I know, there are lots of MIL threads. This may be a bit long.
We are back from a Lovely Weekend with DH's family (grandparents, cousin and aunt and uncle). MIL and SIL were visiting, too, as it was a special anniversary for a great aunt. We always have a lovely time with DH's family. They are kind and thoughtful and absolutely brilliant with our DS(4). They live in a rural location about 5 hours from us. MIL and SIL (and her two children) live about 90 minutes from us at the moment. MIL has a longstanding chip on her shoulder because her sister has more money than she does. The Lovely Weekend was almost spoilt by the atmosphere she created and then perpetuated, which stems from the view that her sister has everything and she has nothing.
For context: MIL is divorced, 2 children (DH and SIL) and works a zero hour contract type job and has never shown any ambition beyond this. Her sister has been married forever, both have worked very hard for decades, had one child and have a very comfortable life in a cheaper part of the country. They bought the flat that MIL lives in so that she would have some security during a time when she was about to lose the flat she was renting at the time. Additionally, DH and MIL have never been particularly close. Before we met, he visited her far less frequently than he does now. MIL has visited her sister twice in about 10 years and we tend to visit at least 4 times a year.
We have always wanted to move somewhere rural and an opportunity is beginning to present itself whereby we may have the opportunity to do so, and still keep our jobs in the SE. We live in a 2 bed flat and cannot afford anything bigger anywhere even remotely near to where we are. This has stopped us having another child, for which I am desperate. I said right from the start that, were we to move away-away, it would have to be somewhere my mother could come with us, too. She and DS are incredibly close and we rely on her heavily for childcare. DH is on board with this, they get on very well. The house we are considering renting is a four bed farmhouse which would mean we weren't on top of each other.
The issue is that the place is just down the road from DH's aunt and grandparents. This is somewhere we've always had our hearts set on but, with the atmosphere after the weekend, DH and I are concerned that MIL and SIL would take this as a sleight against them and, possibly, stop us from seeing the children (both of whom we adore!) Were the location anywhere else in the country, there would be no issue.
If you have read this far, thank you! I would genuinely appreciate your honest thoughts on this.