To remind you not to worry about a few extra lbs

[skinnylaminnie]

Earlier this year I was the heaviest I've ever been. I'm naturally slim but good old-fashioned eating rubbish and sitting on my bum, had meant I'd started to pile on the pounds. Lot of dinners out, snacking in front of the TV, nice holidays with delicious breakfast buffets. Not a lot of moving around. They were definitely a reflection of the lovely, comfortable, lovely-but-slightly-lazy life I was leading.

For the first time in my life I was definitely carrying some extra weight. I DESPERATELY wanted to lose the weight. I wouldn't throw out my old clothes as I was determined to get back into them although that seemed an impossibility.

A few months into the year I went through a significant personal trauma. It's been unimaginably awful and it still continues now.

With all the stress, I lost a ton of weight. Those lbs I wanted to shift are long gone, along with many more.

The clothes I wanted to slim back into, now hang off of me like old sacks. My face looks all weird and skinny and my boobs have pretty much disappeared.

Now, if you're planning to lose weight because you want to be healthier and more active then you absolutely should.

But if you're lamenting the few extra lbs you've put on because you're content and loving life, by all means lose them, but don't hate the fact you have them.

Can't tell you what I'd give to be back to my old 'few extra lbs' size and have my old life back.

Not looking for sympathy and certainly not a stealth boast....I just strongly feel that other ladies should hear this as I so desperately wanted to lose some weight and now I'd give anything to go back to how I was before!

Thank you for posting, I often have to remind myself that yes I wish i could be thinner but if that's one of the only things I have to worry about I'm not doing too bad.

I hope that you start to feel better soon and that things improve for you in your life, and I'm sorry for whatever trauma you are experiencing now.

Unmumsnetty hugs

Thank you so much for posting this. I need to hear it at the moment.

I'm sorry for what you've been through

Yanbu. I’ve been wanting to shift a couple of stone for maybe a decade. Then in the last few months I’ve developed anxiety that stopped me eating. The 2st is long gone along with another stone. And everyone is telling me I look great, but I FEEL horrific. I’ve never felt so wretched in fact.
I’d take the weight back in a heartbeat to feel normal again.

Huge love to you @skinnylaminnie 🥰🥰

I'm really sick and all that extra weight just disappeared. I'm too thin and guant now. I struggle to eat and I'm still loosing weight. I realised the same thing. Id much rather be back being heavier, healthier and happier me.

Owl - I also kept getting told how great I look. Even people who know what I've been through still seem to want to tell me how jealous they are of my weight loss. I always say 'you want to swap lives?'......

Hugs to all the other ladies going through the same. I wish you all happiness and a hearty appetite.

I was looking at FB photos of me this time several years ago yesterday, and feeling sad about how thin and young I looked. But I was also miserable and in the midst of one of the worst periods of my life. I'm much happier, and a bit fatter, now. Thanks for this. Big love to you all x

I will always remember my Grandmother on her death bed telling me to stop worrying about weight and dieting because it doesn't matter in the end.

She was always dieting and constantly worried about her weight. She was never obese just carrying a few extra Ibs but the worry of "slimming down" was very much always a part of her life. I dread to think how much she would have spent on slimming world in her lifetime.

You're very right OP. I hope your situation gets better soon

aw Skinny this was me 2 years ago (and on going)

i know exactly how you feel :-(

i hope things improve for you x

for you. I had the same, trauma led to severe weight loss, no appetite, hair loss etc. GP sent me for ECG as he said my heart was racing like I was running everywhere, this was due to stress. I looked like a skeleton, horrendous. As the original trauma passed i gradually put the weight back on, was the first time I'd been glad to put weight on. Keep battling on OP, eat little and often, force yourself, temp yourself with tasty treats, you'll get there x

My mum had leukaemia 14 years ago. She’d been moaning about her wobbly bits - she was only a size 12. She nearly starved to death during the treatment- a skin covered skeleton. She’s now fully recovered but none of us worry much about an extra half stone anymore. Insurance in case we end up sick!

I slimmed down also through personal issues. I lost a lot of weight. People said I looked amazing, but I was actually suffering with depression.

As I came through my issues my weight was put all back on and has now creeped back up.

I know I have to lose some, but my 'skinny days' are a horrible daze and I didn't even get to enjoy or appreciate it.

I would rather be a fatty and where I am now.

(((Hug))) hope things get better soon for you 🌷

Normally when I’m ‘stressed’ I gain weight, but last year I went through something very stressful and the weight was falling off me (I was pleased as I’ve plenty to lose). I’m currently low carbing & desperately trying to lose weight (health more then the way it looks) but I wouldn't live through last years trauma/stress again (even if I could) to achieve it. So I’m with you all the way.

It is upsetting to see people who are only carrying a few extra pounds stress themselves out about it & make themselves miserable

There was a thread the other day about the three things you think about every day and so many posters said their weight. Sad.

So true OP. I have been many weights throughout my adult life, from 9 stone at my lightest to 14 stone at my heaviest. The only time my DH has complained was when I was at my thinnest, he said I was 'too bony'! Looking back at those photos, my face looks drawn and my bust had disappeared, and I still fretted about losing weight and every single calorie going in.
The true aim for me is to feel comfortable in my own skin without pigging out and piling on the pounds. I've recently had hypnotherapy to help with this and it was actually all about being kind to myself and letting go of past hang ups and body issues.
The one thing that does irritate me is how quickly people will comment when you've lost weight, oh you've done so well, you're being so good, as if it is a reflection on your character.

I think it was Mariah Carey who purportedly said that she felt sorry for the starving kids in Africa but ‘would love to be as skinny as that’. I’m sure she can’t have actually said it but I remember reading that she had done. But for someone to have made up that quote even just goes to show how warped some people have become in the prizing of thin above all else.

I lost weight and became slim for the first time in my life a few years ago and was amazed by how little difference it actually made to me. I’d always put things on hold ‘until I lose weight’ or imagined things would magically work out if I was slim - that I’d be more confident, more successful, all sorts of things. Actually, I just wore size 10s but found my life very much the same in every other respect. Like the majority of dieters, I put it all back on and more before that long.

I go the other way though - a stressful year with a bout of depression (seasonal I think) made me comfort eat and feel lethargic so I’ve put on weight. I need to lose weight now for my health absolutely but I never put my life on hold now - I’ll wear bikinis and sundresses and enjoy the summer in size 10 or 20 alike.

Yes I hear that OP
I am really sorry you have been through such trauma

I bet it’s really annoying when people say ‘oh you’ve lost weight ‘ too

Sounds awful. Hope you are over the traumatic phase now. Perhaps you will slowly regain a few pounds if you are feeling better now.

thankyou

I was shocked how many people felt entitled to comment when I lost weight without even trying when I was going through a tough time emotionally.I was still eating well but the pounds dropped off, and being naturally quite slim due to a mix of physical job and I suspect genes,it showed pretty quickly in my clothes.Yet somehow I was told to 'get some some meat on my bones ' or 'get some food inside me '.Very few people knew what was actually going on in my personal life and I wondered how many would comment so rudely to someone's face if they had put on a few pounds .I'm now back to normal,if anything a few pounds more.I never weigh myself,my jeans are a good indicator.So I know what you mean OP.

I’m afraid your story doesn’t make the fact I struggle with my weight any easier.

So true OP.
I went through a stressful period and wouldn't wish it on anyone!

@skinnylaminnie - sorry you've had such a rough time. And that's a thoughtful post. My pounds have partly piled on due to a way too comfortable, lazy lifestyle. I should appreciate it while trying to lose weight. I hope life improves for you soon.

OP. I get where you're coming from with the ghastly "oh you look fab" comments when in fact you look ill. I dropped to a size 8 due to two months of undiagnosed giardia. I didn't look great, I looked haggard and gaunt but it made me realise how conditioned women are to think "thin"="good."

(Having said that, post menopausal me genuinely needs to lose another stone - but that's for the sake of my knees/heart/ blood sugar levels, not for my looks.)

I'm deffo with you on this. I had a breakdown when I was 28 which meant I couldn't eat a thing; I went down to 7 stone and a dangerous bmi of 15. All people kept going on about was how amazing I looked??I was dying inside and all they cared about was how skinny I was.
Then again when I was pregnant, I suffered/was hospitalized with hyperemisis and dropped back to that dangerous weight...all people could say was "I wish I was that skinny."

Weight does NOT matter in the grand scheme of things. I hope you're ok, op.