To not want my children to take their new toys to their dad's?

[TescoValueUserName]

Ok, I think I know IABU, and I am going to let them take them but I really don't want to!

I left my ex 6 months ago and have been staying with relatives till I got my own place with my 2 children recently. I pretty much left everything in the house when I left apart from cuddly toys and clothes. I have been back for my stuff but haven't broached the subject of the girls toys yet. He is being funny about me having things from the house and is selling it rather than letting me have them. He seems to think that everything in the house that was paid for by him (I was an unmarried SAHM, no lectures please!) belongs to him and I'm entitled to nothing. I am getting legal advice on all this.

My girls haven't had any toys in our new house apart from their cuddly ones so yesterday I went out and bought them some dolls. They love them and now want to take them to their dad's for the 2 nights that they're spending there.

These are the only toys that they have here at the moment and I would rather them stay here, but they obviously want to take them with them.

I will let them as it's not fair on them to be parted from them having only been given them yesterday, but am I being really petty by not really wanting to send them with them?!

I wouldn't let them take them. How do you know he's not just going to keep them at his now?

Ime letting dc take stuff to their df's is a bad idea. My ex sold all of dc's stuff at a car boot sale. Sold the clothes whenever I sent them with anything decent - on ebay. Even sold ds's phone.... They accepted stuff at mine stayed at mine. Wasn't a big deal tbh.
Sooner you tell them that's the rule the better. Tell them to draw the dolls and show df the picture. They can stick it up at his house.

I genuinely thought I was going to get loads of replies telling me that I'm selfish for this so I'm surprised that you're both on my side!

I have said that they can take them this time, they're 6 and 3 and wouldn't understand why they can't and I didn't want to upset them by saying no. I didn't want to bring grown up arguments into it as at least I try to shelter them from all that.

Hopefully the novelty will have worn off a bit by the time they go again and I can get them to keep them here instead.

My step kids rarely take toys between houses. The youngest was 5 when I moved in with their dad and they have always seemed fine about not taking stuff from our place to their mums. We also ensure some clothes (nice ones we have brought) don’t go to their mums house either.

The toys belong to the children. If they want to take them, they should be allowed to take them.
Unless, of course, you have an ex like Yellowweatherwarning.

Encourage them to tuck the dolls into bed when they go out. Tell them it's nap time! I told my dc they couldn't bring the ridiculous amount of tech that exh bought them to my house as I wasn't being responsible for repairs if they got broken.
Think a primary school dc with laptop , ipad, and a phone...
And in time the younger ones too...
They survived leaving them at his..

Got a similar issue. Treated ds to a toy as he got a great report from school. Met his dad in town for handover and ds insisted that he took toy with him as hadn't had hardly any time to play with it. It wasn't returned with him the next day.

I'm not having that happen again. I'd saved for ages to be able to treat him. Going to start keeping things at home.

Things often don’t come back, or are damaged/ruined.
I agree with Yellow- tuck the dolls in for a nap & keep them at your house.

OP, he has kept all their toys for six months. That is mean.

I will be surprised if the new dolls come back with the children.
Let us know.

They'll be back on friday, hopefully with their toys! He's always been ok if something has been forgotten and I ask for it back. Just a bit worried as there's loads of little outfits and accessories that I don't want to get lost.

Thanks everyone, don't feel so mean not wanting them to take them now!

Definitely keep the dolls at your house, the girls aren't old enough to be responsible to bring them back again. They'll be less upset not having them for two nights as opposed to taking them for there and the dolls disappear.

Is there anything you can buy from the pound shop as a distraction for them to take over?

They've already gone, they went this morning. I'll just make sure it comes back again and try to not send them again. I'm so bloody annoyed by the whole situation

I wouldnt let them take them

Yanbu.
On another note, why are you allowing him to sell your belongings?
Get them back!

You wouldn't have been unreasonable. I have similar issues with my exH and the kids toys. They end up carting all their things between houses, rather than keep certain toys for certain houses.

It really grates when I've spent money on, say, expensive Lego and then they take it to their dad's and leave it there - and then complain they have nothing to play with at my house!

Stick to your guns next time OP :)

From experience unfortunately it's usually best to try and keep them at yours. Not even because the ex might keep them, just because the little ones might forget them and then want them at yours. DSC pretty much have two lots of toys! But the ones from here live here.

I went and collected my youngest today and made sure that they were packed before I left. They wouldn't have been if I hadn't done that but I do think it's mainly him being a lazy fucker rather than anything malicious.

They are back there tomorrow night but I'll make sure the toys stay here.

I’m glad you got the dolls (& the children) back safely. Thanks for the update.

Ime exh kept their stuff to entice them back.
I kept it my end to prevent him selling it!! Glad dollies are home safe!
And dc!