What would you do

[sotosey]

I'm going to see a grieving friend . Should i take anything with me ? Chocolate ? Or is it offensive ? Thanks

Is there something you know they like? Do they like chocolate, a particular type? Are they wine drinkers? Do they like nice cheese, or flowers, or a plant?

My Mum is a very keen gardener. When Dad died, a number of her friends gave her rose plants, etc.

Grieving for the loss of who?

I’d take something. Probably a sympathy card and flowers depending on what the situation is.

I think it depends who they've lost and how recently.

Not offensive at all.
How about a meal they can just pop in the oven? Flowers are always nice. Chocolate works wonders for boosting emotions. Good luck and well done for going to see your friend. Lots of people stay away.

I also think it depends. Food wouldn’t be offensive though.

Not sure on flowers. I prefer them for happy occasions. When we had a loss a couple of years ago we were drowning in the bloody things, struggling to find vases and couldn’t be arsed to arrange them, then had to watch them die.

Repeating what PP Have said, but food is always a good shout (particularly freezable meals). Sometimes people aren't hungry, but it's good to have something that means they have a good meal ready for them without having to do the cooking.

Chocolate, flowers, whatever it is they might like. It’s just to say you are there and you care and they matter to you. Xx

who did they lose?
I would say food and flowers (but take flowers already in a vase to save them faff).

I think that’s a very thoughtful gesture. I agree food would be a lovely gift particularly if it was a meal that they could put in the microwave to save them cooking one day.

You don't have to take something, but if you can think of something they would like, take it. I wouldn't take flowers, personally, because they are likely to have plenty and also they require some effort from the person.

Going to be with them is the most important thing you can do.

Why would cholocate be offensive? (sometimes I think I must miss social clues)

I personally dont bother with a card if I am visiting personally, cards are for people who dont call or visit.

Your company will be enough.

Can you bake? Sometimes the thought that someone went to the effort to make me biscuits would make me smile!

A card is good.

I do find chocolate or wine a bit weird in the circumstances as both those things feel more like celebratory gifts rather than consolatory.

Flowers or a plant seems appropriate. And if they are the principal deceased then a prepared meal of some sort might be thoughtful on the basis that they have so much going on that they might not have had the time or inclination to shop and cook for themself

Her father :(

A nice plant is always safe or suitable if you're not really sure on a gift choice. A nice orchid?

My partners brother died by suicide last year and w stayed with his mum for a while. Flowers are nice but you have to find vases and faff with them and then they die and you forget to throw them out and urgh.
Food was appreciated, a meal that just goes in the oven or snacks that are good to have in, especially when meals are sporadic and appetites are sometimes off. If they're drinkers, a bottle of wine?
I wouldn't worry about a card if you're visiting in person.

Got her a huge galaxy bar

Obviously you know your friend, but I worry that it might be a bit trivial for a huge loss like that.

by food I meant a dish...saves them having to worry about cooking