To be a bit p***ed off

[Mummycar]

My parents look after my dad age 2 one day a week while I'm at work. They also pick up my 8yo from school on the same day and feed them both dinner... and genuinely, I'm incredibly grateful for this. Here's my AIBU, so far this month my Dad has completely broken (it's now gone to the tip) our travel cot = £80, our beach tent = £35 and today the 2yo's BRAND NEW (bought Sunday) (Clark's!!!) leather shoes soaked so badly, from playing in paddling pool fully clothes that the insole has come completely unstuck and the shoes are now twisted, wrinkled and generally knackered =£38...
I guess I'm asking does the 1 day of free childcare mean that I can't ask them to replace at least the shoes without sounding like an ingrate??

*DD not Dad!!!!

Yup. I assume they do the care at your own house? How about moving it to their house and only sending stuff you are meh about or thats old?

Yes

You can't ask them

Don't leave out/send anything of value.

Keep a pile of old clothes/shoes for purpose.

I think it's pretty ridiculous to let a child play in a paddling pool with shoes on, I'd at least ask him not to do that again, or buy some cheap jelly shoes or similar for outdoor play at home.

The prime sale had a good travel cot on it to replace the broken one

Yes it’s frustrating but they’d damage shoes just as easily at nursery

Time to organise paid childcare?

Is he a bit thick? Who the hell let's a child get into a paddling pool wearing leather shoes?!

I would dress your kids like you were sending them to nursery- in clean but cheap clothing that is already stained and no loss if they get ruined.
I would never ask my parents to replace the items you've suggested.

How did he manage to break the travel cot and beach tent?

@jennajaney brute force!!! He just sort of shoved the travel cot when setting it up and snapped the middle bit. Beach tent - taking it down he yanked the pole out and the stretchy cord in the centre split...

You can't ask them to replace them - the cost of childcare would be much more than these items. Ideally they would offer, but if they don't you will have to suck it up.

I would ask them not to let the dc paddle in shoes as it has ruined an expensive pair.

I would only send the dc in cheap things though from now on.

YANBU to feel frustrated, but YWBU to ask them to pay for replacement items.

I disagree with previous posters- your father should be ashamed of breaking those items! Is he doing this because he is impatient or just doesn't give a damn? What if your children damaged an item of value at their place?

Look on marketplace on Facebook can pick all that stuff for a tenner each second hand

Molly do you mean her df can pick them up for a tenner?
Regardless of free childcare - he is wrecking your belongings!! Is he slapdash with dd also?

Can't ask for the money, but you can certainly have a word asking him to be more careful and exercise more common sense, and perhaps point out how much he's actually trashed this week.

Is your father not embarrassed to keep breaking your expensive items? Mine would be mortified!

It's ridiculous to think that because they're doing you a favour that they can continue to destroy your children's property.

I think you should definitely have a word that he needs to start being careful and not to aggressive with your items.

I would also have just had a word each time the incidents happen e.g. 'look dad that was a really expensive tent/pair of shoes/ etc, can you try and be more careful, I can't afford to keep replacing things'

You don't need to bring in the childcare element into this conversation and tie the things together as that might just cause resentment on his part, you should already be showing/saying how grateful you are in other ways.

My first thought was this is a classic (mainly male) trick of doing a job so badly you won't be asked again

I get that the MN line, is that you should put up and shut up because you are getting free childcare. But I would definitely talk to my dad about it, it's not reasonable to have to replace this many items.

I know you said brunt force with the travel cot but did he know how to set it up correctly? My dad done the same with mines and it was just a mistake because i hadnt showed him how to do it correctly and he thought he was doing it right. No excuse for the shoes though.

If I was doing your free childcare I'd be offering to replace what I'd broken.

I’m surprised he hasn’t offered to replace them .

I don’t agree that just because someone’s doing you a favour they’re beyond all reproach. Yes you allow for things going wrong, but not to this extent.

When I looked after a friend’s kids and accidentally broke a toy, I offered to replace it. She said it was okay, I insisted and we compromised on 50-50 because it wasn’t cheap. I wouldn’t have dreamed of pulling the ‘But I was doing you a favour’ card.

I thought it was the DAUGHTER who broke all the stuff, not the dad?

If it's DD who's broken stuff while in your dad's care, YABU to ask him to replace, although a word about not letting kids fully clothed into the paddling pool might be in order.