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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask the children to strip and remake their beds?

67 replies

QuckTheDuck · 16/07/2019 16:39

Aged 9-14.

Someone at work said they still stripped and remade their teens beds and another does it for their child in their early twenties.

I make mine do their own, and have done for a while.

Am I just really harsh? Feeling a bit bad that they have it as one of their chores tbh now :(

OP posts:
Robin2323 · 16/07/2019 18:39

The top reason for arguments with my daughter was getting her to make her bed.
She used to fold the sheet into a 4 folded square and then chuck the duvet over it 😳

Vibiano · 16/07/2019 18:40

My mum was a terrible cook. As a result, my sister and I learned to cook. It went wrong sometimes but you live and learn. I worked as a hotel chamber maid from 14 (tourist town) so I can change a bed and scrub a toilet in a flash!

twoshedsjackson · 16/07/2019 18:40

When I joined the Brownies, so 7 or 8, one of the things we had to do in the run-up to enrolment, was make our own bed. DM showed me what to do, and left me to it. Sometimes, I just pulled the coverlet over the mess so it looked OK...........as DM said later, I had some pretty rough nights until I got better at it, but she chose not to let it bother her. As a teenager, I remember thinking how feeble my cousin was when visiting; she was given nice fresh linen and left to it, and reacted by sulking!
I don't think I ever bothered to accuse my mother of being a heartless slave driver, as I suspect she would have cheerfully agreed! But then, it wasn't wise to admit to boredom either, as she could always fill that gap with a useful chore.......

mbosnz · 16/07/2019 18:42

*@QuckTheDuck
I suspect that my mother and I would get on very well with you and your mother - and have similar war stories!

mbosnz · 16/07/2019 18:44

@twoshedsjackson

That was meant to be directed at you. . .don't quite know what happened there. . .

SmartPlay · 16/07/2019 18:49

@QuckTheDuck If your kids reacted that way, then you probably demand too little from them.

Original poster
QuckTheDuck · 16/07/2019 18:55

@smartplay No, they are fine with it! It started when the enuresis nurse told my then 7 yr old he had to do it!

OP posts:
Original poster
QuckTheDuck · 16/07/2019 18:55

To clarify, it was the way the women I was talking to reacted!

OP posts:
minipie · 16/07/2019 19:03

I’m in favour of children and teenagers being asked to do chores. However making a bed (especially putting a fitted sheet on a heavy mattress) is one of those things that is far easier the taller and stronger you are. I’m quite small and really struggled to make a bed until I was in my mid/late teens.

Redcrayons · 16/07/2019 19:07

Mine do it every week and have been since they were in year 6. And I think Mine are a bit mollycoddled. After this thread and the other one about DCs putting their own clothes away, I’m starting to think the DCs are right and I am a slave driver and the meanest mum Smile

Loftyswops988 · 16/07/2019 19:17

I always had to strip the bed even from the age of about 4, and then when i was older and taller/bigger I would remake it too so maybe around 8! It is definitely something kids need to get used to!

Bobbiepin · 16/07/2019 19:21

never to young to start learning!

This x100! NY dd isn't even 2 yet but she helps me pull the washing out the machine and passes me things to hang on the line. She's rubbish at it but she'll learn!

DanceItOut · 16/07/2019 19:29

DS10 does his. He also sometimes does his own washing.

DD7 does hers but I help.

I used to do everything but that was when I was a stay at home mum doing nothing but housework now that I’m not I made a rota so that everyone who isn’t me has one “chore” per day whether it be washing up or taking the trash out etc which means it adds up to 2-3 less jobs I have to do most days. I still do the majority but it makes such a difference on a Friday for example when it’s pizza and salad for tea and my DS cooks the dinner and DD washes up. I had chores as a child and am perfectly capable of doing them as an adult. My husband never lifted a finger and required years of me showing him how to do things. Already my DS10 cleans better than he does.

NearlySchoolTimeAgain · 16/07/2019 19:46

I was at boarding school at 12 - had to strip and make my own bed there.

DobbyLovesSocks · 17/07/2019 12:18

My 8-year old will strip bed, bring it down and put his sheets/duvet in the wash (I do all the soap etc but only cos he makes a mess) and then he turns it on and helps me hang it out when washed. He also takes rubbish/recycling out. Three of us live in our house (DH, me and DS) and so it's all our responsibility to keep it tidy and do housework

hopelesschildren · 17/07/2019 23:06

DC1 and 2 just don't change their bedsheets (don't seem to mind having dirty bedsheets). but dc3 will do hers.
I don't understand when people say their children do their own washing waht they mean, We have a washing machine which doesn't get full with just mine and DH clothes so wouldn't want dc to wash their clothes in a half empty washing machine.

Pipandmum · 17/07/2019 23:17

My 14 year old daughter has done it on and off for a couple years. But I have to give her the sheets (I mean she doesn’t strip the bed without me telling her to). I’ll give my 15 year old son clean bed linen and tell him to make it up and a week later the clean sheets are still in a pile. Very occasionally he will do it. I refuse to do it for him. Only time I do it is if they’ve been away and I’ll go in make sure their rooms look nice for their return.

Longdistance · 17/07/2019 23:18

My dds are 8 and 9, and they strip their beds. I’ll help them with the rest.

TwistyTop · 18/07/2019 00:02

Oh fgs, yabu at all. It's perfectly fine for kids to make their own bed. It's also fine for them to wash the pots after dinner and to have a part time job after school. People have gone really over the top about these sorts of things.

TwistyTop · 18/07/2019 00:06

*YANBU!

Excited101 · 18/07/2019 00:18

Dd aged 4 strips her bed, why wouldn’t you get a child to do it?!

huuskymam · 18/07/2019 00:21

My kids started changing their own beds when they were about 12/13. But my 9 year old nephew does his own, my own 9 year old is a bit of a disaster at it.

Gatehouse77 · 18/07/2019 00:23

Mine have been doing it since they were about 10 ish. It’s the only job they have. Mostly because I got fed up climbing on bunk beds and high sleepers😂

GeorgiaGirl52 · 18/07/2019 05:42

My son has been doing his bed since age 10. I see it as my responsibility to teach him what he needs to know to take care of himself. That includes basic hygiene and basic housekeeping. He is 16 now. He can do laundry, he can do basic cleaning, and he can shop and follow simple recipes -- cooking chili, mac and cheese, brownies, and pepperoni pizza. Not a balanced diet but I know if something happens to me he won't starve or live in bacterial squalor.

disappearedtothe80s · 18/07/2019 06:10

I generally do my teens, that's because they live in two different houses. It is not our kids fault exh and I divorced so I don't really think its fair they have to do two different beds.

Their step mum makes them do theirs at exh house (because she makes her kids strip their beds) which I totally support, but I don't feel they should have to do my place as well.

They did start stripping their beds just before they left primary though.