First post/long time lurker etc.
My husband is gearing up for a long deployment - leaving late Autumn and returning next Summer.
I am trying to fathom the right thing to do by our daughter. She will be almost 18 months when he goes and 2 when he returns.
We live 6+ hours away from his family, and in all honesty I find his parents anxiety inducing. They are emotionally manipulative and very insecure. MIL is a known fantasist and regularly makes up stories (good and bad). We are civil, but I try and only see them in group settings and have no private contact with them. (Don’t text, don’t talk on the phone etc). I find this best to avoid getting drawn in to an elaborate lie.
I’m trying to work out what do do when my husband is away. He does have a relationship with his family, it has its moments but it is important to him. I don’t want to deprive my daughter of a relationship with her grandparents (and would never use her as any kind of emotional weapon).
That being said, I work upwards of 70 hours a week and am the family breadwinner. I know that being solo with DD and DDog will be enough as well as keeping everything else going for 6 months. I feel I would be calmest and most in control to go low contact with the odd text to the family chat (husband can email and will have sporadic calls).
Is this unreasonable? I want to do best by DD - she sees them every 4/5 months at the moment. But I also want to protect myself during what is always a very tough time.