Dd, struggling with her

[Lostthepost]

Any advice for how to deal with my dd? She’s 10 and is a very strong personality. She is an angel at school but a total nightmare at home. She orders my ds about, he’s 14 and just takes it. Trying to get control of his gaming things. She won’t go to bed, still awake at 1015pm most nights. Refuses to sleep in her own bed, insisting on sleeping in my bed. I’m on my own, ds has ASD, dh works away. I try to give her my time, girly shopping trips, little facials together etc watch her at her clubs etc. She swears at me, tells me I’m ugly and fat. She’s called me a c#nt. I don’t use language like that. I don’t know where she’s getting it from. Tbh, I’m starting to feel a bit scared of her. She’s in puberty but this has been going on for a while, taken her to the gp but no help there. Any ideas where I’m going wrong? I don’t know what to do, feel like a crap parent

Well I'd definitely be telling her that she's not sleeping in my bed after calling me a fat, ugly cunt.
How dare she use that language towards her mother! Where's she even learning language like that? Horrible child.

I think you may have to revert back to treating as a small child. Throws tantrums like one = get treated like one.
There'd be no clubs, no shopping trips and no technology.
School, home, room, dinner, room again.
I say room because she clearly has no respect for her long suffering brother either.
He has a right to calm family home as much as everyone else, while she's jeopardising that for him she's removed from the environment.

Take it right back to basics and only when she earns the above privileges back (and I mean really earns them, not superficially) can she start to participate again.
You really do have to come down hard on this behaviour while she's still young-ish.
Imagine dealing with a mid-teen with the same temper? Something you really want to prevent.

I feel for you OP, I do. But this behaviour is horrific and cannot be tolerated - she has to be stopped. A short, sharp shock maybe? Anything for your family to live in peace without being dominated by a spoilt little brat.
Take Care