About neighbour?

[glenthebattleostrich]

I've been getting cross about this all week so I've decided to brave AIBU! I'm going to try to include all the details so I'm not drop feeding!!

We have lived in our house since it was built about 12 years ago. Terraced house, fairly small gardens but big enough if you know what I mean. Single drive and integral garage big enough for a smallish car. Small cul de sac with very limited parking. Most families have 2 cars, we have 1 as I don't drive. I work from from home so am here 80% of the time.

In August we got a puppy, something we've wanted for a long time but spent time finding the right one, good breeder etc. Neighbour was very unhappy as they aren't a dog person apparently. Don't like animals at all. Dog is now 1 year old and is with me all the time, apart from when she is walked by her walker for half an hour in the afternoon. Otherwise I walk her 2-3 times per day. She has free access to the garden the rest of the time but sleeps lots at my feet! She can be a little barky (she's a dog!) but we are very conscious of this and are working with a trainer to maintain good habits. She's never allowed out before 8 (9 on a weekend) or after 8pm.

Last week neighbour sent a white abrasive message wanting the dogs time in the garden restricted because when they work from home her barking is distracting. I said I was working with the dog and that, to be fair, the last few times she was barking badly her child was tormenting her.

Neighbour is now now speaking to me as she didn't want the dog here and I won't keep the dog in whenever she is home. Apparently I'm not being considerate to her needs.

Now what has really made me annoyed is they are the least considerate people alive. They regularly park half a foot over the bottom of our drive, tell workmen that they can use our drive, leave notes to have parcels delivered here, allow their child to use their drum kit for hours at a time on evenings and weekends, regularly drink in the garden being loud until midnight on weekends (directly below my daughter's bedroom). These are examples from the last month by the way, we'd be here all week if I gave a full list.

So was / am I being unreasonable to tell them to go fuck themselves (in a polite way usually reserved for irritating 2 year olds!) I did say when they learned to show some consideration for others then I would think about reciprocating, which didn't go down as well as you'd think!

Would I also be unreasonable to start messaging complaining about their behaviour every single time they they are inconsiderate?

Don't ramp it up. As tempting as it is. Start a neighbour war and you'll never sell

Your neighbour is barking.
Pun intended.

Something along the lines of the dog is being trained and will only bark if provoked. And then offer her the trainers details for their kids.

Neighbour is a bitch (pun intended)

However don’t retaliate to their level

I gather you didn't accept any parcels for them and that you told the builders to move straight away. She's just trying to wind you up. Try not to rise to it as she'll only ramp things up and start making more of a nuisance of herself.

Can’t stand a yappy dog- just because you’ve not cared about their crappy behaviour is irrelevant. If you’d raised the issues and they hadn’t amend their ways then you’d have a point, but this is a separate issue.
How long does the dog bark for?

Take the dog inside if it barks....one of our neighbours lets their happy dog bark for hours on end and it drives me to utter despair. I’m considering getting the council dog warden involved.

I’ve owned several dogs and I took them inside the moment they started to bark.

I love dogs but barking would drive me nuts. Hard to really know if yabu as I know owners who are oblivious to their barking dogs and the misery it causes but neighbour could also be intolerant and u.

I love dogs (have two) but unless you are calling your dog in every time it barks in the garden then I think YABU. Free access while you're not home is a bad idea for all sorts of reasons but not least because you have no idea what nuisance they may be causing for other people.

Of course dogs will bark, but it's your job to stop it as soon as you possibly can and it doesn't sound like you're doing that.

Ignore them and their message. Don't accept their mail.

When you say she is barky, what do you mean? How many times will she be barking in the garden or the house on an average day?

It's two seperate issues really and if her behaviour is annoying you this needs to be discussed and sorted. That's very seperate to a barking dog as one doesn't cancel. Out the other. I have a dog who we have trained from the outset not to bark in the garden and only if someone comes to the door. We also have two neighbours next to us who have two of the the yappiest dogs ever and just leave them outside barking for half an hour at a time and throughout the day and I have to say it's one of the most annoying noises to listen to even as a dog owner.. I wouldn't retaliate as this will get out of hand. You both need to calm down a little and discuss what can be done about all the issues.. Hers and yours. Dogs are hard to train but even as a dog owner I get how annoying it is.

I hate yappy dogs and get fed up being woken up every morning at 06:30 by a neighbours dog barking.
That is my problem, the neighbour has every right to have a dog and if it barks it is behaving as a dog should so I'd never complain.
Your neighbour is being very unreasonable.

Unless your dog is barking continuously (which it sounds like it isn’t) your neighbour is the one being unreasonable. I’d have told your neighbour the dog was barking because their dc was teasing it.

I’d not bother with complaining about everything they do, tit for tat never ends well

allow their child to use their drum kit for hours at a time on evenings and weekends, regularly drink in the garden being loud until midnight on weekends (directly below my daughter's bedroom)

did you complain about that?
any normal human being should know it's not acceptable, but you asking them to be more considerate might have helped.

You can absolutely POLITELY point out the noise that you tolerate from them (rather than complaining about it as such) and state that you expect the same consideration. YANBU.

To answer, the dog barks once or twice. We are training her but she is young and we had to pause training on vets orders as she was on cage rest for 3 months after damaging her knee and needing a couple of surgeries. The only time it's more than once or twice is when her child is teasing her. Even then, I'm out there bringing her in. By barky I mean she barks inside if someone knocks at the door or if she hears a sudden noise. Or if she sees a cat (again something we are working on).

Of course I've brought up the antisocial behaviour and crap parking. Makes no difference, they are utterly oblivious to the fact they are arses! Another example of this. They had a BBQ on a Sunday. Monday morning I find my garden check (I'm a childminder) so the kids could play out in the day and found fag ends, bottles and corks in my garden. They complained that I threw them back over.

And the dog only had access to the garden when I'm home to supervise her.

They sound like arseholes OP

YANBU, they're most likely trying to guilt you into getting rid of your dog. I would have as little to do with them as possible, certainly don't take their parcels in for them anymore. You can't reason with these type of selfish idiots, they're ultimately the ones who will lose out most by pissing off a decent neighbour. Just keep on being a reasonable neighbour and silently appreciate the fact you're a nicer person than them.