Hormones used as excuse

[Ribrabrob]

I'll start by saying that I suffer very badly with PMT. Extremely emotional each month for a few days, severe depression (thoughts of suicide), constant crying, anger etc. However I'm fortunate that I only suffer with this for around 3-4 days and the other days I'm fine. Despite experiencing this myself, I can't help but feel hormones are often used as an excuse for extremely volatile behaviour.

I followed a post on Facebook from someone (famous blogger I assume considering how many comments) asking for people's experiences of the way they've behaved when hormonal. Some of the answers are funny/harmless, but a lot of them are cruel - tales of hitting their partners, smashing up other people's belongings etc. (Things I can't help would be taken differently if said by a man - but that's not the topic of this thread).

Aibu to think that hormones are sometimes used as an excuse for poor behaviour? I'll fully admit I have perhaps not been the nicest person during times of PMT and sometimes I'm downright mean, but I always apologise and take full responsibility for my actions and definitely don't laugh them off.

Yanbu. A friend of mine is a monster just before her period.
Normally I try not to react but i ve had a tough few months and she actually made me cry by being utterly vile.
The following day she was all apologies as her period started and she put it down to PMT but this is most months...To be honest I'm sick of it.

I have PMDD and sometimes I can feel totally out of control. There are some days that I can't drive as the impulse to drive my car head first into a tree is just too much. This is caused by my hormones. However I would never laugh it off, it's actually not funny when your hormones cause you to literally lose control. It's quite frankly scary.

Truth is everyone has their moments no one is perfect, being a women is hard, in the moment you feel like going on a rage try an take deep breaths & over time it should be a Calming technique, like you say you take full responsibility for your actions that’s the main thing, but honestly I believe if you try your hardest n put your mind to thinking in the heat of the moment to just take deep breaths & calm down (easier said that done) it will gradually help you, but yeah I do agree some people do use hormones as an excuse when they act like a bitch when it can easily be prevented it’s just plain attitude. I have issues myself with mood swings but Honestly all I do is pause for a min take deep breaths an it really does help. Your not the only one hun

And I feel so bad after lashing out or giving a bit of bad attitude to people, I apologise straight away an just tell them to take no notice of me!! People who know me know I’m not a nasty person so that’s the main thing really

I think it's absolutely a thing. I also believe it can be used as an excuse for underlying problems or used as a stick to beat you with if you are in a poor relationship. If hormonal imbalances are so extreme that they are causing a person to be violent then that needs management and the right support. It's not acceptable to suggest that it's inevitable. I speak as someone who has had these problems and I was having this very conversation today.

Unfortunately nothing we do, including our emotional reactions to things, are in isolation and if there are areas which are causing a problem, then we need to address those.

Put simply, if I was schizophrenic and I caused someone harm as a result that wouldn't be ok and it would be expected that I should've received support. Severe Hormonal imbalances are the same in that respect. Neither we as the women who experience this or the partners/family members/friends etc who are with us during this, should be expected to just put up with it without sone kind of support or investigation into whatever underlying cause there may be.

Hormones are often used as an excuse by the parents of awfully rude teenagers. Yes, a spike in new hormones and an immature impulse control system can cause problems. Nevertheless, if your teen calls you a c*nt because you asked them to put the dishes away then that’s a whole other problem that you’re brushing under the carpet...

Hiding behind 'it's my hormones' or someone else telling you 'it's your hormones' is often failing to acknowledge a deeper problem IME

If your hormones cause you to behave like a complete cunt to someone then YABU to just brush it off with no apology.
If your hormones cause you to behave like a complete cunt on a regular basis then YABVU not to seek help.