Why are everyone else's holidays so much fun?

[tomboytown]

I know you only see the best photos, but everyone is having a good time, I can tell.

I haven't booked anything yet, mainly I think because I just desperately want to have a nice time.
I have to do all these activities with ds, I have to push through anxiety about everything.

I just want to swim and read and eat nice food and some quiet time. Not be begged every day to jump in the icy pool, or to do water sports or get everything ready myself, make every decision
It's just me and ds, DH died.
I feel like it's just all so hard

Can you go somewhere with a kids' club? Activities for your son, down time for you.

Neilson watersports holidays. DS can do watersports with amazing instructors every morning whilst you rest and recharge. Do things together in the afternoon. Nice food. No thinking, planning or cooing or cleaning!

So, so sorry for your loss.

What does DS want to do? How old is he?

Can you sit down with him a list 5 things you each want to do, and then things that you both want to do?

Will you be be able to read and have quiet time for a couple of hours when he is asleep at night? Maybe if you go somewhere hot he will have a siesta / crash out watching TV for a couple of hours in the afternoons?

Holidays can be hard and we put unnecessary pressure on ourselves to have fun. How old is your DC? X

All inclusive with good kids club and activities? Pick a couple of day trips you can do together (usually a sign up at the start of the holiday), then kids club for a couple of days whilst you get some relaxation time.

Can you go with a group of friends with dc of a similar age?
Or a hotel with kids club so you can both get what you want out of a holiday.

Could you afford a cruise? Kids clubs, films to watch, activities to do, lovely places to sit and quietly read - and all food is sorted too. You visit lovely places but the room stays the same and no packing or unpacking.

Would going away with friends who have kids the same age as your DS, and who know what you've both been through, be an option? That might help with the decision-making side, finances,, and have built-in company for your DS and enable you to also get some alone time. Also some adult company for you if / when you wanted it.

I’m so sorry for your loss

Definitely yes Kids Clubs! Neilson, Mark Warner, Club Med... that sort of thing. Or if that’s not within budget are there friends or family with similar age kids you could go away with? It’s easier if the children have each other to play with and would also mean some adult company for you.

In fairness we took some lovely pictures of the kids on holidays, we didn't take any pictures of the day me and dh had a big bust up or when dd had a complete melt down in Berlin and everyone was staring and tutting at us or of us fighting over where to eat because we all were hungry or arguments of where to go and the kids moaning because they were bored. Holidays are a mix of ups and downs don't be fooled by the photos.

He’s 11
The last couple of times I’ve found ones with kids clubs, but they just haven’t been busy enough for them to be able to do something. Which is my fault, a, because I picked v quiet hotels, or b, first school holiday week( private schools off) He’s not going to go there to draw or watch dvds, he needs a game of football or water obstacle course.
A busy kids club means a busy hotel most of the time, I think.
We do come to a compromise, usually me sitting on balcony with book, while he’s inside on iPad or tv, then we’ll do an activity in the afternoon, so I don’t feel so guilty about the iPad. As long as we do one thing a day, I don’t feel like it’s boring for him.
Actually he’d probably say he has a great time. But there’s so much we could be doing, I’m too anxious/worried
I think it’s just my company

Our hols look ace and perfect.

What I don't tell the world is actually we had a huge fight and fall out before getting on that boat down the Dordogne River and my memory will always be tainted by that.

Big tip is try Eurocamp. Lots of other families, very outdoorsy, pools, riding etc. We always meet life long friends there and the kids club is free😊😜
I'm too sweaty and knackered to entertain my child every minute of the day. Other people's kids definitely help. They entertain themselves hehe

People only put the fun photos on social media. Nobody puts pics on of the kids scrapping, or the cockroach terrorising their hotel room, or their attack of the trots.
As others have suggested, a cruise might be a good option, or a hotel with loads of age appropriate activities for your ds. There are probably even holiday companies that specialise in holidays for single parent families so you'd get to meet others in the same situation. Have a quick google.

Cruises are always busy too even out of the normal school holidays so he should have plenty to keep him busy.

There’s no-one I’d really like to go away with other than family, but none of my family can do anything this year. We’ve had great holidays before. But new business, new jobs, dementia care, dogs to get looked after means we can’t do anything this year. Ds gets on great with his cousins, I could take them somewhere in the UK, a caravan would do. But then it’s still me , the only grown up.
I’ve never looked at Neilson before, will check it out.
We’re going to see MIL for a week, but even she doesn’t seem that keen to see us. Her health’s not great though.

Could you take a friend for your son? I am
taking a friend for my only child this year.

Pp' s are correct that you only see that good bits. We have plenty of irritating hot and bothered times on ours.

I would have a chat with your ds before hand.
It basically soo like you want very different things and you BOTH need to compromise.
I would suggest a couple of days where you make the effort to do something he enjoys.
A couple of days doing something you enjoy
And the rest doing doing a half way activity.

I have a similar issue with my dcs re what to do and it’s working best when we compromise like this.

Mark Warner and Neilson have excellent children’s clubs, look on their websites. Your dc will be sailing, windsurfing, paddle boarding, swimming lots etc. I don’t think your son will be bored and colouring inside. We love them both!

I get where you're coming from. My DS is 12 and we've holidayed alone since he was born. It's a tricky age at the moment and to be honest I feel like he'd ether be with his friends than me. And I'd rather be on a sun lounger with a cocktail by the pool.

You already know part of the answer, that the Facebook photos tell a tiny part of the story.

Depending on your budget Tui magic life hotels are amazing. All inclusive great food lots of pools and they even have an app for all the activities as well as brilliant kids clubs that keep them busy doing lots of different things all day. Im like you I want to read and chill and have quiet time and I couldn’t recommend them enough

Could he go on a PGL holiday? I did one at about his age & loved it. You then get a week at home to relax or go somewhere on your own?!