to go abroad and leave my mum?

[imnotcooking]

we have already been abroad 3 weeks ago but we usually do a uk holiday as well we normally go with haven. But I went to have a look this morning and we are looking at 700-1000 for a week.

I said to my mum were better of going abroad for a week as we have a voucher from Thomas cook. she said she doesn't want to go abroad.

I have looked at private caravans but then she doesn't want to stay there as their isn't any entertainment.

I just cant justify spending a grand to stay in a caravan for the week as beautiful as devon is.

AIBU to go abroad and leave her?

Why not try to find an airbnb instead? Honestly though, having a holiday when you’ve just returned from one sounds a bit crazy.

Why cant you go without her ?

Can you go abroad by yourselves and then promise her a cheaper weekend later on the year?

were not going yet end of august.

her partner died 2 years ago so we usually take her with us now but she is so fussy.

I have looked at air bnb but she wants something to do at night.

Why are you paying for the whole holiday? If your Mum wants to go to Devon and it's expensive, does she not offer to pay her share?

I'd ask her to pay for UK ho.iday if shes being fussy. Cant you still use Haven facilities even if you're not staying there?

Yes go abroad, don't bother with Devon its absolutely heaving down here, I live here and I don't want to go anywhere at the moment there's so many traffic jams!

I would have thought your mum would pay her share but if that is not the arrangement you have, so be it.

You don't have to go away with her every year surely? It would be nice for just you and husband to get away on your own. A short break with her at some stage might be nice, if you can afford it and she can probably afford to pay something. You often see bargain breaks advertised and they look good. Suggest that and if she doesn't fancy it, that's down to her.

You sound like a really good daughter who regularly does her bit but you must not sacrifice your life for your mum whom, I presume, is able bodied and has all her faculties.

Your mum sounds quite rigid in her thinking and very precise about her wants. This is fine. But she needs to understand that money doesn’t grow on trees and it sounds as if you have been a good, kind daughter.

Either she forks out the difference for the caravan holiday or you go abroad, with or without her. You can maybe get a weekend away with her later in the year.

You're going abroad. You've asked if she wants to go, and she doesn't.

So you just go ahead without her. You've offered and given her the option and she said no.

I agree you're a kind daughter OP.
I struggle with the idea that 'children' of older people pay for holidays for their parents.
My Grandmother was like this. My Dad would pay for everything - (accommodation, meals out, day trips) and also went out of his way to accommodate her fussiness preferences. It was stifling.
I hope you're not in that situation OP.