Sudden stop in contact

[Riddlemethisplease]

Is it odd that a friend who normally texts every single day just suddenly stops contact personally and then starts to text into our defunct/ rarely used work group chat?
For context, we work together. I am married. We’re friends for year, more so than colleagues .He is in a new relationship . He is a serial texter , not only to me but has loads of friends both male and female .
Our texts are just about current affairs, funny’s etc .
He did used to cross the line but we spoke and he stopped . When I’ve asked him to pull Back from the texting in the past, he did for a time but would ramp up the group chat texts . Any idea what’s going on here . Wouldn’t bother me hugely except I must work with him each day when I get back from an overseas trip next month . Any advice please? Just to add his girlfriend isn’t very happy with the amount of contact that we have had especially on social
Media .thanks

Friends for years I should say .

Yes.

Well you know why he has stopped messaging you then! His girlfriend isn’t happy with it, he’s in a new relationship and obviously wanting to impress her so he’s trying to keep her happy. Perfectly understandable really.

You're married, he's in a new relationship. Maybe he used to hope that there would be something more between you, but now realises there won't/can't be.

I'd say he is moving on with his life and you should just be your normal self when working with him. Don't try to contact him out of work as he is obviously concentrating on his new relationship now.

Thank you. I don’t ever initiate conversation and at times I have felt suffocated by him which is why I couldn’t understand the sudden cease in contact personally but continued into a defunct group chat.
He is with his girlfriend six months and it is very relaxed. In fact there is a thread on the relationships board at the moment about a girl who is wondering why the relationships is always on his terms and I genuinely believe that his girlfriend could be the poster. It is eerily accurate . He isn’t taking the relationship ship very seriously but she is in love with him. For reasons that are outing , I can’t elaborate, sufffice to say that many would say he treats he terribly but he doesn’t really , he just wants things on his terms and she obliges .
He has been sexually and personally inappropriate in the past but I swiftly made sure that he did , but he tries to push boundaries all the time .
He knows that I am very happily married and adore my family. He knows that I see him as a brother/ friend and am not attracted to him so I don’t imagine that he ever thought there could be anything else .
I did think that she may have insisted on him cutting personal contact but the truth is, I don’t think he respects her enough to do that. I miss our friendship and didn’t know how to react when we work together again when I get back .

To be totally frank after your update, I think you need to stop thinking about this guy and how he treats his girlfriend and his relationship issues and your friendship with him and just move on and concentrate on your husband and family. People come and go from our lives and it's just life.

When you work together again, just be friendly and normal and don't get involved in any of his drama or over think anything he does.

Good luck!

Thanks @Pinktinker. You’re right. Was just confused as to why it was so sudden. I was second guessing myself in case I did something wrong

Sorry I meant @ trikit

Forget him, he isn't that important.

Yes perhaps
You are correct although I did enjoy the friendship but I do see that I was possibly a time filler for him . To go from full on conversation to inane group chat into a group that doesn’t respond well s quite the jump and I feel guulty for not responding but equally I do not want to be the only one responding . I expect that he is only communicating through group chat as he feels it isn’t so directly personal ?

He is in a new relationship
He did used to cross the line but we spoke and he stopped.
his girlfriend isn’t very happy with the amount of contact that we have had especially on social Media

It's pretty simple isn't it, OP?
He fancies/fancied you, you told him to back off, he complied "for a time" ... but now that he has a new g/f he doesn't feel the need to keep communicating with you.

It's a bit shitty, but focus on your own life & move on. Don't waste any time trying to work him out.

Sounds to me you just like his attention, a bit more than a married person should imo. So I don’t think it’s a bad thing contact has dropped off.

He is in a fairly new relationship quite frankly texting you every day was a bit weird anyway. So I think cutting the contact a bit in favour of the new relationship is perfectly understandable.

Apologies OP, but I always think in these scenarios that there are LOADS of people out there to be friends with. So why worry about whether or not you're still friends with this guy, when you know he has a crush on you? Why worry about contact dropping?

I would be relieved that I could maintain an amicable work relationship without the complication of their attraction, not wondering where the texts went!

As I say. Loads of people out there to be friends with who don't have a crush on you/have never had a crush on you.

Don't you think you're a bit over invested in a relationship with someone who - despite all your excuses for him - has a track record of consistently engaging in unpleasant and disrespectful behaviour towards other people, including you?

He doesn't respect his partner, he doesn't respect women, he doesn't respect you, he doesn't treat his girlfriend well, he's domineering, he's sexually inappropriate... But he's not a bad guy? Okay then.

He seems like someone who gets off on seeing you jump for his attention when he withdraws it.

Thanks for your opinions. He wasn’t just another friend. I saw him as a close friend. I respected that he may have had feelings at one stage but I shot that down straight away in the hope of keeping a good honest friendship.and it was perfectly amicable after that . It is out of character after years of regular texting and contact to suddenly stop so abruptly . Of course it is entirely natural to reduce contact when he met his girlfriend , but to just one day stop hurt me. It seems he is trying to keep communication open by sending generic texts into an old colleague group, communication that he has only recently started . Perhaps it is to keep his toe in the water of friendship at work and if this is the case, then I am happy with that . It does hurt a little though . I did value his friendship as much as two or three other close friendships in my life. Thanks

Are you hoping that his girlfriend will see this and put two and two together?

Why on earth would I hope for that outcome???? That’s a strange assumption to make