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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To guide DS7 away from football

17 replies

Musicalstatues · 17/07/2019 18:17

My eldest is 7. He has many many talents but he’s not naturally sporty. He does however enjoy a variety of sports.

He currently does football and judo after school clubs, swimming, and tennis and gymnastics at the weekend. He is RUBBISH at football. I mean really bad. He just kicks the ball randomly, can’t tackle, mainly hovers around the edges. He’s going in to year 3 next year So the club will be yr3 and 4 instead of 1 and 2. The difference between him and the boys who have a bit of talent at football is quite noticeable and as he moves on to playing with older children I think it will become more noticeable still. Don’t get me wrong he’s not the only one who’s not great, but he’s certainly one of the worst! However, he does enjoy it!! And normally I’m all for letting them crack on but I think at 8/9 they’ll be getting to the age where the other boys get annoyed at the weaker players and he will start to become more self conscious about his playing.

He is actually half decent at tennis, but he doesn’t have proper lessons, the session he goes to is just a cheap one in our local park. A space has come up in the tennis after school club for which he was on the waiting list. I’ve said he can choose between that and carrying on with football and after a lot of deliberation he’s said tennis. I’m happy about this but am feeling guilty that I’m pushing him away from football when he himself is quite happy playing.

If he does both clubs that would be 4 afternoons a week after school taken up with activities which seems a lot, especially as my youngest starts reception in sept and I’ll have to get him and then be waiting for ds1 to finish an hour later. But he COULD do both if he wanted......

Sorry that was so long winded but essentially am I wrong at this age to guide him towards something he’s good at (and does enjoy) and away from something he’s not good at but also enjoys?!

OP posts:
LadyMonicaBaddingham · 17/07/2019 18:22

There will be plenty of playground football for him to enjoy (and take far too seriously like all the other boys his age, lol) at school, don't let it worry you.

MyOpinionIsValid · 17/07/2019 18:24

Let him do what he ENJOYS.

anothernotherone · 17/07/2019 18:31

He chose tennis when offered the choice so you haven't guided him away. Therefore it's fine.

Or did you say "You can choose between tennis and football, please choose tennis because you're rubbish at football. Which would you like to do?"

If he he had free choice you've done absolutely nothing to be unreasonable about. You're certainly not unreasonable to say one or the other, not both, given he does judo and gymnastics too! I've got 3 kids and the only get one sports club each, though training is twice per week plus matches for the two footballers.

Your DS does 3 sports clubs even without football! It's enough!

LillithsFamiliar · 17/07/2019 18:31

I'd let him keep going to football until he wants to stop. The boys who are mean at football club are equally mean during playground football.
I had a similar issue with DS and he shifted away from football but I didn't realise how big an issue football would become as he went up the school. The biggest divider for boys in our school is whether they're football boys or not. It doesn't seem to matter how bad they are at playing as long as they play iyswim

BackforGood · 17/07/2019 18:32

If you are happy to take him to so many things, then let him do what he enjoys / wants to do.
I think football is a game that gets played in lots of circumstances (5 a side teams from work etc), at all different skill levels, so the more practice he gets, the better he will get, presumably.
If he does start to not enjoy it, then have the conversation with him then.

Shazzanat · 17/07/2019 18:35

Sounds fine to me. You gave him the choice anyway, doing both might have been too much for the family anyway. I wouldn't worry about it.

anothernotherone · 17/07/2019 18:36

No 4 - judo, swimming, tennis, gymnastics! Bloody hell!

One of mine does a martial art on Sundays, one does football training Mondays, Wednesdays and some Saturdays, one has football training on Tuesdays and Thursdays, there are football matches for one or both footballers most weeks (they have two seasons and play year round) usually on Friday evenings or Sundays.

One sport each and it's still a juggle with much lift sharing!

anothernotherone · 17/07/2019 18:40

One of my footballers is a girl and my non footballer is a boy.

The boy who doesn't go to football training still plays playground and kick about football. I agree it's an easy way in to a social group especially for boys, but one of mine really isn't the team sports type and is far better at martial arts, where he is already often asked to teach "white belts" during training (peer teaching is one of the principles of the Dojo).

TinklyLittleLaugh · 17/07/2019 18:41

Football is quite a social thing for men though, even lots of worklhaces have teams. It’s an easy passport to making friends.

My DS was one of the weaker players in our village team until he was 11 or so. At 13 he’s one of the better players, so kids can and do improve. He now runs rings around kids who were shouting him down a couple of years ago.

I do think most kids shrug off the shouting though. Once off the pitch it tends to be forgotten.

ForalltheSaints · 17/07/2019 18:45

Don't feel guilty, he has chosen tennis.

Though I think he could make a lot of people happy if he joined Manchester United football club when he is an adult!

Musicalstatues · 17/07/2019 18:48

@anothernotherone ha! No, I literally just said that 4 activities after school was a lot and would he prefer to do tennis or football! Obviously I have never said to him that he’s not very good at it and just cheer him on as normal!! I DID say that I thought he was better at tennis than football but that’s all.

OP posts:
icelollycraving · 17/07/2019 18:56

Ds plays a lot of football for different academies etc. If your Ds wants to play, find a team that is inclusive of all skills rather than a club that streams.

Musicalstatues · 17/07/2019 18:58

It is an inclusive club with no streaming, It’s just footiebugs at school so they all play together.

OP posts:
icelollycraving · 17/07/2019 18:59

Also I agree with a pp, I’ve seen several players who have been timid or a bit clueless who have then gone from strength to strength, and some super talented ones who simply lose interest or don’t progress much.

SimplySteveRedux · 17/07/2019 19:04

Howard Webb was RUBBISH at football. He went on to referee a World Cup Final. Let him do what he enjoys. There's various pathways through sport.

Musicalstatues · 19/07/2019 13:55

Yes he also enjoys tennis though! And there’s no way I’m doing 4 lots of after school activities plus stuff at the weekend.

Anyway, we spoke about it again and I made it really clear that it was totally up to him but he could only do 2 out of football, tennis and judo. He’s chosen tennis and judo for this term but we’ve agreed that if he wants to he can swap one of them back to football the next time we get to select clubs.

OP posts:
Knowivedonewrong · 19/07/2019 14:10

My DS was similar. Not a great player on the pitch, but was an outstanding Goalkeeper.
He played from age 7 upto age 16.
He loves football and plays with his DF on an adult team for fun once a week.
Let him do it if he loves it.

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