Hi,
Not really AIBU just posting for traffic.
I need some advice on my partner's mental health. Bit of back story. We have been together a year and I have two children from a previous relationship who are 6 and 3. My partner is female to male transgender and is suffering from a long term undiagnosed illness which causes him to feel faint and have weakness in his arms and legs and to feel dizzy. He can't work due to this condition and he rarely manages to go out. He occasionally stays at mine or me and the kids will stay at his for the weekend etc. He struggles with his mental health, he has self harmed a lot although recently has stopped this even though the temptation is still there and he would be more than likely to start again any day. He suffers with PTSD from a previous abusive relationship and suffers from anxiety. He is also trying to cope with the struggles of being transgender.
We have a good relationship, he is very open about how he is feeling and expresses to me when he is concerned about his suicidal tendencies or self harm urges. When he stays at mine I feel more at ease because I'm there and I can diffuse the situation should it arise however when he stays at his I do worry a lot about his mental health. He has self harmed at mine before and my kids were home, they didn't see anything but I did explain to him that if he wants to stay at mine then he can't expose my children to things like that. He understood and he does spend more time at his now.
I'm just a bit stuck because he is currently on a waiting list for mental health treatment but this could be months away and I am really struggling. Because he doesn't have a diagnoses yet he is not entitled to many benefits so has to live on £200 a month. I do help him with some money, food shopping etc each month and I am always there as his emotional support because he doesn't want to worry his family. I do feel the whole situation is weighing me down and I am constantly exhausted, I can't sleep properly and I don't know what to do. I don't want to end the relationship because I'm hugely concerned of the outcome but I'm really struggling to cope with it all alone. Part of me is tempted to explain everything to his mum just so someone else but me knows, it's a huge amount of responsibility and I honestly feel more like a carer than I do his partner. I want him to get the help he needs but it's costing me my mental health now and my physical health, I've been so worried and stressed I've lost about 2 stone recently which I didn't need to lose.
Sorry this post is so long, any advice would greatly appreciated.
Thanks in advance x