To ask for some input regarding child's report.

[Harleyisme]

This is a teacher or school dissing thread or a boasting thread.

I have a ds 5 in reception class who has suspected asd and suffers bad anxiety.

Has has juat got an amazing report saying no issues at all. Thing is he refuses to go to school alot and i have to make him. He locks himself in bathroom clings to school gates takes persuading to stay in class. He has meltdowns in school at times hes struggled with a situation which they have told me hes even come out of school in a state a few times. So i am so confused on how they have said he is in his report as its conflicts with how he presents. School say at such a young age he wouldn't be able to mask to such a degree but hes so stressed and worked up about school before and after school that i can't mention anything with him losing it. Is it possible he can mask this much? I have noticed when he doesn't like something he says my mum won't or doesn't like that he seems to scared to say he doesn't like it.

I don't believe its just transition and i also don't believe he is coping. As i saod this has been going on all year ot has got worse as the years gone on. His emotional response aren't that of a coping child.

Also i have a meeting today. I have them alot they just never seem to match up to written paper work which is what i find odd.

I’m not saying it is, just that this is a possibility the school will want to discuss. If they aren’t seeing what you’re seeing, masking won’t be the only possible explanation and you should remain open to that.

My daughter's first primary school gave her excellent reports, whereas, like you, it was incredibly difficult to get her to go in. She had regular meltdowns at home and by the start of year 4 was on daily medication for stress related migraines which she was getting 4-5 days a week. These migraines disappeared during school holidays. She saw the SEN coordinator at school many times, who insisted that DD was a lovely girl and there was nothing wrong and no cause for concern. The head eventually admitted to me verbally that she had been subjected to serious bullying, following on from her meltdowns at school. In the written report this translated to some children being 'a little unkind'.

We pulled her out and home educated, which she loved. She was eventually diagnosed with ASD (PDA/aspergers). However her school reports from that primary school are all excellent and describe a thriving child, not the one that was having meltdowns, wrecking our house and destroying our home life. She is now back in a supportive secondary school. She is still on the medication, but is coping and much happier. Meltdowns are very rare now.

I don't know if you are actively persuing an ASD diagnosis, but depending on where you live this can take a very long time, so it is worth speking to CAMHS and getting started.

my dd doesn't have SEN but has struggled quite a bit with school. the verbatim report does show that - doesn't always listen, reluctant to engage in writing activities etc, struggles to manage her emotions. lots of positive too. the teacher has marked her as a concern going into y1, to ensure she gets the extra support she'll need. and she's worked with her more about the transition.

it doesn't sound like the report is reflect reality which may make it harder to access support when needed and demonstrate how long he's been struggling.

As an ex teacher, it's really common for children with issues to hold it together at school then fall apart at home. I'd ask to see the class teacher just to check. FWIW, I never had stock phrases I used on reports, it's lazy & children are too individual for that. I'd think about their personality & strengths & weaknesses then write my thoughts in draft first: & go back later to see if I still felt the same or wanted to edit it before final draft.

This year I have a child coming to me who masks brilliantly, at only 8 years old. They are calm, polite, engaged and have a small but solid friendship group. They are struggling academically but socially and behaviourally there are no issues. At home they have tried to kill a younger sibling, themself, ran away, destroyed furniture and so on. You would not know it to look at the child when they are present in school. Masking can see drastic shifts in behaviour and the results can be catastrophic at home.

There have also been times when, having had several meetings about a child's behaviour, their report hasn't made mention of that as I am discussing everything else - I do tell parents beforehand though that, given so much time has been spent focusing on x, the report will look at the other 25 letters of the alphabet as we don't normally discuss that.

This year I have a child coming to me who masks brilliantly, at only 8 years old. They are calm, polite, engaged and have a small but solid friendship group. They are struggling academically but socially and behaviourally there are no issues. At home they have tried to kill a younger sibling, themself, ran away, destroyed furniture and so on. You would not know it to look at the child when they are present in school. Masking can see drastic shifts in behaviour and the results can be catastrophic at home.

Certainly. I am also a trained teacher and I know this can be the case. But sometimes it’s isn’t the case. There needs to be a full and frank discussion, both of what the OP thinks is going on and of what the school thinks.

I had my meeting.
Basicly he has been flagged and the report is only covering the very basic of wgat he can do. Hes being discussed and they are working with the local sen school to build a one page profile of needs and support. His report doesnt cover any of his needs as that is all separate apparently.

Sometimes that's the best. We have plans in Scotland called GIRFMES and they focus on the additional support needs of a child, evaluated termly with parental meetings. I rarely mention the evaluations in end of year reports and instead focus on what they can do.
The parents are already aware that their child isn't at the expected maths and/or literacy level as their peers, I don't need to harp on about that again. What the report does let me do is say how well your child is coping at their level and highlight their successes.