To think medicrity is actually beautiful?

[TigerLilyMasie]

You usually see the word 'mediocrity' used in a negative way. Google quotes about it hardly ever view it as a good thing.

When I younger I had all sorts of dreams and ambitions and dreaded ending up with a 'mediocre' life, but most of that searching, yearning and chasing either ended in dust or disaster or just didn't bring the satisfaction I thought it would.

In recent years there have been a few health scares in the family, times when we have had to rush out the hospital or the care home in an emergency. There have also been a fair few deaths in the family.

As we are rushing to emergency I always find myself looking out of the car window at everyone going past, just doing normal, everyday things, having an average day, and really wishing that was me right now.

When there have been long-standing problems in life that have turned life upside down and made it tougher and more frightening than normal, it has always felt like a gift when the panic is over and 'normal' life has ensued.

When I look back on my life, the fondest memories are not the big, bold, flashy parts of my life but the everyday simple like sitting in the kitchen with my aunty and watching her bake cakes, or reading under a tree or taking the kids to café for fish and chips. Normal things.

When I dreaded being mediocre I was never satisfied with where I was or what I was doing because it was never enough. Now I see how cruel and unpredictably life can be I am happy to have a 'boring' night in front of the TV with DH in my pyjamas and not itching to be somewhere else.

Is my perspective just my reaction to sudden change a trauma? A way of curling up in my shell and playing safe? Have I gotten old and given up and become pathetically grateful? lol! Or is this me learning a bit of wisdom.

What do you think?

Alpacathebag

"Boden dressed children" lol!!

If this is wisdom, you found it a lot sooner than I did!!

After living a life of excess which resulted in a traumatic experience, my ordinary mediocre life is pure bliss.

There is a blog called A Life In Progress, with a lovely article called What if all I want is a mediocre life. (Sorry can't figure out how to link it on my phone but comes up on a quick search)
It puts your sentiments (and mine) into words perfectly.
I love my mediocre life ♥️

mediocrity
noun UK /ˌmiː.diˈɒk.rə.ti/ US /ˌmiː.diˈɑː.krə.t̬i/

C2 [ U ] the quality of being not very good:
A goal just before half-time rescued the match from mediocrity.

[ C ] a person that is not very good at something or not very good at anything in particular, or something that is not very good:
These people are just mediocrities.

I agree with you about the value of an ordinary life though.

To be fair I think I agree. I still have aspirations from my younger (more naive) life that I still work towards. But with nowhere near the same all-encompassing drive/obsession.

It’s an odd aspiration mind you (I’ve wanted to publish my own comic book series since I was a 9 year old and it sticks with me to this day!) I still draw when I can but have twin Toddlers now, they are my focus and I love the moments where it’s me, them and their Dad (DH) just relaxing (well trying to whilst the twins run rampant 😂).

I never really experienced Family stability growing up, nor did DH. So our focuses and drives shifted quite a bit when we became parents.

I will always work hard to achieve my dreams, but at my own pace, nobody else’s. If that makes me mediocre - then I’m happy to be 😁

I can't see the word "mediocrity" without thinking of the film Amadeus and the character of Salieri - here

I think with celebrity culture being the way it is these days, we all seem to compare ourselves with people that are deemed to live super-exciting or 'successful' lives, whether that be Lord Sugar, Meghan Markle, David Beckham or Miley Cyrus.

However, just because you are not them doesn't mean you are mediocre, it means you are different. Every single one of us will live an exceptional life because no one else will live the same life as us ever.

We are all unique and bring our own set of talents, values, skills, strengths and weaknesses to the great party of life. Just because we are not wealthy (which seems to define success these days) or famous, doesn't mean we are mediocre!

Having seen some of the people I was once closest to behave in truly appalling and ruthless ways in order to get the life they think they deserve - and to not be happy with what they've achieved, but still on the hunt for more, bigger, better, etc. I'd say that consistently striving can sometimes be a bad thing.

But I also think it's great to keep aiming for goals and to push yourself.

For me, the balance is where it's at. To have ambitions and dreams and work hard towards achieving them - but not at the expense of enjoying the daily ins and outs of life (and particularly not to place so much importance on these drives that you fuck over other people in the process!)

When you can really appreciate the every day, and find joy and satisfaction in it, it makes working towards those goals much easier. It also brings a much greater peace and security in your life - because you're not always trying to protect what you've achieved and reach for more. That's not really a place that's fun to be - it means you're insecure about losing what you have and also not satisfied with it and always on the hunt to go one bigger and better.

I made the decision a while back to be time rich which has led to me being money poor. But if you have time to enjoy life, it more than makes up for not having the money to do expensive things.

We all find our own 'ordinary'. And it can be very fulfilling.

The word mediocrity makes me think of this

It's good to find joy in simple things but if I won the lottery I'd also enjoy a life that was not mediocre.

lazylinguist very rarely do two words have identical meanings. Mediocre has negative connotations and implies second rate and unsatisfactory in a way ordinary does not.

I have always thought that less ambitious, and less intelligent people often seem the happiest (not implying these things come together as you can be intelligent and unambitious and vice versa); many people are happy plodding along in undemanding jobs with basic housing and social life whereas others spend ages bemoaning the fact that they cant afford a flash car/house/holiday etc or will never be top of the tree job wise.

An ordinary meal and a mediocre meal are very different things.

An ordinary meal could be a delicious and we'll prepared but everyday one, such as shepherds pie or spaghetti Bolognese. A mediocre meal wouldn't be very good at all - edible but perhaps the mince was boiled for 20 minutes in the juice of a tin of chopped tomatoes and barely seasoned before serving, instead of browned before being baked in the oven slowly in a well seasoned sauce...

lazylinguist very rarely do two words have identical meanings

I'm aware of that, what with being a linguist and all. That's why context is important, and the OP made the context very clear.

I think with celebrity culture being the way it is these days, we all seem to compare ourselves with people that are deemed to live super-exciting or 'successful' lives

What, and followed everywhere by the paps? Having to suck your tummy in all the time in case you're spotted? Not being able to go and buy a huge ice cream on a hot day because there will be media comment?

Not that sort of a life for me.

What lazylinguist said.
At 48 I have realised that the ‘middle way’ is the most reliable path to contentment.

I agree, we are brought up to keep striving for more and more, thinking we constantly need to be moving forward, achieving more, earning more, being the star of the show.

Actually, I think as a human race we have lost the ability to value stillness and contentment

This sounds like mindfulness, and is no bad thing. I think living in the moment and appreciating the small things can be really good for your mental health.

Happy medium, ultimately. I had to be ambitious in order to get where I am, but now I’m taking my foot off the gas a bit. I worked very hard to get into a great uni, met DH there, we went on start successful careers - but now we’ve had DS&DD we’ve slowed down a little so we can enjoy it. It was a big adjustment going from full-time work to SAHM but you’re right, OP, I find joy in the little things. It’s peaceful. Maybe I’m getting old!

To clarify I do still have aspirations and goals - many of them!

Things like write a book and get it published, learn to play the violin, play tennis better, learn to draw better, learn to paint, adopt more cats, learn Italian, get a degree, pass my driving test, learn more about many different topics such as history, cosmology and animal life, spend some time travelling round UK in camper van, go blonde!, become more confident speaking in pubic etc.

Some I am in the middle of achieving, some I am in the early stages, some, it's not the right time yet and some I'm still to get started on.

The thing is, unlike some goals I had when I was younger, they really are 'my' goals, things I am genuinely naturally interested and excited about. I am not striving for some imagined utopia to get out of my current 'misery' and limited circumstances or trying to prove something to someone else.

I WILL die with some of my 'music' still inside because I have a lot of music inside me but I will have expressed/played a lot of it and that makes me happy.

LOL!!

public NOT pubic!!

Not everyone can be 'extraordinary', that's like saying that everyone is 'average'. I recall some politician saying, Blair maybe, that he wanted 75% to achieve above average results, even my Maths class saw the stupidity in that, however you define 'average'.

I love this thread.

Well, IKEA celebrate 'the wonderful everyday' !

Well peacefulness is a wonderful thing.
And the deepest moments of peace can be found in the simple rituals and routines of the everyday, rather than in grand events. We’re all familiar with the notion of life’s simple pleasures- the smell of freshly cut grass, fish and chips on the beach and so on.
Anyway so many things today are disappointing. They hardly live up to the carefully edited, curated, filtered, photoshopped images that flash on our Instagram feeds.
In a time of deep stress once I noticed a woman on her lunch break, eating chips in a greasy spoon cafe at the corner of the indoor market. She was reading a jilly Cooper and her nails were hot pink.
I remember just thinking.... in that moment there was nothing else in the world I’d rather have been doing than eating chips and reading Jilly Cooper with pink nails
I recognise the feeling more now . I enjoy these moments more for having a time where I thought I’d never feel that peace again. It’s nice.
I love the mediocre, or the ordinary or whatever anyone wants to call it.