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My mum is in the midst of a mental breakdown, and won't acknowledge my pregnancy

1 reply

cheshiregirl86 · 16/07/2019 18:09

My mum has always been a depressive, pessimistic person, and has a personality disorder she refuses treatment on. For the past few years I've battled some chronic health problems as a result of car accident injury, she's shown no interest in the situation at all, it suits me just fine as I'm a positive person and would rather not hear the doom and gloom. This year, by some miracle, I got pregnant naturally, and I'm currently 30 weeks along. We told the grandparents-to be at 11 weeks, his were over excited, mine were fairly nonplussed. For the first two weeks my mum would call me to explain how difficult pregnancy will be, how awful labour is, how much I'll struggle, I won't be able to breastfeed as she couldn't.... etc. She also was trying to coach me into bitching and gossiping about my sister in law with her, which I refused to do, and eventually hung up on her for. She took this badly, and for the past four months she has been sullen, angry, and very very argumentative. She uses my dad as a punching bag and I desperately want to protect him and make this situation better, I've tried everything my dad has suggested, I've let her rant, I've given her arguments, I've apologised, I've tried to move on and be normal.... nothing has worked. She now won't answer my calls or knocks at the door, and ignores my texts. I've found out last week that she's been told she has a pre cancerous growth in her mouth that needs removing, and appears to be very depressed about her own mortality, as the pessimism has sent her straight to the worst case scenario, but having attempted to contact her to show support, im still being frozen out. I'm angry that for almost the whole of my pregnancy she's been horrible to me in a very undeserved way, and I'm torn between being a good daughter and continuing to reach out, or cutting ties and moving on with my life. This has all been so stressful and exhausting, am I a terrible daughter if I just stop trying when I'm now aware she has a health scare?

OP posts:
hazell42 · 16/07/2019 18:33

If she really is having a breakdown its not her fault and not personal

However you have to protect yourself and your child

However much you want to, you to can't reason with crazy and it is crazy to try

Accept that she is not able of part of this

You have you own family now.

Congratulations

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