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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To try to get my mum to stop enabling my brother's addiction?

2 replies

gingerbreadsprinkle · 15/07/2019 21:13

I have a bit of a tumultuous situation with my mum. She enables my brother by paying all his bills so he doesn't work, and he spends his whole day at his paid for flat smoking weed. My dad is against this and I think my parents are close to a divorce.

I have been trying to talk sense to my mum, saying that she is hurting him in the long run and that he's almost 40 with practically no job experience. I don't know how he is going to survive when my parents die and my own husband doesn't want us to take over paying for my brother.

I'm so frustrated because my mum doesn't want to talk about my brother and she says she gives up so she just gives him everything. She says she doesn't care what happens when she dies to him because she won't see it. I do worry what will happen when she dies because I'm not cold enough to want my brother to become homeless. Just so there's no drip feed... My brother and parents do not live in the UK like we do. If he becomes homeless, he will really be homeless with no help.

AIBU to still try to get her to stop enabling him despite her getting upset about talking about it?

OP posts:
ludothedog · 15/07/2019 21:18

The thing is you are no more likely to get your mum to stop than your brother. I,m sorry that you are in this situation. It's a no win for any of you. I suggest that you take a break for your own sanity.

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 15/07/2019 21:18

She's made it clear she won't change. Your brother won't wither while he's getting everything handed to him on a plate. Anything you say will make no difference. I would just stay out of it and not pick up the slack if anything happens to your mum. He will have to sort it out himself.

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