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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this life is a bit pointless

25 replies

OhThisLife · 15/07/2019 22:09

What's the point of it all? I don't mean to sound depressive but sometimes it makes me stop and think.

You're born, you study, you work and then die. Next!
You're in this system, this drudgery, a cycle- you get replaced, you're forgotten.
We're all chasing things, never ending and what for?

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 15/07/2019 22:09

Well, I really enjoy mine.

shesellsseashell · 15/07/2019 22:10

It's quite fun though, isn't it? New places, new experiences, new friendships

Annabk · 15/07/2019 22:12

Yep, I think that’s a rational (and not necessarily depressive) view. When I hit 30 I decided all that could be done was to try and improve the world in small ways, to make a positive difference. For me it’s taking abused or fearful dogs and rehabilitating them. I’m making a few animals’ (and people’s) lives better before I pop my clogs.

Original poster
OhThisLife · 15/07/2019 22:14

Yes. There are moments that are lovely and I feel genuinely happy but it's not that. It's more the whole thing. Like what is it all for? The happiness, the pain, the joy, the fear- it doesn't mean anything when you're gone.

OP posts:
HairyFloppins · 15/07/2019 22:15

I feel like that some days, life is very mundane at times, and then I read something terrible in the news and I do start to appreciate the little things in life that we all take for granted.

Cautionsharpblade · 15/07/2019 22:17

That’s the bit I like, the ephemerality of it all. We come from nothing and we go to nothing. Look up at the stars and see how totally insignificant we are. I find it comforting.

MrsElizabethShelby · 15/07/2019 22:20

Is that not the joy of life op? Do what makes you happy because nothing else matters life is too short.

AnneLovesGilbert · 15/07/2019 22:21

Like what is it all for? The happiness, the pain, the joy, the fear- it doesn't mean anything when you're gone.

The lives you touch of people who will live on when you’re gone. The memories you create that will carry on. To improve the world in small ways in all the ways you can - to make things beautiful, interesting, better.

And for yourself - to experience as much of life as possible, the emotions and sights and sounds, to enjoy the people around you, learn from them, laugh at their jokes, admire their strengths and knowledge, love their foibles.

I’m a huge fan of being alive right now. No matter how long I get here it won’t be enough.

SummiSummit · 15/07/2019 22:23

A lot of interesting and enjoyable things are really pretty pointless. Doesn't mean you can't enjoy them while you speed through this gnat's fart of a life.

Messyisthenewtidy · 15/07/2019 22:45

That's weird. The votes are mostly YANBU yet the comments are mostly YABU.

Does that mean that the people who voted YANBU find it too depressing to put into words?

goodwinter · 15/07/2019 22:50

I agree OP - but I have depression, so 🤷

zeeboo · 15/07/2019 22:53

I'm a Christian so I take my meaning from my faith but on a purely secular level, I like life. I like watching rain from a comfy sofa, feeling the sun on my skin, watching my dog play, eating, watching films/tv, reading, being with my husband and children, laughing with my mates, lying in bed, taking a long bath. Yes there are some horrible times and my family has experienced our fair share of them but even during those times there are still smiling kids, a dog chasing a stick, the weather matching your mood, a cup of coffee which can be enjoyed however mutely.

BogglesGoggles · 15/07/2019 22:59

Well we’re breeding the next super race-I’m only half kidding. Having children has given me too much purpose for existential angst.

Asta19 · 15/07/2019 23:00

I voted YANBU because I agree. For the vast majority of us, even the nice things we do for family and friends will be forgotten once they all die too. Unless you’re famous you will be totally forgotten in 2 to 3 generations time. If not sooner! I feel ok with that though, it is what it is. I find it quite freeing in a way. It means I don’t sweat the small stuff or worry what others think of me.

Ohyesiam · 15/07/2019 23:01

One of the things I think is that you have to fill your life with “ point”.

If you listen carefully to yourself and follow the threads of what interests you, you become more and more yourself, and that sets up a momentum , because passion attracts energy. Interesting things happen to people who develop and follow their heart/ passion.
I wanted to be cool, but I’m not. It turns out that I love meditation and growing roses. I do that and it makes me happy. It brings meaning.

I try to have integrity in my dealing with people, and that brings meaning.
I work with people who are suffering from trauma and addiction. I see them improve. There’s nothing pointless in that for me. I feel really strongly about it.

JoxerGoesToStuttgart · 15/07/2019 23:01

There isn’t a point to life. We’re here until we die. You can either spend that time moping around and bringing everyone else down whingeing or you can decide to enjoy yourself and maybe bring a bit of fun to someone else’s life.

You could go a step further and decide to actually make a positive contribution to the lives of others. Not essential but might give you a sense of purpose and distract you from the pointlessness of your existence Wink

thetimekeeper · 15/07/2019 23:09

It is completely pointless, not a bit pointless.

The small joys people are citing here are only meaningful or purposeful if someone has the dumb luck to be living a life that isn't dominated by suffering. Because it does just come down to luck, not attitude or perseverance.

Random chance.

And at some point the earth will cease to exist too, so focusing on legacy is pointless. Even the things that outlive us will die.

pigsDOfly · 15/07/2019 23:19

I know exactly what you mean OP.

We're all scurrying around like ants, thinking our little lives are so important, but in the end, they really aren't.

Ultimately, we're all very unimportant.

No doubt this was why God was invented, to give some meaning to our existence and to give people hope that there is some point to it all.

It's not about being depressed. I really enjoy life, but like you, I think it''s all pretty pointless.

thenightsky · 15/07/2019 23:20

What thetimekeeper said is pretty much what I was going to type too.

I do try to not think about it too much though, as I end up depressed and unable to sleep.

Caplin · 15/07/2019 23:29

In terms of the universe it is pointless, we are specks.

But in my little world I am having a pretty good time.

gearandloathing · 15/07/2019 23:31

In a hundred years time we'll all be forgotten.

So make the most of it!

Catinthetwat · 15/07/2019 23:43

Yes, life is completely pointless. I was just thinking this yesterday and it's made me feel quite happy actually. It's helping with my anxiety.

Maybe there's a balance to be struck between feeling pointless and purposeful for human happiness.

Tallgreenbottle · 16/07/2019 00:04

Stop standing in the queue and get out of the system, OP.

Then you'll find real life.

Monday55 · 16/07/2019 00:05

We are slaves to money. Even the billionaires are working hard to get more money. I live a simple lifestyle now & haven't looked back since.

flamed12 · 16/07/2019 00:11

I completely agree.

But I find it comforting. I struggle with anxiety. Stress the small stuff. But it doesn’t matter.

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