To be fed up of lateness

[QueenOfIce]

Nothing irritates me more than other people's tardiness, obviously if there's an unavoidable reason then there's no issue but being late for reasons such as "oh I forgot the time" a weak "sorry, so and so turned up and wouldn't leave" or no acknowledgement at all.

A very good friend of mine is consistently late and even though I've told her how it makes me feel and I now reply to her "See you at 8.30" with "ok see you at 9" she is still late 9 times out of 10. I love her to bits she is lovely in so many ways however the lateness really gets on my pip.

My time is as valuable and I feel that people who are always late have no respect for another's time or feel their time is more important.

Why can't some people get their shit together plan and be where they say they will on time?

Well said. Can't stand late comers

Being late and making someone else wait for you/stealing their time is one of the most basic ways of telling that someone that you think your time (and by extension, you) are more important than someone else.

Once in a while, things happen, traffic jams, accidents, unforeseen occurrences etc but nine times out of ten means she is playing a power game with you.

Accepting this and allowing her to get away with it signals to her that she is right.

Is her time more important than yours?

No it's not and I have said this to her, it doesn't matter if she's coming to me, me to her going separately she is always late. It drives me absolutely bonkers.

I agree, it's rude.
You can try to get to see sense by being late yourself - later than she is! Make HER wait, maybe she gets it then.

There are people who are always late on principle and there is just no excuse for that.

YANBU - lateness drives me mad. My husband is terrible for waiting until the very last moment until he gets ready to leave which then means he is late.

I generally tell him we need to leave earlier so that we are on time. So, for instance, if we should leave 12pm I will say we need to leave at 11.30am.

Personally I couldn't care less with 10/15 mins leeway for a catchup, but then my friends and I will tend to meet at each other's houses for 6ish and it's a given that anywhere between 6 and 630 is fine.

For fixed things like meals or events then it's poor form.

I'm not sure it's a power play though. Thats reading a bit into it. Some people are just disorganised.

Can't bear it. Why do people leave the house after the time they're meant to have met, I don't get how you can be that late.

The fact that people are very capable of arriving to their work on time yet late for all social occasions makes it worse.

Yes yes yes!!!
I cannot fucking stand lateness!!!
Its clearly a big ‘fuck you my time is so more important than yours’

QueenOfIce
It depends. The couple I know who are late regularly to things work jobs that have a defined start time, but professional norm is to be in earlier or they have flexible time (think teacher who would normally be in at 730/aim to, but actually arrives at 745/8am or someone who has flexible starts/ends so if they intend to get there for 9 but they get in at 930 and it isn't a problem).

They're really nice but so so disorganised. We don't rush to be on time if we make plans to meet them.

My DH is like this. Late going to work, late coming home, always late. It really stresses me out. I'm naturally disorganised & used to be embarrassed at my inability to be on time for things. I now work really hard to make sure I know exactly how long a journey will take me & what time I need to leave. Then I plan to leave at least 10 minutes before I need to be there. Usually I only just leave on time but if I'm early I can sit in the car for a few minutes.

It drives me up the wall when the whole family is going out somewhere & I'm getting myself & the DC ready, rushing around shouting usually, & DH suddenly remembers there's a wash to put on, or he wants to get the washing up done before we go... It's always something that needs doing but rarely something that couldn't wait until we're back, given that there isn't time to do it before we go!

He manages to get to work meetings on time though. I guess he's willing to put in the effort for work but doesn't mind if I'm crying with frustration because we're late yet again. He's just text to say he'll be home in half an hour... 25 minutes after he told me he'd be leaving. We've been married long enough that I've given up even starting dinner until he's on his way - no way of knowing whether he'll be home at the right time otherwise!

Lateness is rude.

Totally agree with you, OP - though the "I genuinely can't help it" posts will start soon. Nobody with any sense minds occasional, unavoidable lateness, but doing it constantly is just rude; as a PP said, it's the ultimate "you don't matter"

And isn't it odd how most manage to be on time when it matters to them ...

Yes puzzle no problem arriving on time when it's for themselves. I am not interested in the 'I can't help it' no such word as can't as far as I'm concerned it's won't. If you know you're always late plan better!

Puzzledandpissedoff
90% of the time people can help it.

I've just stopped getting irritated by it unless it's a fixed event that's booked on the grounds of I can't change other people's actions.

I tend to take my kindle with me and sit down with a drink. If they haven't arrived (or sent a text) by the time I finish my drink then I'll leave and do something else. I cannot be bothered with that sort of rudeness.