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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be grateful for my mother in law

31 replies

sewinginscotland · 17/07/2019 20:56

Just a light hearted one to say that I'm grateful to my mother in law. She's coming round on Saturday to put DS to bed and babysit so we can go to a party. She is great with DS, abides by our wishes and I get on with her very well (better than DM, in fact).

Because there seems to be a lot of MIL hate today, I want to prove that some MILs are good Smile

OP posts:
FinnBalorsAbs · 17/07/2019 21:09

I love these kinds of threads. I'm training to be a yoga teacher and have to do a certain number of hours of teaching practice with a minimum of two students. Because I can only do it while DC are at school finding people is a massive palaver. My MIL has come to every class I've ever taught, and takes me out for lunch and a chat after. She is a lovely woman who bought my husband up on her own, and who does so much to make our lives easier, including looking after the DC loads when my own DM has been ill and I've had to be back and forth to the hospital for her.

She's just the loveliest woman and I'm so lucky she's my MIL. But then she bought up the man who is genuinely the kindest, loveliest man I've ever met, so I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

I did just almost make myself vomit though! ;)

Otherpeoplesteens · 17/07/2019 21:09

I'll join in too. My DM has been dead for over 20 years and while we'd probably bumble along without MIL, she genuinely makes the difference between keeping plates spinning and actually getting the odd afternoon or evening to ourselves. Last week it was to let us go to the theatre for the first time in two years, the week before it was to enable me to do some voluntary work on a school careers day without DW having to take a day off. MIL is great with DD, does exactly as we ask without trying to improve us, and waits to be invited rather than imposing herself on us. All the more impressive considering she was widowed within hours of DD being born.

MIL, I love you.

Snugglepiggy · 17/07/2019 21:15

She is no longer alive but I had a lovely MIL.Kind,helpful,a lovely grandmother, but busy with her own life and not interfering.I still miss her.

WelshMoth · 17/07/2019 21:17

My MIL is nearly 50 years my senior and at a sprightly 94 she is incredible company. I adore her.

Sassypants82 · 17/07/2019 21:17

I loved mine. She was so witty, interesting and kind. She loved a chat abd got so much joy out of her grandchildren, just by being with them. She was never afraid or embarrassed to say how she felt and as a result, when she died three months ago she left behind her so much comfort because she never stopped telling us she loved us. I really miss her and I'm so sad that my kids will grow up without her.

Herocomplex · 17/07/2019 21:21

Mine is amazing, I have so much love and respect for her. We’ve had our ups and downs but I genuinely count my lucky stars she’s in my life. God bless her. (And I let her know as well)

Echobelly · 17/07/2019 21:22

I do hate that I live in the cliche of having a 'difficult' mother-in-law. I hate the cliche, but I don't hate her - she can be really hurtful and stressful, but sometimes also really helpful and sometimes, even though the way she puts it might get my back up, she is right about things and I have stuff to learn from her. She can be oversensitive, and get offended on behalf of other people I know aren't offended (eg, my BIL's wife honestly doesn't expect me to call on her birthday!) but I have learned from her to think a bit more about the impact of my actions on others. She's also taking each of the kids out during the last few days before school starts in September, which is super helpful! And she runs her own business, so it's not like she has nothing else to do.

roisinagusniamh · 17/07/2019 21:25

I absolutely love my MIL
(more than I love my own )

Hearthside · 17/07/2019 21:28

My mil is amazing .I have known her nearly 30yrs and whilst we don't agree on everything we agree to differ 😊.I remember when i had to have major surgery she was just fantastic, sent meals home with DH for us all to save me cooking and will always step in and help if needed. I have a lot of love and respect for my mil .

OofYaBigBugger · 17/07/2019 21:28

My MIL was one of the nicest women i've ever known. Straight down the line, no nonsense sort.
I miss her and our weekly chats. Sad

proudestofmums · 17/07/2019 21:30

My daughter in law’s mother in law is just perfect (smiley face) except that she can’t add emoticons to posts

PeonyTruffle · 17/07/2019 21:33

YANBU

I can't say enough nice things about my MIL, she's the best!

Yogagirl123 · 17/07/2019 21:33

I’ve got a lovely supportive MIL too. Been a great help and confidant to me over the years. Always willing to babysit, I don’t think we would have survived DS2 as a baby without her!

febbb · 17/07/2019 21:33

Me too 😍
She's so lovely and just like my mum! They also get along really well! When we do things together as a family we always lose them both as they go off chatting away. It makes my heart beat harder.
Feel sorry for people who don't have very good in-laws. Some people don't like change/can't seem to let go 😩

Rainbowknickers · 17/07/2019 21:34

My mil is just bloody fabulous

I love worship and adore her so much

She’s always there for me if I need her without pushing herself on me

She’s an amazing mother/granny and my second mother (I don’t speak to mine)

She’s everything I want to be and I hope I live up to being her dil

We get to see her in a fortnight and I’m beyond excited

Lucy-we love you so much

Thank you for being my mil

Mumof1andacat · 17/07/2019 21:34

My dear mil died unexpectedly 2 months before we got married. Me and dh had been together 6 years before we got married. She was looking forward to the wedding very much. She would of been a lovely grandma to our ds who was born 3 years after her death. Ds is mini dh in every way. She was quiet and thoughtful.

Warmhandscoldheart · 17/07/2019 21:35

I adored my ex MIL. She was my rock when I divorced her son, she had my DC once a week for tea and every month babysat overnight so I could have a break. My DC were so lucky to have her as their DGM.
Sadly she passed away last year, I miss her kindness and sense of fun.

BunsOfAnarchy · 17/07/2019 21:38

My MIL was divine. May she rest in peace.

Rest of my ILs are utter dicks (fil is lovely but a massive pushover), and thankfully ill be divorcing dh soon and leaving the toxic lot.

But my MIL will always be loved. Such a wonderful soul, such a laugh. And i actually miss her at times.

RiftGibbon · 17/07/2019 21:40

Mine is lovely too. Supportive, kind, and never oversteps any boundaries (not that we have many). My own DM died 18 years ago, and MIL has never tried to 'be' in her place, but has been close enough for mutual comfort.

Knittedjimmychoos · 17/07/2019 21:41

Mil 'hate' Hmm

Op it's wondeful you have a lovely Mil and I hope that certain posters on here can see this thread.

Of course there are wondeful mils out there. My own dm was one of them.

But when it goes wrong it can be life wrecking. If I had a lovely Mil, just respectful, kind and interested in her son and myself I would cherish and spoil her rotten!
I know many ladies who are mils and they too are wondeful and adored by their dils and family.

Please don't minimise how awful it can be to have an awful Mil. Those of you with even ok mils are very very lucky.
I nearly lost the man I love due to unbearable Mil.

georgialondon · 17/07/2019 21:42

I wish mine was great, or even just ok. Sadly she's not but I'd love it if she was.

ArgyMargy · 17/07/2019 21:42

I loved my MIL who only died recently. She was a brilliant MIL and a lovely grandmother and I miss her.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 17/07/2019 21:42

My MIL is pretty darn good and at least one of her three children is wonderful.

nomushrooms · 17/07/2019 21:42

My MIL is amazing; has DD four days a week while I work full time as a teacher. Follows my wishes and routines to the letter, adores DD and jumps at the chance to have her overnight when we have a meal etc booked with friends. Has done since she was 4 months old.

She’s one of those real old fashioned country bumpkins too; didn’t get a landline until my OH was 18 and paid for it to be installed. Doesn’t drive, but knows everyone in the village so DD has a cracking time going for coffee with the old folks and destroying the living rooms of all MILs friends. She’s going to be the best-mannered toddler ever!

DD loves her, and I can go about my day at work without a care in the world. We try to take the ILs our for lunches, but presents etc to say thank you but MIL won’t hear of it. I just hope she knows how much we appreciate her.

Crunchymum · 17/07/2019 21:47

My MIL is an absolute star.

Practically I couldn't work without her (she has the baby and collects older 2 so I can work 3 days per week) but personally she is a very fair, kind, honest and easy going person. I like her company, I like her attitude, I value her opinions and I would be lost without the support, comfort and reassurance she has given me over the years.

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