AIBU about my mothers wedding?

[sendingallmylovetoyou]

Hi everyone,

I just wanted some advice if possible.

I've had a rocky relationship with my mother since my parents divorce when I was 15. My mum went off to start a new life and seemed to forget she was a parent, only seeing me when it suited her or to try and prove to boyfriends over the years that she was a good mum...

I was really angry at her during my teenage years, (which I'm 32 now) and learnt recently that I just don't need her in my life anymore, its sad but I've made so much effort over the years to try and get our relationship back on track, and all it does is get me no where and cause me stress/sadness.

My mum and her partner came to my wedding but they both kept their distance, and left after the ceremony. I was gutted, and her partner looks miserable in our wedding photos.

In the 5 years since I got married our relationship has become practically non existent. Out of nowhere I received a wedding invitation in the post.

I'm torn if I should go, most people say "it's their day not yours, just grin and bear it". But should I really drive 5 hours down south to attend a wedding when I don't even know the partner as they've made no effort with me? (Only met him about 3 times)

Should I do it for my mother, even though she's neglected me most of my adult life?

I know it's the final nail in the coffin if I don't go, but I'm not sure I'm really losing anything.

If you do want to maintain a relationship of some sort with your mum could you plan a holiday/short break in the general area (so you aren't driving all that way for an hour or two) and then attend for only the ceremony like she did for you?

She and her partner made the effort to come to your wedding so it would be best to make the effort to go to her wedding.
It may have been difficult for her at your wedding if the exh/your dad and his family attended your wedding.

Don't bother. Rsvp no and send a card for the day. Write her off as she did you years ago.

BogglesGoggles Mon 15-Jul-19 19:03:12
I wouldn’t go unless there’s an inheritance at the end for you.

Too right!

I wouldn’t go. Weddings are expensive. Why waste your money on someone who only wants you there as it would be embarrassing if you weren’t.

I wouldn't bother. I'm very low contact with my mother as she is too troublesome. Personification of a man's woman. Not enamoured of women in general including her own DDs who she'd happily make feel like crap. Time passes, we're grown up, she's s in her mid-70s now and seems to think we should start playing happy families. No thanks. I wouldn't consider going if I were you, you'll only upset and anger yourself, then be back on here with another post about that. What's the point? Life really is too short for some people and situations.

Thank You everyone