then you'd need to consider the very high costs in defamation cases.

In summary, continue as you are, do nothing at all.

Gift shop employee is a bored shitstirrer. I wouldn't go back I there.