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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Stopped my mum having contact with our kids

8 replies

shas19 · 15/07/2019 15:43

Last year one day my mum came home and literally sat me down and said she wanted my partner to move out (Back track for about 5months she just decided she wasn't keen on him and never made any effort with him don't know why). We was living there with our daughter and my son. We paid her rent and paid for all our own things as she actually didn't live in the property, she's always at her partners who lives 30mins drive away. Anyway, when she told me he had to go she told me I would have to chose and if I chose him me and the kids would have to leave, which is what happened. We are now at his mums home and looking to move out. My partner made it very clear she wasn't to see our daughter, tbh my mums never shown any interest in our daughter. Never wanted to have her on her own like she does with my son. All she cares about is my son. When she made us leave me and my partner went through a rough patch for about 2 weeks and I ended up in hospital having a nervous breakdown from all the stress and my mum turned up demanding she kept my kids even tried to get me to stay in hospital in the mental health ward as 'it would be good for me'. I'm now back to normal and my mental health doing good. Whenever she is around I go back down hill. She has abused me at my sons nursery calling me a 'vile c u next Tuesdays' infront of all the other parents and kids, I've had to change nursery's as my son didn't want to go anymore. Abused me in the street all in which my kids have been there and witnessed, called women's aid saying my partner beats me up ( he doesn't), told people I'm a 'Crackhead' certainly not! Christmas she was meant to come and pick my son up to have him the day after Boxing Day for a few nights but she never turned up. Last month I received a letter which looks like it's been typed by a professional ( her friend works in family law so I think it could be herHmm) basically saying she demands access to her 'grandchildren'.. the first word mentioned in the letter is actually 'grandson' which says it all really. I have ignored this letter as she said she has no interest in sorting anything with me or my fiancé but expects to see my kids, son to be more honest. My daughter is mentioned 3 times in a 2 page letter may I add. My son never asks for her, he's 4 and is very forward for his age. He's spoken to my nan and mums partner and hasn't mentioned my mum once which I'm taking as he is happy enough without her? Many people have noticed how she is and have said that once my partner came along my mum lost all control which I 100% agree with. Tbh not sure what I'm getting from writing this long post i just need to get it off my chest and have some advice if I'm doing the right thing keeping her away from my family.

OP posts:
Yellowweatherwarning · 15/07/2019 15:47

Just block her. Tell nursery she is not to collect your dc.
She has no rights as a dgm so don't get stressed about her demands.. Ignore ignore ignore.

MamImHere · 15/07/2019 15:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

shas19 · 15/07/2019 16:40

Thank you for your replies. I've already made sure she can't collect my son from nursery! I recently found it she was trying to work out what nursery i had placed him in etc, strange. It says in the letter she will be considering going to court but I really don't think it will get to that as I don't know how she'll afford it! That's the thing in her own head she is under the impression she has rights which I'm well aware she has none whatsoever, she's made me out to everyone that I'm nasty and vindictive but I can't have that kind of behaviour around my kids it's not fair to them

OP posts:
Luaa · 15/07/2019 16:49

It wont go to court, because she has no right to see your children, whatever she thinks!

shas19 · 15/07/2019 16:52

@Luaa it's all most as if she thinks my son is her child! I kid you not. I've been told that when she's looked after him before he's slipped up and called her mum by accident as kids do, instead of correcting him and telling him I'm nanny not mummy she just ignored it? It made me feel sick when I found out. Little things like undermining me when I say no or a bedtime routine that goes out the window when he used to stay with her. The list is endless

OP posts:
Cheeseandwin5 · 15/07/2019 17:20

She is a control freak and is seeing her 'victim' finally moving on with her. I would also block her and make sure you and your DH stand firm against her abuse. I would also report her to the police, this kind of harassment should not be allowed to continue without a response

Yellowweatherwarning · 15/07/2019 17:48

Should have added I am nc with my dm and she no longer sees my dc either.
I told her straight we didn't want her in our lives.

shas19 · 15/07/2019 19:12

@Yellowweatherwarning she messages all the time asking to speak to her grandkids, it's been going on for months but used to be can I speak to my grandson, not granddaughter!

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