To feel sad that DS is starting nursery in September?

[Mozfan]

I have a 9 month old son, who will be 10 and a half months when he starts nursery in September.
I am going back to work three days (I teach in a primary school). He’ll be with me the two days I’m off, with his grandparents on one day and in nursery two days. I think it’s a good balance. But I’m absolutely dreading having to leave him with strangers at the nursery. I’m really worried he’s going to hate it or something is going to happen to him there where I can’t be to watch him and make sure he’s ok.

Both me and his dad work in schools, so he will have us both over the school holidays and weekends. Plus I finish at 3:15, if I can get out quick enough without being collared by a parent, I should be able to collect him by 4pm. I’ll also be dropping him off at 8am in the morning.
I know this all sounds trivial compared to some other parent’s situation, but every time I think about it I get a horrible anxious butterfly feeling in my stomach and a bit of a panic comes over me. I’ve suffered panic attacks in the past so I hope it’s not going to trigger one of those.

This happened to me, I'm sure you will be ok though.
It's only for a couple of days a week, and you'll soon get used to it.

I know that feeling well. I went to go out of the door and ended up coming straight back and banging on the front door. To me it was abnormal to take dc to nursery. I hadn't remembered I had a door key and dh wondered what the hell was the matter.
Long story short I had serious anxiety leaving dc and never did return to work.

@Paramicha See, I know that we can’t afford for me not to return to work as we won’t be able to afford to live. It’s not just a case of luxuries. My OH isn’t on a great wage. He’s not a teacher, only a cover supervisor in a secondary school so the pay is a lot less. I just wish things were different!

I was a bit sad and worried putting dd into nursery at 10 months old. Almost a year later we are having to move her due to relocating and I'm so sad that I'm having to move her out of the nursery as she's so happy and content there. I think the worry now is worse than it will actually feel after the initial settling in period.

I know my love, it's hard. I wasn't suggesting you don't need to work, I think so many families need to salaries.

We were lucky as where we lived we were able to live skint, off the land, with only water as a public service.
it was tough but I just couldn't leave the kids. We had no new clothes for years and grew our own veggies, cut our own lgs for a fire.
I felt so guilty not working but mh just wouldn't allow it.
Even Psychologist or Psychiatric assessment and support didn't work.

two salaries,

They're not strangers for long, Ds has been in nursery 3 days a week since he was 9 months. He's 3.5 now and talks about the staff at nursery as much as he talks about his nana or grandpa. He counts, knows shapes and colours, he is so sociable. Yes he has days where he says he would like to stay at home, but what adult doesn't have those too?!

My son started at 6.5 months. Like you I was terrified and dreading it.
He adores nursery and has from day one! It’s been the best thing for him, and he’s so happy.
I rang them like a lunatic every spare minute the first few days he was there-now I barely give it a second thought. I know he’s well looked after, happy and loved just as much as he would be at home.

My DD started at nursery 3 days per week at 9 months. She settled really well and absolutely loved it. She's 5 now and just finished Reception. She is doing great and is a happy, well-adjusted, confident child. I think nursery is good for them, they love basically playing with their friends all day and it's healthy to form attachments to other adults.

My DS started nursery at 1 year and found it harder to settle as separation anxiety had started. It's best to settle them before that kicks in and everyone is happier all round.

You will miss him but 3 days is a good balance and you will probably adapt much more easily than you think. Good luck!

He will be fine and you will get used to it. My eldest went to nursery from 11 months to 4 years and i used to have to drag her away as she enjoyed it so much.