To worry about my friend a lot

[Madridinmymemories]

My closest friend has been with me since primary school. She's one of only three people I can be completely myself around and tell her anything. However our lives have turned out very differently.
I have two children, a partner and a house. I have lots of friends through dc's and just being quite social. She still lives with her parents, works and doesn't go out very much. She's never had a long term relationship. I haven't done anything to deserve this life but she has had pretty bad social anxiety which has affected the jobs she goes for, making friends and forming relationships.
I've introduced her to lots of my friends before, especially to ones who share her interests but her anxiety tends to overwhelm her and mean that the conversation fizzles out and she is still lonely.
We constantly message but I feel awful as a working mum with housework that I'm not able to see her more. She comes over maybe once every two weeks for dinner or we go to the cinema. I feel awful that I can't be with her more, as most nights I know she's home alone and it must feel like everyone around her is living their lives. I'm usually stuck in with the kids but I'm aware that that's still very different to being alone.
Is there a way of helping her to get out there more?

Could you try and explain to your other friends that she has anxiety and see if they could be the ones to keep the conversation strong. This is going to sound mean, but there is not much more you can do. Sorry

You are such a lovely friend to be so considerate. I think if you have a close relationship you can encourage therapy, medication etc. Addressing the underlying problem so she can make more of a life for herself.

The trouble is that sometimes being so close means that it's really hard to talk about the big things. We're so British we don't really talk about our feelings, I'm in a crap relationship and she knows it. She's really unhappy and I know it, but everything goes unsaid.

Maybe she needs to see a professional for some help dealing with her anxiety?

For more immediate solutions, I would suggest joining a running club or something similar ( together if you have the time). There are regular meet-ups so there is always someone to see, talking while running is hard so it doesn’t matter as much if the conversation takes a while to flow, the activity and changing scenery gives you something to talk about. Exercise can also improve confidence. I’m sure other activities would be similar if your friend isn’t into exercise.

@ChessIsASport I would love to but I'm really time poor, as I work 5 days and my partner doesn't get in till 7. She also works nights so there's not loads of times or days we can both do. I'd be scared of committing and then letting her down due to childcare.