To turn down a "promotion" because I don't care about prestige?

[omafiet]

It's not really a promotion, actually, rather a lateral move but one that carries a certain "prestige". I work in a corporate role, earning around £67k. Essentially 8-5 unless there's a major project on. My colleague, in a peer position, is retiring soon. She supports our executive team on certain regular projects. The work she does isn't much more complicated than mine (in fact much if it is rather administrative in nature) but she works closely with the Exec team and thus her role is more "visible" than mine. I think she earns s little more than me - £75k maybe.

The transition plan was that would take on a certain part of the "Exec facing" role, and I've been shadowing her for two cycles of a particular project.

I hate it. The work is surprisingly mundane and due to the timing of regular meetings, I actually will have a holiday "blackout" period of around 12 weeks a year. Non negotiable. Colleague is single with no children; I am married with 3 kids - that is to say, she has more flexibility to be able to stay late, take holiday without considering school schedules, for example, than I do.

Today I spoke with my boss and explained that after this short period shadowing, the work was not what I expected, and with the scheduling constraints, I didn't feel that I can commit in a way that the job requires. Boss was disappointed but respects my decision (so she says) but kept repeatedly saying that she's surprised that I am willing to let such an opportunity pass; lots of visibility to the Exec; working directly with the Board, etc. (public company).

Thing is, I just don't really care about "prestige" or "visibility". The nature of my role is that I won't really "progress" further than I am - but that's ok! I get to be home by 5:15 to spend time with my family, see my friends, do fun things. But her reaction is making me second-guess mine and I'm wondering if I'm making a mistake.

Does anyone have any advice or "been there, done that" wisdom? Thanks.

To add: colleague is not retiring until April 2020 so no job description has been drawn up for her/my replacement, or anything like that. Knowing my employer, they'll start looking on March 31

I think you’ve done the right thing.
Your bosses want you to take the role because it means a seamless transition for them, with someone who already knows the ropes. Hence the “prestige” label.

But it’s dull, restrictive and the wrong hours for you. So stand your ground.

Life isn't just about work. Your boss would make a different decision but she obviously has different priorities to you.

Yes I have done what you are considering but with a much larger pay differential. Management don't "get" it as there seems to always be the assumption that people want to earn more money and ,'progress' up the food chain. However please bear in mind that there might be repercussions in making your choice though as you will be going against the grain. (Not being considered a team player anymore, for example). You might also end up with some elements of it being added to your current role if they have to reallocate the tasks when colleague retires, depending on your organisation.
Good to show you have given it serious consideration

I think you're doing the right thing. You're really lucky to be earning such good money without having to work ridiculous hours - don't sacrifice the life you have now for very little extra cash after tax

Would a greater pay difference make you want the role? If not then I wouldn't second guess your decision. Work life balance is more important than kissing ass, even if those asses are attached to huge salaries

I think you're making the right choice, spending time with family is more important than more money (if you have enough money)

I’d do the same. Family is more important and what would you be chasing? Prestige that you don’t want, money that you don’t need

You have absolutely done the right thing. Time with family that you'd never get back is so much more important!

What affect does the person doing the role you have been offered have on you?

If they do affect you have a think about what a new person doing that role would have on you.

I don’t blame you at all

It depends on the longer term prospects/how long you would stay in this role for. Is it a good springboard for something else more interesting in a year or two? How will it affect future prospects if you decline this opportunity? Particularly if you are citing personal issues (asopppsed to, say, lack of development etc within the role?)

Just be careful how you phrase it when people ask you why you decided not to go for it. Want to minimise loss of perceived goodwill from the higherups!

Yeah. If it’s not for you it’s not for you.

I have two small kids. I have not applied for various jobs (both internally and externally) on the basis that the hours don’t suit my family set up. I don’t think that’s uncommon

Totally makes sense to me. I've recently taken a lateral move to a calmer slower company in a less 'prestigious' role if you want to call it that, and I'm so much happier. Leave at 5pm daily, don't even check email after work and no more international travel which means our whole house has calmed down. I am always in time to pick up DC, always put them to bed and always there in the morning. Life is too short, leave the prestige role for a grad who is hungry for it.

Is there any flexibility on the holiday limitations etc? If you're keen on the role itself but not on the time requirement, I would make sure you first voice this before turning down the role.

you need a work life balance.
can you negotiate?
how old are your dc?

The visibility part doesn’t sound that great anyway - you’re just tied to the schedules of higher up people for not much gain, but more inconvenience, to you

Some people aren’t suited to management. I’ve had some good awful managers who came up through the ranks. Great at the core job, shit managers. On the other hand I’ve worked with some folk who are shit at the job but good on a managerial level.

If the position isn’t suited to you, YABU not to want it. I was offered a similar role recently but simply said with my family life I couldn’t give the job the attention it deserved. Maybe in a few years when DD is older and less dependent I’d do it. They were fine with that, glad I was honest.

I wouldn’t give up good hours and flexibility for £8k

Thank you so much for the responses. To clarify a couple of things: my kids are 11, 8 and 5. Still very much at the ages where I need, and want, to be around a lot. Unfortunately the role doesn't allow for flexibility in scheduling; the process for meeting prep is set in stone and requires me to be in the office. The role isn't a stepping stone; it's seen as the "peak" as it were.

"Visibility" isn't all its cracked up to be. I've been on teams with company wide visibility and while it has its uses, it also opens you up to company wide criticism.

If there was somewhere to progress to, or a major jump in salary it would be worth considering if the execs would help you progress, but what frequently happens is you do a good job and there's no incentive to help you move while they're happy with your work.

You are going to be criticised for not taking it as it may be seen as a slight on the exec team, and you're ruining their lovely plan for a smooth transition, so they'll have to spend time and effort finding someone else.

People who have worked their way up the ladder sometimes forget that not everyone shares their ambition. I have a slightly similar struggle at the moment in that I'm angling for a role that would be seen as a demotion, and my boss can't understand why I'd want less responsibility. Don't read anything into your boss' reaction - she's just filtering your decision through her own priorities, her own way of thinking, and it doesn't make sense to her. If it makes sense to you, that's all that matters.

If visibility meant a path to greater success, and you were up for it, then it sounds better

This just sounds like doing a job for people who are more likely to be demanding and that’s it

I'm not surprised that you don't want the other role. You'll only see a little over half that extra money after tax and it doesn't sound like the extra money will make much difference to your finances. Plus you're giving up a lot in terms of flexibility and work life balance.

Only way you should consider it would be if the new role is a good stepping stone to something you do want/riches beyond your wildest dreams, or they can make changes to accomodate your need for flexibility, hours and holidays to suit you.

Otherwise they need someone else to fill your colleagues role.