School Reports

[Glovesick]

It is my first year as a school mum. I went to school abroad so have little experience of the English Way.

Our kids got their reports today (end of Reception). One of the mums keeps going on about how their PFB got "exceeding" on everything and that her kid is top of the class, if not the best in the whole country.

This is the same mum that told me she could run faster than me and everyone else, but sadly there was no parents' race on Sports Day to prove it.

Is this as exceptional as she says or do lots of kids get these results?

Not got my dd's report yet as she accidentally brought home the wrong bag. No idea what her report will say.

My DB was one of these who got 10 A*s at GCSE.
DM didn’t go out for a week after results to avoid people whose kids had failed. When they told her their woes and inevitably asked: ‘and how did your son get on?’ DM found it just too embarrassing.
I echo a PP who said that the parents of very able children say the least.

I don’t think that can be right mumski. The DfE figures suggest about 2.5% scored the maximum score that would equate to exceeding in all areas.

I had two parents tell me, (their childrens' current teacher, who is great pals with their previous teacher, as well as being a professional who does effective handovers as the children move on to a new class ) that they were top of the class last year. They were not, by any means. In fact, that statement means very little. Top in p.e? Best handwriting, best speller, best at times tables, best at playdough modelling???? Some parents just believe wholeheartedly in their kids, which is lovely, I guess, but utterly meaningless. Ignore.

Apologies the 15% may be a bit high that is the figure for the communications and language areas only. However the principle still stands that it is not that unusual.

Some people like to boast. Of course we should be proud of our children but I know so many people who have over exaggerated or even lied to make them look better.

One friend told me that her son was at the top of the class for everything and exceeded everyone in the class ‘by far’. A month or two later she posted a copy of his school report, I think he’s pretty clever but it didn’t seem like he was top of the class. Why can’t you be actually be proud of what he’s achieved despite it not being top of the class.

Even my own mother was a bit like it. I got pretty ok GCSE results (One A, One B, mainly C’s and a couple D’s) but my mum used to tell people I got loads of A’s. Really?? What’s wrong with the actual results I have?

My son struggles academically. He’s at least 2 years behind his peers but as long as he’s progressing at his own rate I’m so proud and not ashamed to tell people this.

My dd is in reception. She is exceeding in all areas and has a glowing report. I have not felt the need to mention that to the other mums, just our own family who want to know so they can praise dd for trying so hard. I also haven't posted about it on social media (until now!) whereas most of the other mums have. I just dont see the need really. Dd knows we are proud of her, ramming it down everyone else's throat won't make her feel we are prouder!

Are you mad?! I’d be seeking her out & engaging her in conversation at every possible opportunity!

You are truly a woman after my own (evil) heart, colourlessgreenidea!

DD had the exceeding box ticked in most subjects except PE.

I absolutely guarantee neither of us can run faster than you.

I’m not sure I would tell anyone that unless the question was asked.

Some people are Uber competitive. I’m happy to know DD is doing her best, wherever the boxes are ticked.

"They really don’t get marked like that in Early Years. They are either emerging, developing or secure. They are expected to meet the early years goals in 7 areas."

I used to be an early years teacher (recently) and can confirm 'exceeding' is a category @Imustbemad00

Op the mum sounds like such a boaster! Try to ignore her.

People often boast about their children’s achievements. What’s weird is her saying she can run faster than everyone too. Like she has a pathological need for not only her child to be the best but herself as well. Stay clear. You’ll find plenty of others who will be doing internal eye rolling every time she appears!

You are truly a woman after my own (evil) heart, colourlessgreenidea

Are you mad?! I’d be seeking her out & engaging her in conversation at every possible opportunity!

Not at all. But I work with the parent in the OP’s twin. Four years after the birth of the wonder child it’s starting to wear a bit thin. I might develop a new enthusiasm for batshit boasting when said child starts reception.

It’s a long journey ...., brag when he’s top in his oxford final😂

that her kid is top of the class, if not the best in the whole country

She didn’t really say that, did she?!

I used to make a point of going into the Post Office on pension day after primary school SATs results, so entertaining. Everyone's grandchild was a mini Einstein, one had Level 8, that would be a GCSE B, the KS2 SATs didn't even have a Level 8. Pity pensions are now generally paid into the bank.

She sounds hilarious, it must make the school run more entertaining.

I would just be sooo devastated to hear that I wasn't the fastest runner out of all the school mums

pretty sure that in the state sector kids places in class are never measured publicly - so it would be impossible to know if she was top of the class or not.

They seem to think their child's report is a reflection on their own amazing parenting skills and will probably take any opportunity to boast for the next 11 years of schooling.

Of course they will, until the wunderkind starts to have problems and that will be the fault of poor teaching!

The children who come into High School with exceptionally good SATs are often the ones who can't cope when they almost inevitably come across something they can't to, they have few coping skills, never having been really challenged before. The plodder copes far better without the pressure of parental expectations.

Ds does very well at school and gets all 'exceeding expected age level', despite being the youngest in the year group.

I never say anything despite being very proud of him.
I hate the thought that people would think I'm bragging/smuggy McSmugface but it does rankle a bit...ds is not very good at sports, but apparently it's acceptable to talk about kids sports achievements but not academic achievements.
It's annoying but there you go.

Btw, I'd never brag about ds or want to make others feel bad but it would be nice to be able to talk about what he's good at. It just so happens he's good at maths and science and not footy!

My son got exceeding for communication and language. I'm afraid I told everyone I met for several days. He didn't speak at all until about 2.5, we went through speech therapy and he used Makaton etc etc and having just turned 4 (summer baby so he was 4 and 2 months when we got the reports) we were told he had finally caught up. He got expected for everything else other than ICT which was also exceeding. Didn't bother telling everyone else about that one though.

Just to add, based on a post above...I dont think ds doing well at school is down to my stellar parenting.
I think he's wired that way. Pure luck on my part!

My DS (Jan born) got all 2s - expected.
That's fine. I think he's smashing and am just glad he's not struggling with anything too much.

LadyRannaldini
That's so true.

Pushy boasting parent (PBP): Why is my child only on target and not exceeding? They were top of their school in primary.

Me: Their targets are based from their primary scores and your child is progressing well.

PBP: But why aren't they top/above? DC tells me 6 other children have been given exceeding.

Me: Because they aren't exceeding. Outline strengths and weaknesses here. I'm not willing to discuss other children with you. Your child also needs to use the strategies we have covered in class and be more resilient instead of rushing work when they can't do it first time.

PBP: You see this is very damaging to DC's confidence. In primary they were top and found the work easy and now they're not top and are finding the work difficult.

Me: They should find the work difficult. We aim to stretch all students.

PBP: If they are finding the work difficult then you aren't teaching it properly. My DC doesn't find work difficult because they're very able, you know their primary teachers told us they were gifted. I want them to move sets. My DC needs to be in a top set with appropriate work for their ability

Me: We don't set. The work they are doing is in line with the expectations for your child at this stage. When they master that then there are extension opportunities.

PBP: You say that but they aren't getting it. I want them moving to top set.

Me: Unfortunately as I've said, we don't set. Your child needs to put the effort in and persevere when finding work challenging instead of rushing and then talking.

PBP: They're probably talking because they are bored and under stimulated. It's very common for exceptionally bright children to drift if the teacher isn't meeting their needs. I want them moving to top set where they will mix with peers of a similar level.

(I give up but refrain from pointing out their child is fractionally above average in a cohort of 200-250 and wouldn't even come close to a top set even if we did set).

Head of department gets a snotty email about how I'm not meeting so called gifted child's needs.

Exceeding in everything here too. From reception to year 4. For both dds. November born. But, from year 5, it's gone a bit tits up. I assume because it's stricter now and all the summer borns have caught up. It isn't anything I've ever discussed with friends in real life though, because you can't can you if they're exceeding. Unless you're a twat.

I’d just like to say at the same age Ds2 would not have got exceeding (his school marked differently). He got whatever “the difference between him and a courgette is basically colour” is.

However he is now 9 and his reading age is off the chart, 18+. He is maths is exceptional.

Maybe he has peaked now, maybe it’s downhill from here, who know or cares. He is an awesome boy and I adore him.

I avoid people who brag about reports like the plague. Every child is different and every child gets where they are going in their own time.